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Self image post op

Posted , 22 users are following.

DawnDedee
DawnDedee

This is a sensitive topic for me, but I wonder how others are dealing with the body changes post op?  Right now my body is in the worst shape, and in fact, it is in the shape that I fought succesfully my whole adult life to avoid.  I have lost my figure.  I do not think, at my age, that I will ever get it back.  I had to lay around for a year and a half in agony with a failed THR, and there was nothing I could do.

I cannot relax into this, yet I lack the energy and drive to work out and I wonder if at my age, nearly 58, I can even turn this around.

I do not like what I see in the mirror.

Dawn, USA

 

7 likes, 133 replies

133 Replies

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  • sandra16826
    sandra16826 DawnDedee

    Posted

    I feel the same. I'm turning 61 this week and I don't expect to look 21 or even 40, but I've never looked this bad....I'm almost 7 months post op and guess I should just be thankful I'm doing well...my only plan is to join weight watchers and get serious ..... Years ago when I gained too much it worked for me.....
    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee sandra16826

      Posted

      Same here, I do not expect to look 21 or 40, but I do not want to look like I do now.  I am not firm and the extra weight is unhealty to keep on.  I have lost 12 pounds since my revision and have leveled out at one weight.  I have never used weight watchers, so I might look into it.  Thank you Sandra for you kind response.
  • lors23
    lors23 DawnDedee

    Posted

    Hi Dawn

    I don't think anyone likes what they see in the mirror. I get where you are coming from l have sat around more than a year and watched my weight go up but all that l cared about was the pain l was suffering it had took over my life. Ok l had put a stone in l have never really liked what l saw in the mirror as when l was younger l was huge over 20 stone and l ended up losing it all through another illness. I was left with saggy skin and although l was the perfect size for my height if l looked in the mirror with no close on its not a pretty sight. But do you know what l was alive and got through the illness. Thats all that mattered to me. And tha same goes this time l am 8 days post op to my 2nd hip replacement. Now l have 2 lovely scars to add to the saggy skin. I am early 40's and l am past tge stage of caring if l have the perfect figure as long as l have no pain from OA l know l will lose the stone l put in. I learned the last time l would rather be alive and healthy than almost dead. I am sure in a matter of time you wilk be back at thecgym keeping fit. There is nothing wrong with wanting ti be like this but right now you have been ill with hip replacements. What was the alternative ignore the hip pain and end up in a wheelchair. You have to think about these things health comes first tgen when you are better you can go back to light exercise and build it up from there. There is still hope.l am sure you look fine in the meantine x

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee lors23

      Posted

      Nice response, thank you.  Yes, I too have thought like you.  And revisions are even more difficult to spring back from.  I guess that is what I expected, to spring right back like I did when I was younger.  It used to be that when I saw my otherwise concave abdomen become a little puffy, an inner alarm would go off and I would begin to exercise it away.  I lack that inner alarm right now.

      You have made a good point that it has boiled down to just being thankful for no more pain.  Being thankful to be able to walk again. Thankful to be alive.  I will find the way to transition.

    • lors23
      lors23 DawnDedee

      Posted

      I am glad you took my point in board dawn as l know how lucky l was not to die the first time round l became really it l was only 29 years old and spent nearly a year in and out hospital l was that heavy at the time because of my illness the weight drastically fell of me likecl went to less than half my size in a matter of months all my orgins began to shut down and they were pumping me full of fliids trying yo get my kidneys to work. I got through it somehow but my body was left looking awful witg no clothes on as l had lost the weight drastically. I was just thankful l was alive and now l realise there is more imoortant thing than having the perfect figure although l lòok normal and not huge anymore l am fine for my size. Now l had the hip propblem and have not been as active a stone has creeped on but l know as soon as l am able to get back to my normal routine it will go again its not something that worrys me. As my doctor said l would end up in a wheelchair if l did not get hips replaced. I hope yhis comes across ok l am just trying to explain health is more important than vanity. X
    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee lors23

      Posted

      Your point comes through excellently Lors, and I thank you for your insights for they have helped me put this into perspective.  I need to spend no time on fretting about my body shape.  Yes, exercise as I can, but not out of self hatred.  I need to spend more time on actively being grateful that I am alive, healty and able to walk.  You and all others who posted have really helped me with this senstive issue and I am glad to know that I am not alone and know how others have processed their similar feelings.

      And for me especially, I need to not be so hard on myself.  Something I do easily and often not realizing it.  

  • rose0000
    rose0000 DawnDedee

    Posted

    I must admit I feel ravaged. It isn't just the reflection in the mirror, but a more general feeling of having been through a war zone and come out the other side. At the top of my list is new lingerie, along with a new wardrobe. I have been wearing leggings for 9 weeks and I am sick to death of them...I am going to give my jeans another go! They rubbed too much on my wound before and were uncomfortable to wear.

    The only thing that lifted my mood was exercising for an hour each day. I am not sure where you are in your recovery but this is really working for me.

    I also had my hair done, nails etc and felt more human.

    If we can possibly love whatever we see battle wounds and all, I think we should, our beautiful bodies have been to hell and back, and will need some tender loving care for a few months, that body has got you through everything, it has been strong when you needed it to be, stayed with you through all of your situations, it is the reason you are here at all.

    Perhaps you could do with some warm baths, gorgeous mosturising creams, massaging and generally really looking after yourself. Do as much exercise as you are able, healthy rainbow food to repair and heal and give yourself a big hug and a new wardrobe, a new hair style....its time to shake off the operation and claim your life and body again...I know that is what I am hoping to do.

    • sue50140
      sue50140 rose0000

      Posted

      Thank you Rose that is just what I needed.  I'm going to start today do some of my old exercises (the ones I can) as only 3+ weeks post op. I too have been wearing joggers and loung trousers will try my better trousers and  get a pedicure.  Still can't do my feet.  Sue xx
    • LDW
      LDW rose0000

      Posted

      That's a lovely post rose.

      how many weeks post op are you?

    • rose0000
      rose0000 LDW

      Posted

      11 weeks and counting.

      Really ready to grab life back now, patience is a wonderful thing with this recovery...how are you doing? x

    • sue50140
      sue50140 rose0000

      Posted

      Can't wait until 6 week assessment and then I think I can look forward more.  Doing as you said and keeping up my exercises Sue x
    • rose0000
      rose0000 sue50140

      Posted

      Absolutely don't rush the first six weeks, beyond the physio exercises and some walking I didn't either it is really important to allow the muscles to knit together properly....once you have the green light you can enjoy swimming and cycling etc...it is so exciiting! I do stop when the tweaks begin, but that is happening less and less...and you cann build up slowly and carefully.

       

    • LDW
      LDW rose0000

      Posted

      11 days post op and definitely feeling less "washed out". Managing to get a decent night's sleep, and feeling a bit braver about doing little things.

      overworryng (I think) about twinges/pains that I don't understand (although no idea why I think I should understand them with my 0 hours medical training lol!)

      starting to miss the normal things in my life like walking the children to school, but grateful that I have help to do that for me.

      half term has been good to have the kids around a bit more (my husband has been off work), especially my 9 year old son who has been quite upset and worried about me. Kept getting angry, then bursting into tears at the smallest thing. We've been having lots of cuddles and chats and he seems back on an even keel. My 5 year old daughter seems fine smile.

      i seem to be very sedentary ..... Lots of laying down, bits of sitting and bits of walking. I think I may have overdone the walking on Friday, and feel like I am still paying for it. (At least I hope that's what it is - see there I go again, thinking the worst).

      A long answer to a short question , but feels good to talk x

       

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee rose0000

      Posted

      Thank you Rose, you are amazing.  I hear the message of loving myself and respecting myself instead of loathing myself.  Somehow I will find the inner strength to do that hour of exercise.  I am one year out of a tough revision and was left anemic all this time.  Never had anemia before and it is amazing how weak it makes me feel.  It is better now, but not completely.  

      Now and then I do feel a spark of passion returning.  I have picked up my camera again and have taken pictures, I have been working with my hair and doing a bit of makeup.  I still cannot do makeup two days in a row because it is exhausting to apply and exhausting to wash it off at night. I too long to fit into my nice jeans again.  

    • DawnDedee
      DawnDedee rose0000

      Posted

      HI Rose, I like what you said..."Really ready to grab life back now".  Grab it.  That language takes me out of victim mode, victims of this rough surgery, and implies that I can still make choices and be in charge of my body again.  Nice. 
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