Set back day....
Posted , 7 users are following.
Me again. I had a couple of reasonably decent days. Then didn't sleep well last night. (Sleep seems to keep a lot of stuff at bay) I managed a small walk around the neighborhood this morning. Stayed out of bed for a few hours and went on a couple of small car rides with the hubby. (Sound like a puppy that needed an outing). But today hasn't been good. I have managed to eat. (I have put on almost 2 pounds over the last couple of days). The thing that has me today is anxiety. It won't loosen it's grip at all. I can't seem to sit still. Everything on TV is making me anxious. So while things seem to be improving some I am loaded down with this crippling anxiety. I even took a little bit of my Ativan which helps for a bit but I don't want to get too used to it because I need it to sleep right now. And because my anxiety is through the roof I ended up making my husband spoon me in the dark while I cried because I am scared that the bad days are coming again. So......GO TEAM MONO!
Hope ALL of you are having better days!!!!! From the bottom of my heart. *virtual hugs and spooning*
1 like, 15 replies
kikisan Guest
Posted
Virtual hug to you Wendi!.......I have the anxiety too - I feel possessed!....this has to end, right? I managed to go to brunch at a friend's place and be a normal person for 3 hours...yay!...baby steps.
I am taking Ativan and Imovane for sleep....I was nature girl for the past 48 years (never taking anything except Advil maybe once a year).....but now I think I need it so that my body has any chance of healing and fighting off this nastiness!
Happy hugging and spooning
Kiki
craig07920 Guest
Posted
Hi Wendi,
The anxiety and terrible low emotions are awful to deal with, I have been going through it myself for my own circumstances with my back and everything at the moment. It's awful when you feel like you can't help or control your circumstances or emotions. I'm glad you have a supportive husband, that means so much, it helps a lot just to have someone to talk to and to reassure you in those hard times.
Just want to reassure you also Wendi that mono does pass over with time - it doesn't feel like it when going through it and is hard to take any comfort from that when experiencing such suffering and pain every day, but this is the worst part right now and you will get through it Wendi one day at a time and you will feel better again and life will feel much easier to live again. Thinking about you and just remember you are going to get better!! Tell yourself that every day.
Craig
rhonda21886 Guest
Posted
Wendi I feel the anxiety we experience with this virus is may be greater than the physical symptoms!
I couldn't shake the feeling that something dreadful was about to happen to me or my family. What would I do Then? Believing and remembering that fear is a Liar I found solace in knowing that Jesus was no stranger to suffering and would never leave me nor forsake me.
I am a retired healthcare professional and became very frustrated with physicians. It seemed they were more than qualified and ready to diagnose me with anxiety and give me a pill for it . They also felt sure the anxiety was producing my physical symptoms. I was sure they were wrong!!!! I knew my physical symptoms were a great contributing factor of my anxiety!!!
You are right use as little ativan as possible. That is what they gave me.
I thought and knew my professional experiences that I didn't want to have to think about having to need ativan once I was recovered from my physical symptoms.
You will completely recover! Yes it is a long fierce battle! You will win It!
Prayers, Rhonda
craig07920 rhonda21886
Posted
I always love to see a post from you, and I really hope that you are feeling well and that you have been able to go on your trip away - you deserve that so much.
I totally agree that the anxiety is a horrible thing, thanks for reminding us that fear is a liar and that Jesus knows all about suffering and is with us all the way. That helps me right now as have been strugging with fear and anxiety and harsh emotions in my own situation right now.
Definitely I agree that Wendi will completely recover!! You will definitely win this battle and hang in there - thinking fo you today and hoping for a good day!
Craig
KS2017 Guest
Posted
Hi Wendi
Sorry to hear you've been struggling so much. I am ten months in and the way I feel now is the complete opposite to those truely awful early months. You will also start to feel better but unfortunately the only way to get well is to rest and to keep fighting through. I also struggled with terrible anxiety where even smells and sounds would send me into panic attacks. The thing that really helped my anxiety was Epsom salt baths (or foot baths when I was scared I'd fall asleep in the bath!). Apparently you use one full cup of Epsom salts per 50kg of body mass, and soak for at least 30 mins in the warmest water you can stand. I found it took me until 20mins into the bath where I'd finally feel the relaxation flood my body and the anxiety would fall away. I've had dozens of Epsom salt baths over the past ten months- it was a God send for me. Hoping that you're having a better day today.
craig07920 KS2017
Posted
Hi KS,
It is good to hear from you and that things have progressed a bit for you. Epsom salts in the bath are definitely good I use those too! They have certainly help with relaxing your body and muscles and you can order a box on amazon or whatever for not too expensive I think.
Just remember things will continue to get better for you, my experience was that 10 months was my turning point, and Year 2 was like a walk in the park compared to Year 1 - I truly believe you won't have to go through anything like that again KS and that your full health and body resililence will return as things go on from here - hang in there and believing totally in your full recovery!
Craig
craig07920 KS2017
Posted
Hi KS,
It is good to hear from you and that things have progressed a bit for you. Epsom salts in the bath are definitely good I use those too! They have certainly help with relaxing your body and muscles and you can order a box on amazon or whatever for not too expensive I think.
Just remember things will continue to get better for you, my experience was that 10 months was my turning point, and Year 2 was like a walk in the park compared to Year 1 - I truly believe you won't have to go through anything like that again KS and that your full health and body resililence will return as things go on from here - hang in there and believing totally in your full recovery!
Craig
KS2017 craig07920
Posted
Your presence here has been a blessing to me and no doubt to countless others - thank you so much!
craig07920 KS2017
Posted
The forum has been a really helpful thing for me too, just to have that interaction and to feed off of the good will and nice comments people have made, it means a lot to me and there is a very warm and genuine feeling to it, where people are encouraging each other which is so important. It has helped me in my own tough time at the moment for sure.
Thinking about you KS and always remembering how hard this virus was to deal with, and really just want you to know I believe that things will continue to improve from here for you - truly trusting God with that! Thanks again for being so kind and hope this week can be a good week for you
Craig
KS2017 craig07920
Posted
I'm sorry to hear that you've been having a rough time too. I read in a previous post that you've been struggling with back pain. It must be so frustrating for you and I can imagine it must remind you of having mono all over again. For me, being so stuck physically also made me question why I might be going through this spiritually and I was able to gain a few insights. I really hope and pray that your back heals quickly and that you're able to return to work and your normal life as soon as possible.
craig07920 KS2017
Posted
Hi KS,
Thanks so much for your lovely and supportive words, it really does help. I can really relate to what you said about the relationship between the physical and spiritual body/health. I do feel and others have said to when praying for me although the pain is in my back as if it's maybe coming from somewhere else deeper inside, and if that can be freed and released then things could be so much different and better.
Just praying that God can release and heal anything spiritually that may be holiding us back or trying to prevent us from His wonderful love or healing.
It definitely does remind me of mono what I've been going through, although of course it is very different, some of the fears and emotions have been the same harsh ones to deal with. I know you know what it's like KS and thinking about you still, praying for your full health and recovery and remember you ARE going to get through this - I believe the angels are protecting you KS and that God wants you to know that today.
Hoping for a good and settle day / week ahead for you!
Craig
KS2017 craig07920
Posted
Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words Craig, I think being chronically ill for any reason is a really awful experience and it really makes you reassess what is really important in your life.
In relation to the spiritual side of being unwell, I learned a technique which I've found really helpful but might sound a bit kooky and out there 😅 You write a letter to your illness or affliction and tell it how it's affecting you, impacting your life and ask it why it is in your life and what is it trying to teach you e.g
"dear glandular fever, you have brought my life to a grinding halt and make me feel so awful, why are you in my life? Why do you refuse to let me get well? What are you trying to teach me?"
And then underneath, without thinking about anything, let the affliction write a response back through you. Just put the pen to paper and let whatever comes to pour out. Yes, it sounds strange but it really works. I was gob-smacked at what insights came out and how relevant and true they were. None of what I wrote in response was me consciously writing, it came from somewhere much deeper.
I figure when you've tried everything you have nothing to lose so if this idea speaks to you why not give it a go and see what happens.
Sending you lots of prayers for healing and peace.
craig07920 KS2017
Posted
Hi KS,
Thanks for sharing this really interesting technique with me, I really appreciate it and is something I may well give a go! As you say maybe just the process of getting it out of your head and down on paper can be very important, sometimes I feel I've been kind of running away and shirking responsbility for things right now, as if I just can't face anything and just doing the minimum to cope. Don't want to live in that fear or like that all the time KS, and thanks again for sharing your technique glad that it has been helpful.
You're so right it's such an awful experience going through any kind of illness or trial that lasts a long time. Just trusting that God wants us well and that He is a good God, and that there is a reason for everything even if we can't see it right now, and that the reason is for our good in terms of health, peace, prosperity and our relationship with Him.
Thank you so much for your prayers and praying for a good and settled weekend and coming week for you too KS!!
Craig
maisie51387 Guest
Posted
Hope ur anxiety backs off a bit
Maisie
craig07920 maisie51387
Posted
Hi Maisie,
Goodness you've been through such a rough ride with this, I really hope things can settle down and just want you to know I'm still believing in your recovery, in Jesus name. Thinking about you and just praying things get easier and that you can find a balance diet / weight - I know how worrying that can be when you can't find that.
Good luck at the docs Maisie, really hoping it can be a helpful and encouraging doctor who gives good advice and support. Oh I don't really know food wise, I guess just healthy diet with fruit and veg, I remember during the virus I tried to eat 'superfoods', things like blueberries, blackberries, raspberries. But sometimes these things can be hard to eat if you don't have a taste for them. Even if you just make sure you're taking some good vitamins / herbs, amino acids supplements can be good at just building up your protein and managing your weight.
Thinking of you and remember you ARE going to get better Maisie - that's what I feel the urge to tell you today - it's going to happen!
Craig