Sertraline / Relationship anxiety
Posted , 2 users are following.
Hi everyone.
I have been on Sertraline since 2016. I went on them as I found myself anxsting and upset a lot of the time for no good reason. since then i have constantly taken them and probably should have weened myself off them. over the last year and half we decided to put out flat on the market and move further down south to be closer to parents and family. Any way, to help with the financials of moving me and my other half did side jobs like working in retail and warehouse stuff.
towards the end, when we were moving and stopped doing these side jobs, i started feeling really deflated about life and this relationship anxiety crept in. 'do i love him', 'what is love'. over time i started focusing on mannerism about how he held himself and say certains words. As i write this i feel ridiculous saying it.
we have now moved into our house and i have struggled adapting to the new (old area i used to live as a teen, now in 30's) as i miss friends and local places. the relationship anxiety got awful and would get into full panic mode. i went to the doctor and increased my sertraline to 100mg about 6 weeks ago, this has massively helped and stopped the intrusive thoughts, but the last week i seemed to have taken a turn backwards and assessing my partners mannerisms again.
He is THE most kind and caring person, he would do anything for me and us as a team. He has drive and enjoys cooking! which i hate, so works well! I think maybe I take things for granted a bit and maybe the excitement of a new relationship isn't there. I also can't bare the fact that I am ever so slightly bigger than him and it bothers me with my weight. No one else would even realise or have a seconds thought it! I don't want to leave him because I do love our life, I just can't get past certain mannerism, the poor man has listened to me about what my issues are with him and he just thinks its something that will fade but he saying he not going to change and ultimately its something i need to figure out. This is true. I can only do for myself.
I suppose what I'm asking is that I am 6 weeks in to a Sertraline increase, will these thoughts fade away. I do really enjoy time by myself and crave it at times, because we both wfh and spend most of the day in the same house, i think maybe this could be playing a part too.
if you've got this far.... thanks for reading and any advice would be helpful x
0 likes, 5 replies
claire2601
Posted
would just like to add that i compare myself and our relationship to others and that seems to just take over
james71711 claire2601
Posted
Hi Claire
A lot of what you said resonated with me - I've been through 'moving away' within the last few years, I've spent a lot of time in the house with my partner working from home and I've asked myself questions about whether my partner is really right for me. Uncanny really.
All I'd say is that personally, I tend to invent or exaggerate problems when I am not well mentally. If you woke up tomorrow feeling great, I suspect you might feel more positive about your partner and your situation. Be careful not to let anxiety/depression cloud your judgement. If your 'rational' brain is telling you that you have got what you need to be happy, that's probably your truth.
I don't know you and don't know what changes are feasible for you but personally I started going into the office more and the change of scenery day-to-day helped me, and made me actually look forward to seeing my partner when I got home as opposed to feeling grumpy and irritated seeing her around the house all day every day (sounds bad but thats how it felt).
It sounds like you are perhaps a bit isolated as well and you'd benefit from doing something to see friends/family more. Or even meet some new people where you now live. That helped me.
I can't comment on whether your partner is right for you but I think its normal for you to feel irritable or whatever towards your partner given your combination of circumstances - being isolated away from other friends/family and living on top of each other... Anxiety and depression lie to you and are very good at convincing you that you have big fundamental problems in your life when you actually don't.
The increase in sertraline is likely to be playing a small part too I guess... it might take some time to settle. I'd suggest first trying to make some changes to avoid isolation from friends/too much time in the house with partner and generally give it some time
claire2601 james71711
Posted
thanks so so much James!
this bit you said:
If you woke up tomorrow feeling great, I suspect you might feel more positive about your partner and your situation. Be careful not to let anxiety/depression cloud your judgement. If your 'rational' brain is telling you that you have got what you need to be happy, that's probably your truth.
is absolutely true. when i am on top form. it doesn't matter anymore. i think this wave has consumed me and i have fixated onto an issue that doesn't have truth in it. im off to see a mental health doctor on friday to see what they say about the tablets ect. My office is in the US and im UK so a bit stuck on that front. i have started up some exersize classes and that helps too.
thanks for responding! try and take your advice too as it very good!
jan34534 claire2601
Edited
please realize that no matter who you’re in a relationship with, you are always going to find some thing that bugs you a little bit. Nobody is perfect. It’s really hard to find somebody that you really get along with and for the most part enjoy spending time with. don’t compare your relationship with others. You never know what’s going on in somebody else’s relationship. It might seem like it’s perfect but it’s not. No relationship is perfect. It’s a waste of time to compare yourself with others. Just find joy in your own life and in your relationship. Maybe you could spend time joining something to get out a little bit. I go to a exercise class twice a week, play pickle ball, and have a ladies coffee group. There’s nothing wrong with you having your own activities.
I also tend to overthink things, but I can tell you our thoughts can be our worst enemy. Think positive, be grateful, and enjoy your life.
claire2601
Posted
thanks Jan
yes you are so right!
thank you!