Serious health anxiety and lymph nodes
Posted , 6 users are following.
Hi everyone
I'm new to this forum this is my first post. I have been battling anxiety for nearly 10 years and in november my latest flare up began after I had an endoscopy due to indigestion. I had to have a biopsy done as they found a small lipoma. The wait for the biopsy results triggered something in my head and I have been severely anxious over anything to do with my health ever since. (Biopsy was clear) i have two young children aged 3 and 1 and this health anxiety is ruining my life, I just want to be a normal worry free mum to my babies. I have this constant fear that I'm going to die of a terminal illness and I'm going to leave my children without a mummy. My latest fear is lymph nodes, my gp checked them a few months ago as I have a couple in my neck and groin. She said she wasn't worried as they're moveable and she said she's felt hundreds of them in her career. However, the fear has resurfaced and I'm worried again, they haven't changed since I last saw her but I can't help but worry. I spent alot of time on Google and I'm petrified that I have lymphoma or leaukemia. Can anyone relate to me? I am coming up to my 4th week of 20mg citalopram which has slightly taken the edge off but the worries are still.taking over my mind, should I go on a higher dose? I'm back at the gp in Monday for a review. Also I'm waiting for an appointment with a psychiatrist. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thankyou x
0 likes, 12 replies
ScaredyCake alicia1990
Posted
I hear you...! I'm suffering terribly with health anxiety. My latest thing that's going to take me away from my young children is either appendicitis or ovarian cancer. I havent confirmed which yet! But the intermittent grumbly pain I've had in my lower right tummy for the last 10 days, has me in a right tiz!
It's exhausting to worry 24-7 isn't it. I've always had anxiety but the health anx started in June last year. My father passed away from kidney cancer a year earlier and as soon as I'd sold his house and my life slowed down, my mind must have just gone into overdrive!
alicia1990 ScaredyCake
Posted
Hi scaredycake,
Thankyou for your reply, I'm so sorry about your dad, it's never easy to lose someone.
Your right it's absolutely exhausting worrying all the time, I find it really hard to talk about future plans or anything incase I jinx my health, sounds daft I know but I can't help it. I walk down the street and look at people thinking, I wish I was worry free like they are, even though I don't know what they're going through. I wake up every.morning and I look at my babies and instantly feel sad that I'm going to leave them without me, it scares the life out of me that I'm going to suffer a long terminal illness. I wish I could listen to everyone around me but my head keeps pulling me back. our thinking like this.
I hope you start to feel ok soon x
sharon73515 alicia1990
Posted
Hi Alicia.
You really are not alone I can promise you that.
I too suffer badly from health anxiety and depression too. I'm also on 20mg citalopram and have been for years but don't think it's working as well anymore so I'm going back to the doctors this week to see what alternatives there are.
But what I will say is you really must stop consulting dr google as it just feeds your anxiety, I know this from experience and some cbt sessions.. you will get through this and back to your old self ( I'm struggling big time at the mo Too ) good luck x
alicia1990 sharon73515
Posted
Hi Sharon,
Thankyou for your reply, can i ask, when you started citalopram, did you get any of these side effects?
Hot flushes,
The odd night sweat,
Blurred vision when trying to focus (reading etc)
Yawning
I'm going to persevere with it and hope my body settles. I hope you can get something to help.you feel more human. Oh and I agree i really need to stay off google! X
sharon73515 alicia1990
Posted
Hi Alicia, no probs for reply it's good to talk to other people that are going through it.
I honestly can't remember getting any side affects when I first started ( sorry it was years ago after switching from sertraline but can't remember why I switched either lol memory is really bad)
But I do get the odd night sweats now and hot flushes too tho this could also be down to the fact I may be going through the peri menopause ( irregular periods too ) so it's hard to know if it's down to citalopram or not but I want to switch AD as I don't think they are working for me anymore plus I think they could be contributing to the headaches ( another person on here commented that get headaches stopped when she changed AD)
Everyone is different and side effects vary. It's just a pain having to play the waiting game when changing doses or medication as it takes time to get settled in to your system which doesn't help when you have anxiety
jodie63836 alicia1990
Posted
This sounds like me, I have young children to and am suffering health anxiety generalised anxiety disorder and OCD, I have been through years of worrying about lymph glands my son had two come up at the age of 15 months, still there now & he's still well and he's almost 9, I have one which came
Up when I was 3 I'm now 31 also I'm fine, they are frightening because of what they can be, but if they are slightly larger than a normal gland it's because they have been activated and don't always go down small, I am suffering awful at the moment thinking I'm going to die and leave my kids without me. It's horrific I know exactly how you feel, hard to enjoy life when you are worrying constantly. X
alicia1990 jodie63836
Posted
Hi jodie,
Sorry your not coping well just now either, it's not easy being a mum and feeling like someth9mg is going to happen to you, how long have you felt like this? I'm really.struggling with it and I don't know how I'm going to get through it, it's taking over my life. Do you have anyone to discuss it with? My partner gets quite frustrated with me.x
sharon73515 alicia1990
Posted
borderriever alicia1990
Posted
Put your mind at rest I have on on the back of my neck, it appeared in the mid 80s and it has been there for me since then. It was proven as a fatty lump so the diagnosis is really right I am a fatty lump and I am still here.
20mg is a regular dose for Citalopram, if you are ok your GP may increase the dose to 30mg or 40mg at review.
BOB
alicia1990 borderriever
Posted
Hi bob,
Thankyou for the reassurance, it's just so real and scary in my head. I wish I could just be rational and normal x
borderriever alicia1990
Posted
Always around
BOB
shjshj alicia1990
Posted
I am exactly the same, I have had some pain in my pelvic region lately and all I can think about is the c word it's taken over my entire life I can't think about making plans as i have in my head that I'll need treatment or that I won't be here my children are 4 and 1 and I feel sick at the thought of not seeing them grow up. It's completely engulfing me right now. GP has started me on citalopram but only been for 5 days so far.