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Severe agoraphobia

Posted , 7 users are following.

helen13618
helen13618

I have always been worried and anxious and began suffering panic attacks in my 20's!

These have manifested themselves in different ways over the years but always with a background of agoraphobia such as needing to escape situations, feeling trapped and also not liking to be left alone!

I have tried hypnotherapy which has worked over the past 10 years but it always comes back!

This time it's really bad and I am now practically housebound and frightened of everything !

I have tried counselling, gradual exposure , beta blockers which I reacted to but it's got worse!

The thing that has been bothering me is how I've got to this point and how have I managed to cope all these years!

I'm obsessed by thinking back on my life and times when I've say needed the reassurance of my car to drive my children to school rather than walk but then been able to go away on planes and holidays without a car or escape route as such!

 Another example is that I wouldn't walk round a large lake for fear of no escape but how is this any different to walking around town!

I know this probably makes no sense and I feel so alone in my thoughts. I'm trying to rationalise how certain safety factors have been important sometimes but not at others and it's like my brain has tricked me!

It seems like only now everything makes sense because I can't leave the house and I'm frightened of going anywhere !

I'm no longer able to work or look after my children and am

Living at home!

I feel like no one could possibly understand !

3 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • eva98245
    eva98245 helen13618

    Posted

    I feel the same if that any help you not alone

    Hope we feel better

    • helen13618
      helen13618 eva98245

      Posted

      It is so scary and frightening!

      I don't know what to do anymore! Even if I had a massive panic attack I couldn't go anywhere or get help because I'd just want to escape to the safety of my home!

      I feel like there is no hope but I'm reassured that there i am not alone in this madness of my thought process!

    • tanya94586
      tanya94586 helen13618

      Posted

      Hi Helen. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I have 2 kids and when I was at my worst, I don’t know what I would have done without my husband. I wouldn’t wish anxiety on anyone.  

      I’m not sure if you’ve tried CBT, but it has at least a 70% success rate. I am trying it in the new year. Also read as much as possible (not on Google but real books) about anxiety. Understanding it and what is happening in your body helped me the most stop fearing as much as I did.  I still suffer and the most frustrating thing is not knowing why it is happening because then you just fear the fear all the time, not knowing when or where you’ll have an attack, so you are just afraid of going anywhere. I find keeping busy the hardest thing to do but the best thing to keep it at bay.  Puzzles, colouring, even playing board games with my kids. At least you’re with them and keeping occupied at then same time.  I really hope you feel better. I’m on week 4 of Prozac. No more panic attacks, but the side affects are at me.  Hopefully they get better.  

    • helen13618
      helen13618 tanya94586

      Posted

      Thanks Tanya! 

      Are you fairly housebound too or do you manage to go out?

      I have been given citslopram to try but of course I fear taking it will make things worse in the beginning! It's a never ending cycle of worry

  • adrionna45708
    adrionna45708 helen13618

    Posted

    Wow, I hope you find a way to tackle this. I’m not sure if you have tried this, but I think the best way to tackle your fears is to face them. I know it may take a lot of courage and motivation, but there’s no time limit. Slowly begin to expose yourself to the outside world. Start by just walking outside, taking a deep breath, and walking back in. Then after a week or so, walk down the block, then walk back home... and so on. Do you have a dog? They’re  very loving and provide a sense of protection. Perhaps get a dog, this way you’ll never be alone. Dogs typically have keeners senses than humans, and will typically detect danger before you do. 
  • jen1978
    jen1978 helen13618

    Posted

    Hi

    I understand completely! The idea of leaving the safety of my own home sometimes terrifies me. Going into town or to the supermarket can bring on either anxiety symptoms or a full blown panic attack and it scares me to death. I am currently having counselling and have been told by my therapist to "embrace the fear/panic"....yeah right. Its the symptoms of panic that Im anxious of so why would I embrace them? Feeling this way is exhausting and lonely. I cant talk to many people about how I feel. Its almost like Im scared of life and living. If Im having a good day I will suddenly think "when will I be anxious again" which then kickstarts my anxiety symptoms. Its a never ending battle. It feels like instead of living I am just existing....its not a nice feeling 😐

    • helen13618
      helen13618 jen1978

      Posted

      Hi Jen! 

      It's awful isn't it! I agree it's like I'm scared of life and the different thought processes that go through my head!

      When I sleep I dream I can do these things like go to work or travel and then I wake up and the reality of my situation hits me!

      It's true you will do anything to avoid the panic as it's so frightening!

      I try to get out and then find my safe places suddenly don't feel safe anymore and I'm back to square one!

    • jen1978
      jen1978 helen13618

      Posted

      Its awful Helen. I go to bed every night shattered by it and feel anxious about how I will feel the following day. The only thing that stops the anxiety and panic attacks is medication (citalopram) but I am trying to get better without them. I dont think I can though. What makes me sad is it affects my kids and family because although I want to go places and do things I am too scared. It makes me very depressed that I cant enjoy life and I also resent people who have seemingly nice lives and are able to do the things I struggle with. I often ask myself 'why me'.

      Im thankful for forums like this as at least I know Im not alone lol x

    • helen13618
      helen13618 jen1978

      Posted

      I know I feel the same! 

      I have just even out for a drive but it's like a geographical location of a mile with my house in the middle!

      I miss my children who are now living with their dad and I'm with my parents! I used to be able to go to his and spend time with them but that panics me now so they have to come and see me! I cry because I have looked after them all their lives and now I can't! And I just want to be able to go out and enjoy life like before! 

      Even just this year I went on holiday abroad so I can't understand how rapid the decline has been! This is what messes with my head!

      I tried sertraline but felt bad for 2 days on just 12.5 mg so didn't take any more!

      My parents are getting frustrated at me and I feel useless! 

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