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Well I don't know what to tell you, tonight I just wish I was anyone but me, I don't know what I'm struggling with tonight maybe just exhaustion.
I'd love the feeling of numbness right now although I'm slipping into self hate maybe my probs are a little more deep routed I'm starting to scare myself. I've gone from wanting to die right through lots of different stages happiness, enlightened, laughing, crying heartache so so much
I think I've fallen for the loathing of oneself tonight although I probs won't do it I feel like cutting my face off I'm not even sure that makes sense to anyone I've never been a cutter or self harmed ( apart from commuting suicide) I love psychology and so understand the connection between self harm and self loathing however I'm can't say why I feel like cutting my face off I'm not a bad person or disgraced in looking at oneself nor have I done anything I'm ashamed of I just don't see where this urge has come from I see nothing behind my eyes darkness a stranger looking back if you like
Well I'm just asking if anyone else has had this problem maybe they could throw a little light on it for me
Feel a little lost tonight like I don't know myself or even what I'm capable of this is not me
I'm so confused
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