Sertraline & Post Sepsis Syndrome

I have suffered with Anxiety and Depression since I was 18 and I have always managed to find my way back. At the time I took fluoxetine .

Over the years, I have battled on and off but this time seems to feel harder in some ways.

For a few years I have been taking sertraline 200mg and it took a while, but I started to feel better. So, went down to 150mg.

In November I ended up in Hospital with Kidney Stones and had to have surgery and a stent put in. When the stent was removed, I was sent home, even though I felt even worse.

I felt like the Hospital and and NHS 24 weren't helping me. I had a high fever, pain in my left side under my ribs and all the way along my lower back. I cried myself to sleep from the pain and i kept being sick and hallucinating.

On the third day, I said to my Mum I couldn't cope and wanted to die as it was too painful. My Husband and Mum refused to listen to NHS 24 and sent me to A & E again. So glad they did, otherwise I may have died. Turns out I had Sepsis and it was bad. I had drip after drip of Antibiotics and after days in Hospital went home. Still had the infection however the markers had gone down so just needed to continue with Antibiotics and pain meds. Only problem is they never gave me any.

Thank God for my GP, they provided me with meds and helped me to overcome this part.

I didnt know months later I would still be going through this. They call it Post Sepsis Syndrome. The lack of energy and strength and constant tiredness as well as Insomnia and bleeding whilst passing urine. Some days I couldn't and still can't even walk well. I knew i was starting to feel low because every task that was easy for me became so hard. Trying to do house work after work, dancing, socialising. I started to really go into myself, which is the complete opposite of who I am.

After 5 months I started to find my pattern and some days or hours I would feel a little better and I would make the most of this. I had been doing so well at work and even though pain came and went constantly I managed. Until last week, I was in agony and could barely walk and had a Kidney infection. The GP provided strong antibiotics and this eased the pain but I noticed that I am still nauseas and have the shakes and shivers. Sunday I also experienced negative thoughts after a long time of not having them this bad.

Since then I find it hard to eat and sleep and my mind keeps going in a loop. When trying to sleep my anxiety kicks in and all the stuff from before comes in mind or random things almost like watching a tv scene unfold in my mind. I have always said it and I will say it again, If only I had a pause button for thoughts.

I have now decided that before this gets any worse, I will fight it. Writing down my every day experience and taking my tablets and speaking up to those around me like my Family, Friends and a Counsellor. I just need to keep going.....

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