Self destructing and extremely depressed. Drug Use increasing.

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Ok, So about 4 months ago I started at university with high hopes as I was studying a course I loved with something I was extremely good at. However since I started things just went downhill really fast. I have struggled to make any decent friends and found myself hanging out with people I didn't really like and since I stopped being with them I have found myself alone.

My lack of friends has left me in a horrible situation where I do not have anyone to share a house with next year and I am struggling to find a place to live. 

Also the course I thought I loved is going terribly. I know it is the right course for me but I have lost all motivation and all assignments I have completed so far have been of a horrible standard and I know I can do better. I always show up but still none of my lecturers even know my name or that I exist and I know if they paid some attention to me they would see how good I am. My studies are in a mess and I don't know how to recover as I feel getting off on this bad a foot has wrecked evertything completely.

I am also running very low on cash as I have spent most of my savings and student loan on a drug habit that came out of nowhere. I have always taken drugs recreationally but since I started univeristy I am taking Cocaine, MDMA, Mephedrone and other substances multiple times a week just to feel good for a while. 

I don't expect any of you to have an answer for how to fix all this as it is me who has backed myself into this hole but what I really want is someone to hear me. I don't feel like getting out of bed in the mornings and don't want to face these problems. I just want to run away somewhere and bury my head in the sand and forget the world completely.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    First you have to tackle the drugs and get on rehab or how can you expect to get your life back on track once you have done this then the other problems you have are simple to correct,I do know someone who has amazingly put there life back on track and has a wonderful family of his own. now if you private message me he will be able to advise you as that side im not sure of its for proffesional help or someone who has been there and knows what they are talking about,I really dont want you to waste your life and would urge you to start now as once you go down the drug path you will loose your friends and only attract other drug users.
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  • Posted

    Dear Chris, please, please, please ask for some help as Eli Bird has just advised,.. you have your whole life before you, you can change this, think of how proud you will feel........ we all get a bit lost sometimes and we all need help too.... you can do this.... and you deserve to...

    You will get your life back on track, then all the rest will fall into place,,,, I wish you all the best and big, big hugs...sincere wishes to you,, Deirdre xxx

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  • Posted

    ok, Stop the recreational drugs Now. Yes they can be fun but now you need to sort yourself out and that cannot happen if your too busy getting high.

    Look I have taken a lot of drugs and if nothing else I have learnt one thing, For every up you will get a down! The more you do the drugs and with the higher anounts you will need those downs will last longer and go a lot deaper. Eventually all the day to day stuff you once liked and enjoyed will loose all colour and soon you become depressed and hate life, except when your high. I have been there and done it. It sounds like this is where you are now.

    Look, I nearly ruined my life with mdma and I have seen friends ruin theirs with coke. Stop the drugs and let your self and your brain recover. How long the recovery takes depends on how long and how much you have been taking BUT the important thing is the brain Does recover. Regardless of what the papers say.

    Additionally, after stopping ALL the drugs you may want to see your GP if you still feel particulaly rough after a few weeks or go to the gp straight away if you have suicidal thoughts or want to harm yourself.

    Also don't make any important decisions until you have been clean for a while. You want to be sure about what you want and believe me you can make some very bad choices when on a extended come down or drug induced depression.

    Basically clean up, go to the docs if you need and review your situation again in a few weeks when your heads straightened out.

    Also as a note, taking 5HTP is good for a mdma come down as it helps replace your lost serotonine. A high vitamin B complex like Baroca will help and a general good diet will go a long way.

    .

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  • Posted

    some very good advice from tony ,someone who has been there ,i really hope you take his advice as he knows what he is talking about ,So you have good advice ,support and  people who care about your well being so i think that is a good recipe to start smile its up to you we cant make you but we can give you the suport you need smile
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  • Posted

    go on to The Student Room http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/ there are people you can talk to about any subject it would be good to start chatting about your course or accomodation or anything in general it will keep your mind occupied while chatting to other students like yourself smile
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  • Posted

    Hi Chris,

    I've noticed a few people have replied to you about your drug taking. I can't really comment on this since I haven't been there myself, however, as I'm sure you know, things will improve once you stop taking them.

    University life is something I know about though.. i've been to Uni twice and both times I was battling with depression and a sense of isolation, which you are feeling right now. Maybe you could join a uni club? It's a good way to meet like minded people and to get away from the people you said you don't like. As for accommodation... have you looked on gumtree? As lots of students use this if they have spare rooms. Students may also advertise spare rooms on uni notice boards.

    By the sound of it the subject you are studying is something enjoy, it just sounds like your depression has sucked the joy out of it (which sadly depression does with everything) Most uni's have counselling services that are free... have you looked into this? It would be a shame for you to leave something you clearly once loved. But at the end of the day, if you do decide to leave the course then that's your choice. I did a term at uni first and left, then I took a few years out to recover. That was the best thing I ever did if i'm honest.

    Please get help as soon as you can, either by going to your Dr if you have one near you at uni or go to the uni themselves and ask them for help.

    All the best, Amy.

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