Severe anxiety and depression

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I've recently upped my dosage of paroxetine to 30mg following the doctors advice. I'm on day 6 of 30mg and wondered how long it would take for me to get back to "normal". I was in 20mg but it suddenly stopped working 3 1/2 months ago and I had a suicidal episode. Since then I have been living in fear and am constantly in edge. I am a single mum to a 16m girl and I just want to get back to normal and be a good mum. Please help if anyone has any experience of upping their dosage!

I am scared of being on my own in case I have another episode like the one 3 months ago where I had to be taken to hospital. It was very traumatic and has ruined my life. I know I don't want to kill myself, I wouldn't do that to my daughter or family, I just get strong waves sometimes and feel exceptionally low. I know this has occurred because of a mess up of my medication, when weaning me off the tablets, the doctor I'll advised me to cut them in half. I now know this was a stupid thing to do. I just wondered how long it will take me to even out or if I'm ever going to get back to " normal" sad

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Thanks for your help!

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