Sertraline increased anxiety

You can do this. It's so hard, especially with the increase in anxiousness & low mood. i just try to think time passes anyway & without the meds my chances of fully recovering are less. I tried for 6 months without meds, i took up running, clean eating, vitamins, 5HTP, yoga, mindfulness the lot but it never went away fully. i think I'm just someone who has a chemical imbalance? So i have to keep at this bloody rollercoaster & just hold on tight & hope that eventually it levels off.

i feel your pain i really do. Keep going though if you can, you can do it. take care.

thank you for replying and support. sounds like you are going through something pretty similar at the moment yourself?

what meds you on and how are you feeling?

no worries, i hate the thought of someone suffering & reaching out without getting a reply.

i was on citalopram for about 4.5 years after my youngest son was born. Back then i suffered with depression & i just took the pills & in 4 weeks felt better. i had no start up side effects or anything. Then in my infinite wisdom ( note the sarcasm here 😮) )i decided last August to come off them. i thought i was doing well then in November i noticed my heart was racing a bit but i wasnt too concerned, then i started getting psoriasis ... again not too concerned... then January hit & bam!! Started feeling really anxious & low so i decided to retake the citalopram as i had some left & then i ended up having full blown anxiety, panic attacks, racing heart, skin burning, couldnt eat, couldnt sleep, just awful. Went to A&E and the doctor told me it was the citalopram & to stop taking it. He gave me some diazepam, zopiclone & propanolol, a 2 week supply & sent me on my merry way. but the anxiety never went away & i had to stop the diazepam & zopiclone after 2 weeks but i did carry on with the betablockers, plus I was adamant that ssris were not the way to go as the a&e doctor put me off. So I thought i'd do it naturally. i managed a bit but not back to where i shouldve been so in May i realised i needed proper pills, so i went back to the Gp who said i should give Sertraline a go instead. I'm now on week 9, however I upped to 75mg after 4 weeks as per GP's instruction & then 100mg 2weeks ago again as per Gp instructions. I've had some really good days & some awful days bit mostly still just feeling anxious. Side effects wise I currently have tinnitus & muscle twitches, poor appetite & increased low mood & anxiety. Probably (after doing some reading) its because of all the bloody dose increases! as annoyingly from what i've now read i should've stuck it out on 50mg. But you live & learn i guess.

what about you? is this your first AD?

Sorry for the essay! 😮)

dont worry 😁 it's nice to have an in depth reply. and thank you for replying x same here with the citalopram it worked for about 4 years for me and just seemed to poop out. I could feel myself getting lower and one day I just crashed and never felt so low in my life. so my doc tried to introduce me to mirtazipine alongside the citalopram and I was on them for 12 weeks. I just seemed to be getting worse and worse so we got rid of the mirtazipine and upped my citalopram to 40mg for 12 weeks. I made a little improvement but crashed again so I had to drop back down to 20mg of citalopram for 2 weeks then switch to sertraline.

its so hard to tell what to do because the docs say a few weeks and you'll be back to normal and everyone on here says a hella lot longer.

it's only been two weeks since your increase and it's like starting the clock again apparently for your body to adjust.

so hopefully you will start to improve soon

I dont know what's worse sometimes the low mood or the anxiety.

I have beta blockers too but find they make my mood lower. I only take 10mg and dont seem to hel. what dose do you take?

thank you again for replying I really appreciate it. it's nice to know you are not alone sometimes. x

are you gonna stay on your dose longer?

now I'm sorry for the essay lol

i know its so bloody confusing trying to decide what to do?!?! The GP doesn't really give me much guidance, in fact he seemed shocked when at 4 weeks I said i still had anxiety which of course made me more anxious.

Sounds like you've been on a hell of a journey too, I'm sorry you're having to go through all this.

My depression rarely shows itself at the mo as the anxiety seems to dominate, but as soon as the anxiety dips, up comes the depression, like yesterday I felt so bleak 😦

It's so hard all of this.. I've been having CBT too alongside everything else which does help. I had to go private as the wait on the NHS ( I'm in the UK btw ) was 8 weeks.

I was on 20mg x 3 a day of propanolol but stopped it a few months ago as like you i didn't feel it was really doing much for me.

My plan now is to stay where I am dose wise & try to ride it out for the 12 weeks.

You're definitely not alone, this affects so many people & until you've had it I don't think you ever understand how debilitating it is which is why it's nice to connect to others going through the same.

I hate that moment when you wake up from the escape that is sleep & the rollercoaster of dread & panic starts again. I feel exhausted from it all. Plus with 3 kids i need to get better asap for them.

We can do this & hopefully in a few months will be back to ourselves giving others hope!

from what most people say on here and my own experience Gps dont really know what they are talking about which is actually quite anxiety inducing because when you are feeling scared you want a bit of reassurance from a professional to tell you everything will be fine.

it's exactly the same here! as soon as my anxiety drops the depression seems to show itself. and it's like trading one poison for another.

I have diazipam but makes my mood lower so it's difficult.

I know exactly what you are going through and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy so I really do feel for you x

same here gonna stick to my dose for as long as possible and hope it works.

the shaking and anxiety in the morning is horrific isnt it, sets you up for the whole day.

I struggle with having my son on my own sometimes and the guilt is unbelievable so it must be difficult having 3!

we will get their one day at a time but we have to keep trooping on x thank you for your support its comforting knowing you arent alone isn't it x

what helps you take your mind off things?

i forgot to ask how you are getting on with cbt? I'm finding it ok but it's still early days. it's nice to have ways to try and cope though x

I've been having CBT/therapy since February. It definitely helps. I also try & use mindfulness techniques, such as staying in the moment. I tried to do the whole visualisation of thoughts as clouds or leaves in a stream floating past me but have never been able to manage that tbh but i know for some that works. The only thing for me that works is to say STOP! It doesn't stop the thoughts popping in but it stops me getting too wrapped up in them. Also not trying to push the thought away, as if you tell yourself not to think something, it then becomes all you can think about. So for me allowing it to pop in but by saying stop & not following the thought down the dark spiral helps. I think thats where meditation has helped as I can sometimes redirect my brain. Also recognising the types of thoughts that I get eg catastrophising etc

I try to keep busy, be around people, or binge watch box sets to keep my mind occupied. For me it's the physical side of anxiety i hate, that constant nervous feeling in your chest is just arrrrrgghh. Then that triggers the thoughts 😦

I have low self esteem & tend to put other peoples needs first so that doesn't help. I feel guilty too re my kids, they're well looked after I just wish they had their fun mum back.

How are you doing today?

I don't know if you have facebook but theres a good support group called Positive Zoloft Support Group, i've only been on it a few days but it seems pretty good so far.

Hope you have a good day!

thank you x I've tried mindfulness and stuff but I think I'm a little too poorly atm to be able to concentrate long enough I'm going to keep trying though.

when you try not to think about it or makes it a lot harder not too so you are definitely right.

my partner helps out a lot but I can see it's taking a toll on her even though she doesnt say and that makes me feel worse x

the morning anxiety is so hard to deal with it controls me completely. I'm finding it hard to concentrate but try and watch box sets and programs but I cant sit still at all at the minute so it's tough.

can I ask what your negative thoughts are? if you dont want to say I understand

mine are about me never getting better

and being stuck like this forever and it brings me to tears when the thoughts pop in my head.

how are you doing today? any better?

today is hard for me and just want it stop and get better.

if the diazapem makes your mood low why dont you try a different benzo .just like all ssri are not created equal same goes for benzos.

My negative thoughts are the same as yours; I'll never get better, I'm stuck like this, the pills won't work, how much longer, I'll never live happily again, I'm letting everyone down.... you know how it goes.

Still the same today, anxious & fed up 😦 But digging deep to not let it consume me.

Although just so you know i have had some really good days in the 9 weeks on Sertraline. Week 2-3 was good, almost back to normal, i thought I'd cracked it but then hit a blip & panicked so GP upped the dose. Week 6-8 were pretty good too, in fact after upping to 100mg i felt awesome, motivated, confident, its just this last week or so its all coming back again probably because of the dose increases, the body is still trying to level out, well thats what I'm hoping anyway.

I think you are pretty spot on about it leveling out. it's like resetting the clock when you change dose so hopefully it will settle again soon and the hard days will become less and less.

in my opinion, I'm far from an expert lol but i think they are working for you and you will be fine it's just the dose change that's messing with you so that's good news!

blips are the worst arent they, really knock your confidence but they do pass. it's just hard to pull through a blip when your brain tells you they arent working isnt it

so we are both having the same negative thoughts so that's a good thing right? because that just shows us it's the anxiety and the tablets that's making us feel like that.

digging deep is hard to do but it will be worth it in the long run.

I never thought about it that way but yes, if we're both thinking the same thing it must be our anxiety. Thats kind of comforting in a way, makes me feel less crazy 😃

Besides increased anxiety have you got other side effects?

So are you on day 5 now?

i posted earlier about the good weeks to give you some hope, I hope it helped a bit.

Did you have to wean right off the citalopram or just make the switch? That must have been a hard decision.

I hope the afternoon has been better for you.

it is comforting in a strange kind of way isnt it lol x

dont worry we both must be crazy then 😅

so far I havnt really noticed many other side effects I'm a little more tired and feel a bit sick occasionally but feeling sick could also be the anxiety too. its mainly the mood dropping and the anxiety.

fast heart rate too but that could also be the anxiety aswel it's hard to tell.

what about you side effects wise?

yeah on day 5 today and it's been a tough one but reading your message about good days did make me feel more calm and positive so thank you. hopefully it's something to look forward too.

I had to drop my citalopram to 20mg for a week from 40mg and I felt really good so didnt start the sertraline when i was meant too........stupid me! then i crashed really bad one evening and panicked so stopped the citalopram and started sertraline the next day 50mg.

i was terrified about withdrawls and side effects, still am tbh.

hope you are feeling a little better this afternoon any change you've noticed yet?

thank you for your reply x 😁

I know its hard to ascertain what's the meds and what's our own anxiety. Start up on the 50 was definitely the hardest, the 2 increases to 75 & then 100 were much easier. I had sickness, lack of appetite, dry mouth, sweaty hands, night sweats, vivid dreams, ear ringing, muscle twitches, increased anxiety which makes my skin feel like it's on fire & racing heart. But some of that was definitely my own anxiety. By day 10/11 on 50mg was when the side effects dropped dramatically and day 14 was the day i realised i felt calm/normal so fingers crossed you're half way there.

This afternoon has been a little better just sat with my middle one watching a film while my eldest is out & my youngest is at my in laws. My youngest is Autistic & is a little ball of hyper energy so my father in law takes him out for a walk if i need a bit of peace & quiet.

when you satrted the sert.where you having withdrals from any other med?just curious

wow that's a long list of side effects to have to deal with. hopefully they weren't too bothersome for you. did you find them hard to deal with?

I'm pretty lucky in that aspect that I haven't noticed too many side effects thank God. apparently lots of side effects is a good sign the tablets will work for you. if that's the case I wouldn't mind some more side effects lol

aww that's so sweet x how old is your youngest? my son is going through honey lands atm because they think he might be autistic too. crazy isnt it x

that's good that your afternoon hasn't been too bad.

my day has been a bit difficult but that's to be expected so early on. havnt managed to eat today but only feel hungry in the evenings but just barely.

your appetite back to normal yet?

no, I had been on Citalopram for 4.5 years until August last year, then had about 3 days worth in January but nothing since. I actually asked for Citalopram back in May but the GP said to try Sertraline so here I am.

It's definitely a roller coaster & wish I'd found this forum sooner as I would've stuck it out on 50mg rather than upping as the GP advised. So total time on Sertraline 9 weeks but on last increase only 2.5 weeks so everything is very up & down.

Are you on Sertraline Lois?

no claire .iam on celexa 10mill.and fully recover.iam just chiming in on my butty potatoghost.his been going thru alot.best regards.ps.i would never let curiosity take a hold of me and come off my celexa .i feel lovely becuase of the celexa.so till death do me and celexa apart.lol

I don't blame you... if Sertraline works I will stay on it as long as it works. Especially as I was stable on Citalopram but thought I could manage alone... clearly not... worst 6/7 months of my life. I now fully accept I need help.

That's so lovely you're checking in your buddy, I think it's lovely that you've come out the otherside & are supporting others. Hopefully I will too once I'm through this.

praying for the folks on here going thru this process.

I was absolutely petrified of the side effects but found once I started the pills i just knew I had to ride it out. It was hard but I felt I had run out of other options so it has to be done. Don't get me wrong I've feel deflated, it's got me down & I've had crying spells too over it all. I've wanted to quit & all sorts.

I think with all you've been through you're doing so well. The strength of people that go through this amazes me.

My kids are 14, 10 & 6. My youngest was diagnosed as Autistic at 2 years old, he's so wonderful & a very special little soul. How old is your little one?

My appetite is ok at the moment, that improved first. Although now even when I'm bad I always try to make sure I eat something & drink plenty as I didnt back when all this started & I felt so weak. It is hard though, forcing down food.

❤❤❤

forcing down food is incredibly tough isnt it? especially feeling like you do.

I think atm its other people keeping me going if I'm completely honest.

and I definitely dont feel strong at all.

technically you are only on 2.5 weeks of your dose so that's good in a way because you should just keep improving! I really hope you do x

just gotta keep taking them and crack on haven't we x blips are pretty normal so if you feel like you are dipping dont panick it will pass x

awww i bet he is a lovely little man isnt he? bless him.

my son is just coming up to 5 now hes such a little character x I just love him for who he is so I dont mind if he is.

oh my god yes! Trying to swallow the food was awful, especially with a dry mouth as a side effect. I lived on soup & bread ... once this is over I don't think I'll ever want to see a can of Heinz soup again ... lol.

Yes my little man is amazing! He goes to a specialist school for children in the spectrum & it's wonderful! we're lucky where we live as we've had amazing support & professional input. If you ever have any questions or if i can give guidance just let me know.

You are strong, all you've been through & you're not giving up & are still helping others.

I like the saying " just remember so far you've survived 100% of your hardest days".

I hope your day goes ok & you managed to get some sleep.

(i hope this picture posts as it makes me lol!)

thank you yeah that picture did make me chuckle so thank you lol x

today I feel like giving up I've never felt this bad before. my anxiety is crazy high today and it's making it pretty hard to function x sorry for the short reply it's hard to think today x

no need to apologise for the short reply, i completely get it, been there many times myself. I just thought I'd check in to see how you were doing. I'm sorry today is so hard for you, anxiety truly does suck!!

Look after yourself & be kind to yourself.

Take care.

thank you claire I really do appreciate it x you are really sweet. hope you are feeling a bit better today yourself.

how are you today? Is it day 7?

just checking in but don't reply if you're not up to it.

hey claire it is dsy 7 x thanks for checking in.

how are you today?

struggling today with the adrenaline rush feelings, they suck and really knock me back. are they a side effect do you know? x

I'm doing ok today, yesterday wasn't too bad either so just trying to make the most if it. although do you find that when you feel okay it’s almost like your brain starts thinking about the anxiety even more, just waiting for it to pop up. Almost like you can never fully relax? And your mind keeps popping back to it?

Just had a look at the diary I kept & it stopped for me on day 12, i've still felt that anxious feeling in my chest but no panic attacks or burning skin.

keeping a diary is a really good idea actually. keeping track of stuff seems sensible. I might do that x

you will feel like that until you have been feeling well for a lot longer and you improve.

when I recovered the first time I remember constantly worrying that I would always be thinking about the anxiety. once i started having good weeks at a time rather than just days ,honestly I forget about it completely.

it passed over time so dont worry it will pass for you too the more you improve. soon you'll think about it and realise it's been a week since you thought about your anxiety last, then 2 weeks, and so on.

thank you claire x this journey is super rough isnt it?

if I'm lying down I dont feel too bad but know I cant constantly be sat on my arse lol x

I find the diary really helpful, I did it so that if i increased dose I could see roughly what to expect 😃

Thats good to hear that in time those thoughts vanish, I never suffered with anxiety like this so that side of things with taking meds is all new to me. Depression I know well but anxiety is a whole different ball game.

This journey is bloody horrendous, I agree, it's like being stuck in a hell you can't escape from as its your own body & mind.

I stayed in bed for nearly 2 weeks when i started the pills, it was the only place I felt safe. I watched so many boxsets it was crazy. My family had to help out with the kids, it was not good. And when i increased i spent another 3-4 days in bed. You gotta do what ya gotta do to get by I guess.

that's a good idea then I'm gonna sort out doing a diary to keep track of everything.

a lot of people say they find the depression easier than the anxiety but I find them both as hard as each other tbh x

I completely understand you staying in bed for the first 2 weeks. it does make you feel safe and it's easier to hide sometimes when you feel this crap isnt it.

your tablets will help you forget about the anxiety and thinking about the thoughts it just takes a little bit of time x feeling a bit foggy this evening like I'm not quite with it. it's not too bad but hope it passes soon

anything else that's improved for you that you've noticed?

Both anxiety & depression together is like hell. When this started the anxiety was the problem, but i managed to get it under control a bit then the depression reared its head. It was like a seesaw effect. That was when i knew I needed meds.

Other improvements I've noticed is I don't keep checking my HR on my fitbit quite as much, I got a bit obsessed with that. My HR is coming down now from an average of resting HR 90bpm to 72bpm & it doesn't fluctuate quite so much. The moment I would walked upstairs it would start pounding & jump to 110bpm where normally it would be about 80bpm, I'm a runner usually so going upstairs is not a problem but any adrenaline inducing activity & my heart would over respond, thats calming a bit. I'm sleeping pretty good too, I've always been a good sleeper but since January its been terrible, at one point I didn't sleep more than 2hours a nightif I was lucky, but now I can get 5-7 hours which is huge. I'm a bit more motivated too.

I'm taking all this as positive as I think I read that physical things should improve first & could be a sign that they are working.

Oh God I hope that doesn't sound braggy?!? I'm far from back to normal but looking over my diary I can see these things have changed.

You will get there too, I also looked at it that I've responded to ssri's in the past so there's no reason why I shouldn't now. But tomorrow there could be a dip & then my mental clarity goes out the window 😃 Sunday i felt so hopeless & couldn't stop crying then a few days later it picked up... bloody crazy I am 浪

Hope you slept ok & will have a better day today. And remember be kind to yourself, you're doing the best you can & that's enough.

the fact that your sleep is improving has to be a good sign doesnt it x and your heart rate slowing down too is also good. and dont worry it doesnt sound like you are bragging at all so honestly dont worry.

it's crazy isnt it I'm like that at the minute even walking from room to room my heart rate just seems to go sky high which makes me more anxious.

sleep isnt great I'm still at that stage of waking up panicking a couple of times and bad morning anxiety.

my mood is so low today. I've been crying most of the morning and really struggling to keep on going with the sertraline if I'm honest. im trying my best to hold it together so I can just keep taking them.

did your mood drop when you first started taking them? I cant get out of my head they are making me worse x

Yes my mood dropped massively when I started taking them & I didn't say this the other day to you as I didn't want to frighten you or anyone else just starting but for me days 7,8 & 9 were the worst. In fact on day 7 I was so bad my husband wanted to call an ambulance, in the end I saw my therapist & she calmed me down.

It's so hard knowing what to do isn't it? Wanting it to stop but not having a definitive path. I find it all so confusing, frustrating, annoying... makes me all the more anxious. Sometimes I wanna scream at the pills WORK GOD DAMN IT!

We aren't having our usual holiday to Cornwall this year as I don't want to be that far from home 😦

thank you x it's really sweet that you didnt want to say anything to not scare me. I really appreciate it x it's scary how much my mood has dropped.

can I ask why he wanted to call an ambulance and how bad you were if that's ok?

no worries if you would rather not say.

same here my partner keeps showing me places we can go away too next month and it just makes me so anxious thinking about it but then I feel bad too because she really deserves a break x

your partner ok with you not going away? it's best to wait until you feel ready x dont want to push yourself too soon lovely x

No I don't mind telling you, I was hysterical, I'd had no sleep the night before, I was crying, retching, hyperventilating, mind going a million miles an hour, heart racing, my skin was on fire, my chest was tight it was horrible, I was climbing the walls, just so confused wanted to quit the pill, I just couldn't calm down. It was awful 😦

Yeah he's ok with us not going away, the kids are disappointed as we went to Spain last year so they wanted to go abroad again but I'm scared of flying at the best of times so this year was a complete no go. I would have had a complete melt down.

Although I have said when I'm through this it would be nice to get away.

Do do you think you are getting withdrawal from Citalopram as well? I was on no meds when I started & haven't done a switch before only a straight withdrawal & that was tough enough. Must make it hard to know what's going on.

iam so happy you came clean.because these meds take a toll on us in the Beginning.and for sure potato has withdrawls from the cit.

wow that sounds absolutely horrific. how did you manage to convince yourself to keep going with all that going on?

hopefully it didnt last long and you arent permanently scarred, cuz I would be lol

awww bless them, they will be fine though and will bounce back pretty quickly as kids do, so try not to feel guilty because I'm sure when you are better you would love to get away for a bit and they can go then bless them.

yeah I'm definitely going through withdrawal too which is absolutely terrifying to say the least.

just cant convince myself it will get better as it's just getting harder.

how did your straight withdrawal go? bet that was not easy at all.

It was my therapist that calmed me down & convinced me to keep going. I trust her completely & because she was a mental health nurse & she's seen it all I really value her opinion. She also helped me see by freaking out I was feeding the side effect of increased anxiety more & helped me understand it was just the meds working on my system causing it to do crazy things. I think realising it was the meds helped me to see that it wouldnt be permanent as worse case I could stop.

It wasn't easy but I'd felt so s**t without them I knew how badly I needed them so I felt I had no choice, it was I felt my only option to get better. I'd tried on my own for months and although I was 60% back to myself it wasn't enough 😦

That was definitely my worse day & I've only been like that once after. It definitely frightened me.

First time I took Citalopram I just quit, no problems, cold turkey. Second time it took 6 months of tapering, I felt faint, dizzy, uncoordinated, restless legs & arms, random arm & leg movements, depressed but to be fair from what some people go through I think I got off fairly lightly. I think thats why I was so shocked starting Meds again & going through hell as I'd never seen that side of antidepressants before.

I wish i could tell you what to do to help but I'm pretty clueless really 😃 I just stumble from each day to the next hoping that it will stop & counting down the days & weeks.

You will get there though, nothing lasts forever & you're doing all you can to recover & thats all any of us can do.

when I first started citalopram years ago I didnt get a single side effect and when I increased them last time hoping that would work my side effects were terrible! its mad how the second time round is hell compared to the first.

that's brilliant that you have a therapist. that's always good when you are on meds too. I cant afford one as I was fired a few months ago because of my mental health.......on mental health awareness week too. you gotta laugh!

and docs dont seem to know too much and that's worrying tbh.

ive accepted the fact that I'm having withdrawals for now as scary as it might be.

the dip in mood caught me off guard really that's all. feel slightly better this evening but not much but that's because I'm tired I think

how has today been for you? better I hope lovely x

Same here potato. The meds cant be stopped and you and i did .

That's terrible you got fired because of your mental health, it happened to my friends boyfriend too when he was having a bad time with depression & sertralune withdrawal & citalopram start up ... shocking & disgusting in this day & age.

Yes I'm lucky to have a therapist, the wait in my area for an NHS one was crazy long. I had CBT about 4 years ago over the phone with the NHS but i didnt like the therapist much so it wasn't great.

My day has been ok, I've got a crashing headache & had a few random intrusive thoughts. I tend to get them when I'm not at home, this feeling that i wanna leave where I am, like I'm not safe. I get them all the time when out & about, real fight or flight feeling, usually flight. Then I tend to worry this is the best it's gonna get, but i try to shut them down as best I can.

Hope the rest of your evening has been ok & you get some sleep.

Let us both hope tomorrow is a good day!

hey clairee hope you not too bad today x

it's crazy how much people are still looked at as crazy in this day and age isn't it when suffering from mental health issues.

ibknow how you feel when out and about doing things, it can get tough cant it. especially when the negative thoughts pop into your head. it's really good that you are managing to go out and about even though it's difficult. it will get easier.

its definitely not a case of it's the best you are gonna get, I remember that feeling well from a long time ago and it really worried me at the time but it passed so don't worry. things will improve. it's just a case of coping until it happens.

didnt sleep bad last night but woke up super early and dreading another day of feeling like crap but hopefully it will get easier as the day goes on.......I hope lol

hey!

i always try to do as much as I can & never cancel plans if I can help it, as my therapist says I need to carry on as normal as otherwise you are doing safety behaviours which keep you in the fear cycle loop. Easier said than done when all you want to do is hide & I don't always manage it! When I started this on day 8 I had to run a stall at my little ones school for their summer fair, for 4 hours, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done! My anxiety was through the roof that day & my heart was at 120bpm just sitting, not nice.

Hopefully your day is getting easier as it goes on today. I hate the mornings, it's like you open your eyes & the heart starts racing & the thoughts start up again.... uuuggghhh horrid.

You're so kind to offer me words of support when you're having such a tough time yourself, Thank You! It's funny how strangers can be more supportive than friends sometimes, probably because we all understand what the other is going through.

omg that would have been horrific having to be their for 4 hours! did you feel better after you done it?

shes definitely right about doing things as normal even tough it's tough. sometimes it's so difficult! I make sure I go to the shop atleast once a day and get fresh air.

had some builders working on downstairs flat, I kept making sure to go and offer them cups of tea every hour or so. I felt sick the whole time putting a front on and acting normal but I had to push myself a little.

my son has a party tomorrow and I'm absolutely dreading going with loads of load kids and Judgy parents but I know I have to, for him. it keeps popping in my head and making me feel panicky but it has to be done otherwise like you said, stuck in a circle of anxiety.

honestly dont worry about it😁 what i said was true. it will get better and it will pass, you will see soon that you arent stuck how you are and you will improve, blips are normal too so try not to get down if you have a crap couple of days. it's still early days and the fact you have improved some is good and it will get better as time goes by.

you're right about people on here being more supportive than friends, I havnt seen my friends in 7 months since this all began and not one has even bothered to make sure I'm still alive lol.

hope your having a better day today x

Goodluck today at the kids party, I feel your pain, chaos & clicky parents... eurrgghh! I'm sure you'll be fine once you're there & seeing your little ones face when he's having fun will be worth it.

We're gonna brave Littlehampton for a few hours, it normally ends in chaos but i just love being by the sea, I find it soothing. Luckily its only about an hour away so I can manage that.

How you doing today?

I'm doing ok, not massively relaxed today, partly because when i popped my pills out of the packet (I take 2 x 50mg) one snapped in half, so i thought I'd taken them all but when i went back upstairs a few hours later found half on the floor. I took it but I am now convinced its gonna cause me some issue or another.... crazy I know, my husband was like 'whats the problem you took it' but you know what an anxious mind is like. I suppose he's right, the good thing is I found it otherwise that would've messed around with dosing.

I just pray these pills work, I think they are as I've had some real glimmers of hope, but it's still up & down, I guess this is how it starts though... maybe!? I bloody hope so! Wish I could see myself 6 months from now to finally know.

When this is over I might throw a huge bloomin' party! 😉

Enjoy your day & thanks for listening to me rambling on.

that would be amazing wouldn't it, just popping ahead 6 months just to see if its worked lol x

I always find the build up is more difficult for anxiety so I'm sure that when you actually get their it will be a lot easier than you think, and hopefully you enjoy it. its good that you are trying to go out and about and facing it rather than avoiding it so well done, it's harder than people think

the party wasnt too bad tbh. was a bit shakey at first and felt a bit low but managed to hold it together for the whole thing rather than leaving early as planned so that's something! had a bit of a wobble half way through but ignored it and carried on.

I feel low now but I think that's because it's over and I dont have to pretend now I'm back at home.

it's really good that you are seeing little glimmers of things seeming better, I'm told that's how it will work, a couple of minutes,then an hour,then an evening, a whole day, then a couple of days until you don't feel crap anymore. so I'm sure its gonna be getting better for you now!

its gonna be hard but think positive! so much easier said than done.

dont worry about missing that little half of the tablet, you found it and took it and a few hours really wont make a difference. it's your anxiety that will be telling you something bad will happen.

I've made it a habit of reading peoples posts who have recovered to make myself feel better but I think that has its pros and cons.

what helps you stay a little more positive?

and honestly dont worry about feeling like you are rambling on 😊 because honestly you're not and it's nice to talk with somone who is also struggling when things are this tough x

morning!

How you doing today? Hope you slept ok & the morning hasn't been too bad.

Yesterday was good, nice to be by the sea for a few hours, the kids enjoyed it too & my youngest managed well with all that was going on.

Well done you on braving the party, that's an achievement in itself. Yes, I get anticipatory anxiety badly, mine seems to stem from if I have to do something. If I choose to do something its ok but the moment someone or something is relying on me it makes me anxious that I'll have a bad day that day & not cope or let people down.

I also go through forums & google searches too to find success stories. I think especially as Sertraline was completely new to me, I didnt know what to expect?!? Citalopram I sort of knew but that was more depression. There was a google search I did that brought up this long thread on Mumsnet about Sertraline, I sat one day & read it then would keep re-reading it to keep me occupied & hopeful. It was good at first but then sometimes it becomes demotivating when I see people feeling better after a few weeks & i'm not, so it's a double edged sword really. I also re-read my diary to see improvements that I may have missed as it's helpful. So I try not to look at other peoples time lines so much now as I guess this is my journey & it will take as long as it takes, patience I guess is the key but when you feel like crap it's so hard as I just wanna be better now.

Sometimes I feel like i'm on pause, waiting for all this to pass so I can start my life fully again. It's like anxiety has become my whole life & I dont't know how to get out if that makes sense.

aww that's really good that you went out and done it so you should be proud that you managed to go. for normal people it just seems easy and doesnt get a second thought but for you I can imagine it wasnt easy so well done.

it's good your little one enjoyed himself too bless him.

my evening yesterday wasnt too bad but it all goes out the window in the mornings doesnt it. today has been hard but I've forced myself to go and get a haircut in town because looking like hagrid isnt a good look lol. was hard to make conversation but I survived so that's the main thing.

that's the problem looking through other peoples posts. you find something that makes you feel better and gives you hope but the tiniest little thing can make you feel worse, seeing someone recover before you, like you said. or someone not having success. it makes it hard to look for something that will help just incase .

I've started writing a diary like you said to keep track of things, no improvement yet but that was a good idea so thank you. hopefully I can look back soon and see some.

looking back through yours what improvements have you had?

keep thinking positive! even though the anxiety makes I so difficult to do.

it does make sense and completely feel the same way as you. I've got my fingers crossed that you turn a corner real soon x

Looking back over the diary I can see sleep has improved, I can see that I've had more motivated days than I have in ages, my heart has stopped pounding if I wake in the night, and I've been up & about more.

Hopefully we'll both be better soon, it'd be good to put all this in the past & just live without everything turning into a huge test of perseverance & courage.

Well done on getting out today, that's an achievement in my eyes. I couldn't face it today so I have binged watched Killing Eve. Will try & do something tomorrow.

Do you have a follow up with your GP? I'm too scared to go back to mine just yet as he makes me nervous as he doesnt really give any direction & seemed most surprised I wasnt cured after 3 weeks, so he makes me anxious instead of feeling reassured.

my GP made me feel exactly the same! he said something I wont repeat because it made me feel like I wont get better and that was horrible to hear when so vulnerable. no harm in making an appointment to see a different gp, ask if any of them work more with mental health, that's what I was told to do by the receptionist.

I feel trust is important when you are feeling like you are and sounds like he is a bit of a Dum Dum lol

Gps have a standard book about standard recovery when it comes to antidepressants, they follow the guidelines and everyone is so different in recovery so some might get better quicker, but not all.

that's a really good sign that you are improving already. it means they are starting to work for you so over the next few weeks you should be feeling even better!

dont be too hard on yourself, getting out is important but rest is too and if you felt like staying in then that's ok, you wouldn't second guess having a lazy day if you didnt have anxiety so I say go for it.

and killing eve is pretty good. I'm only 5 episodes in but have to wait for my partner to catch up 🙄 lol

my follow up isnt for 4 weeks to see if I need an increase. dreading going in because of the same thing as what you said.

thanks for that Potato, I needed to hear that & you're so right, before all this if I was feeling a bit unmotivated I wouldn't have batted an eye, but now I analyze everything. I see it as slipping backwards.

I'm glad it's not just me who has a GP that comes out with anxiety inducing comments. I did see the Doctor who specialises in MH, when I saw him first he seemed great, helpful & gave good guidance, but when I went back after 11 days saying my anxiety had gone sky high he looked puzzled & surprised I that my anxiety had increased & didn't feel any improvement?!? He looked at me and asked what did I want to do? Continue or stop? Which at 11 days was surely too early to tell. He did the same thing when I went back at 3 weeks. So now I don't trust him.

Killing Eve is good, it certainly distracts me. I've binged so many boxsets, Handmaids Tale, Chernobyl, Buffy, Big Bang Theory, The Inbetweeners to name a few 😉 Thank God for Netflix & Amazon Prime.

I would probably go and see a different gp next time you go. because the last thing you need is to feel anxious when you see them. I'm surprised your gp thought it would work so quickly tbh. and putting yourself in that situation when you feel crap isnt good att all

you want to come away feeling s bit more confident that your gp knows what they are talking about.

you are gonna have days like that if you are feeling normal or feeling anxious so dont worry x its important you look after yourself too.

when you start to feel better your motivation will improve too x

hope today isnt too bad for you x

I have my son today so feeling a bit more anxious but I'm sure he will keep me very busy lol.

thanks! I think you're right, I'll ask to see someone else next time I go.

i'm ok today, not my best but not my worst either. I think the timing of all this has been so poor as it's now the summer holidays which throws everything off schedule.

How are you feeling? Are you getting any moments of respite?

If this anxious feeling in my chest would bugger off I'd feel so much better.

Have a nice day with your little one 😃 They can be an excellent distraction from thoughts. I've just got my older 2 today so that helps a lot as my youngest is a little fire cracker & needs constant supervision which can be tiring at times but he's in his schools summer club today.

awwww bless him I can imagine hes a little fire cracker lol. hopefully he has fun at his club.

my little one has been good as gold today, took him to the park and it made me want to throw up but I managed to do it so that's a start I guess x

the timing really doesn't help does it lol it'll be nice when school starts again and you can have a bit of a break but by the time that happens you will be a lot better I reckon.

oh God I know exactly how you feel with that anxious feeling, it's always their isn't it and it's just a constant reminder that you feel poo.

it feels like someone is sitting on your chest! is that what it feels like for you?

sorry to hear you're not having a great day x it's good it's not your worst but it still sets you back doesn't it?

a lot of people say 2 steps forward, 1 step back and so on until you feel better.

sometimes it feels like 50 steps back but as long as you keep going forward you will get better, it would just be great if they worked instantly wouldn't it!

I'm getting moments when I feel a little less anxious or down but nothing like normal yet.

then you have a blip and it sucks but it's hard to tell so keeping this diary is a good idea. thanks for asking that's really sweet.

Hi Clairee, I have anticipatory anxiety and it sounds very similar to yours. When there are expectations on me I feel anxious I will let people down. Did you find that Sertraline helped you? Is there anything else you have found helpful?

hey x I'm not sure if claire comes on here any more but she is doing a lot better than she was x I would say that sertraline definitely helped her a lot from what I know x she is wonderful so hopefully she will reply to you if she is still on here x

i think the build up of antanticipatory anxiety is always worse than the actual event. if you can try to push through. if you cant don't worry about letting anyone down x it takes time to heal x do what you feel you can cope with. that's the important thing x

Thanks for the reply Potatoghost! (I like the name)

I agree that the anticipatory anxiety is always worse than the actual event, I just sometimes find that it is quite debilitating and makes me feel really tired and sometimes depressed.

Thanks,

Ned

Hi Ed,

sorry i didnt reply sooner i tend to avoid the forums a little bit, as sometimes i will do that thing where you read something and it sets me off on one.

I'm doing so much better than before, not 100% but well enough to function, probably 80-90% back to me.

Yes the Sertraline has helped with the anticipatory anxiety. I'm very careful with what i choose to do as I'm a bit of a people pleaser so before I would agree to things that i didnt want to do then feel awful. where as now i really think about if i want to do something before committing.

Unfortunately though there are things we have to do & that used to really make me anxious but now i dont do that so much, well no more than anybody else. CBT has helped with it a lot too.

Are you on Sertraline?

x

Hi Claire, thanks for your reply, glad to hear you are doing much better. How long have you been taking Sertraline now?

Yes I started Sertraline about three weeks ago. Before that I was on a low dose of Venlafaxine for about 10 years. Tried Mirtazapine for three weeks in between but it didn't really help my anxiety.

Good idea to think carefully before committing. I am the same as you and will agree to do something without thinking.

thanks again for your reply

Ed