Sertraline- encouragement needed!
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hello,
I'm new to this site but I'm hoping others in similar situation can give me some reassurance. I've had ocd and anxiety for years and had my first real taste of depression 3 years ago after having my son.
I've had sertraline in the past for my anxiety and I've always felt better enough to stop taking them, but then my ocd/low mood comes back so I've gone back on them. I'm guessing really I've learnt recently that I need to just continue with them. The last time I stopped them was May and I've had to take them again just before Xmas after a lot of small stresses that seem to get on top of me. I've two young children, run accounts on husbands business, we've had to rehome one of our dogs which was heartbreaking and I think that's all been very overwhelming and has built up gradually without me realising.
I just wanted to post to see how many others are suffering with what I'm certain are the side effects of sertraline. I'm on day 13 now and I was feeling okay in week one, very up and down, but now I feel constantly anxious and panicky and having those awful depressive thoughts of bleak future etc. Those in turn are making me more panicky. I've been sleeping fine until last night, but slept terribly. Also I've been eating what I can as my appetite is awful.
I can't remember feeling quite so poorly on them when I've had them in the past, but I think maybe this time around I was a bit more anxious before I started them.
Just wondering how everyone else is getting on and how you're feeling on them!
Thanks for reading x x
0 likes, 9 replies
GodsServant amy97770
Posted
Hi Amy, I think I'm a little further along than you this time around. Like you, every time I do well on this med I stop taking it or lower the dosage drastically, thinking I no longer need it and I should be fine this time around (you would imagine I'd learn this by now after living this for decades!), but then not long after I get off of it, the obsessive thought/depression comes back with a vengence. And each time I get back on the zoloft, I am scared that it would no longer work for me like it did before and it seems to take longer each time to work - I was where you are at 2 weeks ago fearing it wouldn't work - but this is just your mind playing tricks on you. It's working now for me, very slowly. It took about 6 weeks for me to start getting better but longer to completely return to myself.
Stay strong, hang in there! And let's cross our hearts and promise each other we won't get off this med anymore if it works well this time.
Xx
amy97770 GodsServant
Posted
Thank you ever so much for your reply. It really made me smile- yes we will STAY on it this time around!!!
I'm glad you're feeling a little better now after 6 weeks.I know it takes some time to return back to a more normal self, it's so hard when you're in the midst of what seems like constant panic attacks to think that you're going to be okay!
I called the Dr at lunchtime and had a blub and panic down the phone and she has given me some diazepam if I need it to help me cope....it's on standby!
Thanks again :-)
clare2729 amy97770
Posted
clare2729 amy97770
Posted
Hi Amy,
Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time.
I was on citalopram for depression for around 11 years on and off but consistently on a low dose for the past 4/5 years with no problems whatsoever. So much so that I came off them in August.
I was fine for around 6 weeks when I felt my mood start to dip. I went to the dr who said I probably needed to go back on the lower dose. I thought I knew better though and thought I could get through without them. Again I was ok for around 3-4 weeks and then 5 weeks ago today I woke in the early hours and this hit me like a ton of bricks. Very low mood, anxiety and insomnia. Never ever felt so bad in my life! In the past I've only ever had low mood not the anxiety. I'm a single parent and have been for many years but suddenly I'm obsessing over the children growing up (they are 12 and 13) and not needing me anymore! Ive literally become obsessed over that and thinking about my mum getting older and won't be around forever and I'm just convinced I'm going to be left on my ow with nothing!
I'm so frustrated with myself because I should just be enjoying the here and now instead of wasting that time worrying about what's going to happen in the next 4-5 years!
Anyway the dr put me straight back on to citalopram at 10mg and was increased over 4 weeks to 40mg. Unfortunately it did nothing for me at all which I don't understand when it's worked so well in the past.
I saw a physiatrist last week who has put me on to 50mg of sertraline. I guess it's too early to say if it's working, I'm still very anxious with the same intrusive thoughts going round and round in my head and I'm not sleeping at all without the zopliclone the dr prescribed (this scares me massively as well). I've always loved my bed and my sleep whereas now I get more and more anxious the closer to bedtime it gets!
I have had a bit more of an appetite the last couple of days which I've read is a good sign the medication is starting to work so I'm keeping everything crossed.
Anxiety and depression are just horrendous and I wouldn't wish it on anybody.
Clare xx
GodsServant clare2729
Posted
So tonight instead of planning to go to sleep, plan to stay awake.
Yes, you are going to schedule TONITE to see if you can stay awake ALL night tonight or stay awake as long as possible WITHOUT closing your eyes. Yes, instead of preparing for sleep I want you to prepare with the goal of not shutting your eyes all night. I want you to REALLY try to stay awake. Get lots of books, magazines, reading materials, computer games (I play WordBrain and it helps!),TV, etc. by your bedside and get comfortable, but again, REALLY try to see if you can stay awake all night without closing your eyes.
At my worst I was so angry at this INSOMNIA OCD anxiety depression and I punched the pillows and said BLAH! FINE, if I can’t get good sleep, gonna try to stay awake all night!! See if I can do it.
Just please try this and let me know how it goes. But again, you have to really try to stay awake.
amy97770 GodsServant
Posted
That works for me to! I'm going to stay awake to watch this really trashy, but highly important, TV programme....zzzzzzz...
amy97770 clare2729
Posted
Hi Clare,
I'm really glad your appetite has come back, I've been able to eat some cereal and two slices of my hubby's pizza! Last night it was a yoghurt so wahoo!
Literally only able to drink water and tea and force down fruit and the odd belvita biscuits dunked in a cuppa and that was honestly hard work.
You're totally right that depression and anxiety are horrendous. They REALLY are awful and I'm very blessed that I know a few people (including my mom) who has been through it and keeps reassuring me it will pass!
You sound like a really strong lady, especially the fact you've said you wanted to do it on your own without the tablets. That is naturally how I am, extremely independant, work from home as Company Secretary for small company, do the majority of stuff with kids too like getting ready for school and I see help as meaning I've lost control.
Well I will NEVER think like that again with how horrendous I felt earlier today, panic attacks all day, pure despair constantly until mid afternoon, from 5 am until 2pm it was like one long panicky mess!
I think we can be our own worse enemies when we feel the need to do it all.
I too have the constant ocd thoughts and mine pinpointed today on repeat when Dr asked me if I'd had any "dark thoughts' and I thought yes I have but they've panicked me and then I was obsessed that dark thoughts would drive me mad and I panicked again! That's the tablets I believe that heighten the ocd, anxiety and depression whilst they start to work!
I've put my hands in the air today and said "I'm poorly!" Just like if I had broke my leg, I couldn't keep juggling all the balls I'd have to stop and that is making me feel better, realising I can't do it all and we are all here to help each other always!
Don't be hard on yourself saying you should be in the moment, rather than worry about the future. I preach mindfulness but I clearly haven't been doing it at all really! I find it hard to be mindful in a panic attack too as I feel so awful...just need to keep thinking it isn't permanent!
My sleep has been affected and I've been worried about going to bed too. That will pass though! I could usually sleep for England!
We are all here for each other! Hope you're feeling better soon...and you will honest!
clare2729 amy97770
Posted
So sorry you've had such a horrible day. Did things improve? Sometimes you feel better if only for a short time by admitting to yourself that you aren't very well and that you need help! Things got so bad for me that I had to ask the children's dad to have them as I just didn't want them see me like this! To be fair to him he was really understanding because he's suffered himself in the past. If there's one thing positive to come out of this it's that I know now I can ask him for help! I would NEVER have done that in the past and we've been split up 11 years! Is your husband supportive?
I totally know I can't do this without medication as coming off it is what's caused the issue in the first place. It's weird because I don't mind taking tablets to get the chemical levels right in my brain but I'm really scared of relying on tablets to help me sleep! I just want to be able to get into bed and drift off but no matter how tired I feel when I get into bed, as soon as I try to sleep I'm wide awake again! So frustrating.
I get exactly what you mean about panicking about the dark thoughts! I keep feeling ok and then getting anxious about feeling anxious again! It's a vicious circle!!!!!
How long has it taken for the medication to kick in in the past? What dose are you on?
Clare xx
amy97770 clare2729
Posted
Hi Clare,
I'm on 50 mg and found it takes a good few weeks to kick in, up to a month or so. Everyone usually says about a month or more, my Dr yesterday on the phone said about 6- 8 weeks.
I've woken up this morning 5am, really anxious, sweaty palms, heart racing and feeling awful. Same thing happened yesterday! Must be the way the tablets work. I then seem to be okay late afternoon into the evening and slept well last night.
Your sleep will come back don't worry! I know it's hard at the time to think so. Like you I'm happy with the sertraline, but feel a bit silly the thought of having a diazepam 3 times a day to calm me down! Haven't started that yet...may take one after the way I feel now I've woken up.
I keep imagining I've broken my leg....I couldn't do all the things I would normally do because I need to rest and heal and that's exactly what we need to do...just without the plaster!
My hubby is very supportive thankfully, he hasn't ever suffered with it- thank god- but is great with me and can see how rough I feel.
Well done for asking your children's dad to have them, you will need time to recover and heal and I'm glad he's very understanding of your needs right now.
It's amazing when you start speaking to people how many people have had anxiety/depression and are still on meds for it! Sertraline a very common one too!
Keep posting....we're all here to help each other through this naff time ;-)