Sensory disorder, autistic spectrum, or just normal but weird behavior for 20 month old

Hi everyone,

I have s little boy that is a few days shy from 20 months old. He says 4 words 2 of which are strong and clear (mama, dada) and two which he doesn't use often and only seems to whisper (up, all done). Honestly always thought the whispering thing was a bit quirky but as he got older I noticed he isn't really picking up new words and I haven't heard him say up or all done for about a month.

Normally I'd just think he is marching to the beat of his own drum but then he started doing other things I have not seen before such as walking around our table repeatedly. If I get in his way he hugs me but a realize he is not so much hugging me as he is over excited and squeezing me. he has always done this thing with his hands where he opens and shuts them when he gets really excited and his body tenses belittle and his mouth will open wide and again we were told it's a quirk. but I noticed he sort of does that (sortbof a milder version) when walking around the table and now he walks around other objects.

Since he could control his hands he would fold his ears over not exactly at noise just in general. It was enough I thought something was wrong with his ears when he was younger but there wasn't. Now he is doing it at sounds. Not just loud sounds, but sometimes it's just a normal sound that's not soft or loud. He does not cry at these sounds. He does really cry or throw tantrums at all ever. The only place I noticed he will freak out is in the doctors office and only in the exam rooms.

When I walk with him he is s big boy so I can't carry him (30 lbs in size 5 diapers) I noticed if I hold his hand he doesn't really fuss or try to run and get away. If I let his hand go though he will be all over the place and he does not come to me if I call for him.

I recently realized he doesn't really respond to his name. I didn't notice this before because he does respond to me if I'm doing other things such as have something he is intrested in or if I sing his name which I noticed I did a lot. But if I say I'm gonna get you he giggles and runs. he will even watch to see if I'm chasing and if I'm not he will wait for me to.

He does not point or reach for things. I was told because he is very smart and tall that a lot of that may be because he will think and figure out what he wants (and he is very clever which I will get into in s moment). But he also doesn't wave buh bye and when we do play peekaboo or patty cake which he does know he will use my hands but not his own.

A more recent addition to all this is he will either blow on his arm which wasn't weird until he started occasionally biting it. Not hard enough to make teeth marks. The blowing I just figured he liked and I can get him to copy me if I do it but the biting was hhard enough to make red marks and seemed to be another thing he does when he is excited.

He doesn't have any toys he is obsessed with. Does prefer toys or things he can shut such as drawers or doors but you can remove him he doesn't really care if you do. He does have his hands down his pants which I admit isn't odd for a boy but he does it almost 24/7. Far more then my other two sons. He does love music but doesn't try to dance but he smiles. If you put on an actual music video not a kids music video but a real one he will be glued in front of the TV.

So here's the thing my son is super smart and brave. He pretty much learned to walk the second he could stand which was about 8 months. Heck he practically just ran. He learned to climb over every obstacle. He even climbs over our couch and just jumps off the back onto his feet or butt (no I didn't let him he was just fast). We have had to get creative with almost all babyproofing because he has figured it out. we have one of those plastic covers on his door knob because he like to open his door from his crib. He can open the door with it on. How we have no freaking idea because he won't do it if we are watching. He smiles and giggles almost all the time, rarely cries, will absolutely look you in the eyes, and will hug and cuddle. Not a big kisser but does know how. He seems to be always calm in the car (I do mean always) and in the grocery store besides getting excited and doing that thing with his hands where he tenses up when he gets excited nothing. At the park he will run run run until he is bright red sweating and we normally have to pick him up to stop him but he doesn't ever cry when we do.

My husband and I are concerned what these behaviors could mean and the doctors have set up home visits with OT and Speech but no one will tell us if you can be so lovey and make eye contact still be autistic. Is it possible to have this much sensory and still grow out of it? I do have a chronic illness that makes it difficult to get on floor and play games with him, but I talk to him all the time and he has 3 older siblings that he interacts with ( 6, 9, 16) plus when his father is home he does do more hands on stuff with him but I still wonder if it could be a contributing factor.

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