Setraline works! Hang in there!

Hi everyone, so a brief description of me, i am 23 years old. Always have been a happy go lucky girl. Sadness never really got the best of me, i always bounced back really fast, and was my happy go lucky self again.

So two years ago my best friend died in a car accident, ofcourse i was heartbroken, cried for days. But after a month i was healed, or so i thought. I had very light anxiety at first, like i would suddenly feel sort of panicked for no reason, thinking  something bad was about to happen even though everything in my world was fine. But then it became a once a week thing, and eventually an everyday thing. It was difficult to breathe, my heart pounded. But i thought nothing of it since i never believed in depression,i believed it was all a ''head thing'' like so many fools out there.

My anxiety quickly switched to depression. Full hardcore depression. I cried about EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. It was like someone died all over again. I couldnt get up in the morning, i didnt want to get up. And for the first time ever i had thoughts about suicide.

I went to the doctor, thinking that maybe i could get some vitamins so i could atleast just get started with each day. She talked with me for ten minutes and put me on Setraline 50mg a day.

The first day i took one, i fell asleep 20 minutes after. I woke up, ran to the bathroom and threw up. My head was pounding and i was shaking. HORRIBLE PILL i thought! Called the doc, told her this kite wasnt flying. She begged me to give it atleast a month. So i did.

First two weeks were horrible. I had a never ending migraine. It just didnt LEAVE! And dizzy spells like a mad person. My mouth was very dry and i couldnt sleep. Had insomnia. I also had no appetite. By week three the side effects were lighter, i slept beter, headache completely gone. Wasnt shaking and also managed to eat something here and there. But i was still depressed, still anxious. Didnt feel like it was helping at all.

This is now week four. And i seriously didnt think i would say this ever, but setraline works! Its not a miracle drug, it wont make you float around on a pretty cloud, and its NOT goint to work right away. But you will start noticing things, a day will go by and you'll be like ''hey, i wasnt once sad today even though a few things happened that would have gotten to me in the past'' or ''hey, im actually very calm and content today, today is a nice day. It takes the edge off, it takes YOU out of your head. You cant yet see the light at the end of the tunnel, but you know for a FACT its there.

I lived with depression and anxiety for two years without knowing it or getting help. And it crashed on top of me with full force. I even knew what sleeping pills i would take to kill myself. It was a virus that ate away at me very very slowly, and i let it.

I know the side effects from setraline are horrible, but on days like the one im having today, it is worth it a million times. Stick with it, eventhough you are convinced it is not working, like i did. Just pay attention to things, how you would normally act and feel, and how you act and feel on setraline. Im in week four, and im still not feeling the FULL effect but i have hope like ive had a very long time ago.

Thank you for reading, and sorry for the long post.

6 likes, 31 replies