Self Esteem Issues? Please help.

Posted , 4 users are following.

I have a friend who is driving me to distraction.  I am trying to understand why he behaves as he does but I would welcome thoughts and advice.  He has this habit of "talking up" everyone and everything related to him.  They are always the best at everything they do, they know celebrities, they mix with important people, they have outstanding skills.  I know for a fact that most of what he says is fabricated.  It also extends to other things, if you cut your finger, then he has cut his hand ten times worse.  If you have a cold, he has had bird flu.  He told us his niece had cancer, but it was only an abnormal smear test.  Its so frustrating.  He buys expensive items and then brags about them.  Often doesn't even use them but just likes to talk about having them.  He told us his wife was the head of a government department and had a really important job but I know she was just an ordinary employee.  He talks about things that happened years ago and embellishes his role in them so its all about him even though I know the truth.  He seems to be getting worse the older he gets.  As for normal people who are not associated with him in any way, they are all idiots and morons.  I tend to feel that he is doing this to boost his self esteem but I am at the point where it is hard to be around him.  Any ideas please?

0 likes, 5 replies

Report / Delete

5 Replies

  • Posted

    It's called low self esteem.

    A sufferer tries to compensate by inventing an imaginary world in which they believe they have value.

    Such a person needs to undertand that just being normal - ordinary is perfectly ok, but I do agree they can be very tiring and utterly fraustrating to deal with.

    Any suggestion that they might need help/ counselling is usually rebutted.

    How to deal with it? Well they usually sort themselves out in the end, either that or become totally friendless. 

    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Honestly, if it bothers you that much, don't be their friend. It's a simple fix. Yes, maybe it's their way of coping. I used to lie about my life because I was ashamed of my true past and reality. Today, I guess I'm too honest but don't worry about what anyone thinks. If I don't find a relationship of any kind to be rewarding to both parties, I walk away. Something I didn't know how to do before. This may be too forward but it's how I see can't deal with it any more, break ties and move on. Good luck!
    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    I know it seems like the easiest thing to do is just walk away but it's a bit more complicated than that, there are other people involved with him who I really like and want to remain friends with.  I really just want to understand why he acts like this.
    Report / Delete Reply
    • Posted

      I understand...I say he behaves this way because of low self esteem or being ashamed in some way. I guess if I wanted to remain friends I may approach him. It's what I would do but see what others may advice you to do and pick the one you are most comfortable with. I'm no expert...just thinking of how I may approach it. Best of luck!
      Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up