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Severe homesickness/health anxiety

Posted , 5 users are following.

Debbiew123
Debbiew123

Hi,

Going to try to keep this as short as possible. I've suffered from anxiety my whole life. For me, it began as a child, went away some extent when I was around 11-16 (I'm 20 now) and then began again intensely in August 2014 when I went on holiday to Florida for 2 weeks.

When I arrived I got very bad symptoms i.e. severe dizziness, nausea, and lost my appetite. I flew home after 4 days on my own and soon realised I was suffering from anxiety. Ever since then I cannot travel with family nevermind alone and it's ruining my life. Although going on holiday is easily avoidable, it's not ideal and this is not the only implication. I've been offered a job where I have to go away for a few days training and I'm traumatised. I don't know what to do. Anxiety has already dictated my life for so long. In University I miss once in a life time opportunity ie trips to Israel, and other places in the Middle East. I miss holidays with my friends and family and I have severely limited my studying. I want to study a Masters however I cannot travel away.

This is torturing me. When I'm alone I become very upset and sick. I have tried counselling, CBT, hypnotherapy, mindfulness etc and nothing seems to work. I have been told I have separation anxiety and I feel like this is probably the case - I feel like a child does when they're away from their parents. However I would argue that it is not solely my parents that I miss, because even when I'm away wth family I get anxious.

I think I fear the fact that it's not easy to get home, which is obviously my "happy place".

I am so worried about training for this job that I'm so close to just not taking the job, which is not ideal for me because anxiety already dictates much of my life.

In October I suffered intense health anxiety and that is still ongoing and I also experience bouts of anxiety regarding other things.

I will go on the training for the job because I simply am sick of letting anxiety ruin things. But this is my worst nightmare. I don't want to go and am dreading it and I'm finding it so hard to cope, like what if I panic while I'm alone or if I get lost or start thinking I'm going to die because of health anxiety?

I feel like I'm at a loss and any advice would be helpful. I'd love to hear from someone who is in, or has been in a similar position.

Ps I should also add I have phobias of lifts, small spaces and being locked in and I feel like this may contribute to my fear of being away from home (I suppose "locked in" a different country, in a sense?)

Thanks in advance! ??

0 likes, 14 replies

14 Replies

  • borderriever
    borderriever Debbiew123

    Posted

    Debbie

    Some airline companies in the UK and I would imagine in the UK run courses for those people who have a fear of flying, although this is only a small part of the problem you are suffering from. Do you feel being out for the day at work also affects you and your fears ?

    The other thing you could try if yo have had other treatment pathways is Hypnosis, where you could control your own fears and put yourself in a happy place. I do not really know if this would be available in a short period of time or if you are suitable for this type of treatment, it may be available as a private patient 

    Again I am not sure if something like this would work

    BOB

    • Debbiew123
      Debbiew123 borderriever

      Posted

      Hi!

      Thanks for your message.

      I don't have a fear of flying at all, it's more a fear of being away from home sad.

      I've tried hypnotism too, paid £400 and it didn't work.

      I just feel really lost ATM and am not sure where to go from here.

    • borderriever
      borderriever Debbiew123

      Posted

      Debbie

      Have you any idea why you have this problem ?, sometimes if you know why they may suggest a way to treat your concerns.

      At sometime in life, like going to work causes us all the leave the nest, that needs to be addressed. To have these fears needs CBT to help you move on. Have further talk with your GP and there will most probably introduce you to coping techniques

      BOB

    • Debbiew123
      Debbiew123 simon8580

      Posted

      But I'm fine in public and when I'm at home. It's just homesickness I think sad just unbearable it's ruining my life sad

    • simon8580
      simon8580 Debbiew123

      Posted

      Yes I'm the same I'm ok in social situations, but feeling trapped, not wanting to go to far from home, worried about having a panic attack and losing control are all symptoms of agoraphobia

    • Debbiew123
      Debbiew123 simon8580

      Posted

      That actually sounds like me. Maybe I've looked over that in the past. Thanks so much smile

  • lisalisa67
    lisalisa67 Debbiew123

    Posted

    Im sorry this is how it is going for you. I read it and just wanted tomgive you hug! You might to simplfy your life at this time. Make it all lower stress and low anxiety situtaions. 
    • Debbiew123
      Debbiew123 lisalisa67

      Posted

      Aww thanks. I know, it's very difficult and it's breaking my heart that my life is being dictated by this sad. Just don't know what to do anymore sad

    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Debbiew123

      Posted

      Look this stuff happens in life. It really does so when it does slow,it down for yourself. Let yourself have a calmer enviornment.,your homesick..go home. You need a mellower job they have low anxiety jobs. Then you can work on you. You time. And it does and can calm down. I was bad then it was gone for years. Then acts and then goes away. Now im older got ailments and they freak me out. But before this i was okay again. It comes and goes. But therapy is really useful and finding solace in something higher or bigger then you is great. Somewhere along the way you got traumatized. Forgive yourself and love yourself. Love yourself as is and even it if its sitting outside in a chair do it. We are a part of nature. It feels good. Watch the birds. Try and see the simple things in life. Theres a whole world going on around you. You are taking each of yur thoughts and over analyzing everyone to the point they are real or useless and creating danger and fears where there are none. Yes its a disorder but nithing that is mal functioning in you can currently rob you of taking a little break and just observing nature. I go the beach when im in a bad place. Sand and water and birds. And inwatch it all. In the colder days thats harder so i bundle up and sit outside and just look around. And say some prayers (haha). I know this can be extremly overwhelming at times and it seems like life is done and your just existing but thats usually limited in its nature. This is all so complex but in thise moments of clarity hug yourself and be kind and seek out a simplier life. Maybe for you that will feel better. Not everyone enjoys the hub bub of a busy world. And yes you can choose a calmer life.you really can. Such a busy busy world we live in with so many rules and thoughts and information it needs to be pushed away sometimes. I am sure it was never meant that each of us is suppose to know everything happening all over the world at every moment. Noway. It was meant you lived in your little part of the world and existed. We are animals. But some decieded nope thats ignorance know everything about everyone and try and control people because its everyones buisness. Nah it isnt. It really isnt. All its doing is making people sick. 25% have anxiety issues. Its an overload. 
    • Debbiew123
      Debbiew123 lisalisa67

      Posted

      I really enjoyed reading your comment, it made me smile! I study a degree in philosophy (final year), and spend my life thinking about life and why we're here and I'd say it probably contributes somewhat to my anxiety. I have always wondered about our purpose and position in the universe and I can accept that we will probably never had answers.

      I'm going to try and look after myself more and spend time doing things that I love. I really enjoyed reading your comment and I'm really thankful. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you? What have you learnt in life? And how do you take care of yourself, as in, what do you do in your down time to relax? Really open at the minute to try new things.

      Thanks again smile

    • lisalisa67
      lisalisa67 Debbiew123

      Posted

      I am past middle aged but old,old yet. Im still,learning lol. I don't think that ever stops. I have learned mainly that to peacefully survive one must trust the process of life. Its embracing that that has been a challenge. Trust is a weak frail thing with people with anxiety. many do not find what they need for refuge in their enviornment or solace so in time many look to the heavens (spiritual or religous .. not the same thing)  for this. It provides hope and faith and it would be bigger then just being. That helps ground the person too.personally i feel in dealing with all the anxiety a balance is needed between the mind, the body and the soul(spirit). Thats a personal thing probably everyone has to kind of figure out that for themselves,I learned its really important to have self love and be kind to yourself and not rant on youself or get angry with yourself. It wont help anything. The goal is to follow your own bliss. Thats not so simple anymore and be very careful about people pleasing. This is your journey. They have theirs. Yours should not be compromised for their journey. For whatever odd reason many people with anxiety disorders will do more for someone else then themselves. Maybe it kindness or maybe a little guilt that they feel inadequate or a mix. But bad idea. Vital to remeber and embrace this is your adventure and your jiourney and it is nit selfish in a bad way to follow your own bliss. You will meet people on your journey and connect with some and that makes it all the better.

      what i do is mixed. Some things i havent been able to find solace in just yet..that would be the body and ailments they trigger my anxiety at times. The most calming for me is walking by the water, mindful exercises, learning new things about the mind and its connection to the body and such. Healing meditations over regular ones and reading or hearing stories of people that have cured themselves of illnesses because i do believe you can do this somehow. The placebo effect is very powerful. Also, We all started as a cell and became humans i mean thats a big deal so somewhere in us must be the knowledge and ability to heal. Then you hear stories of people who cured themselves of diseases and such and i find that fascinating. Science as a cure all is hard to place too much faith in as it is still developing and things change on a dime.

      Im content spending time with nature and my family. I like shopping too not going to lie haha but for that inner calm definetly walks along the water it makes me feel safe and calm for some reason.i try very hard to live in the moment. Im still working on that when im scared or in pain.I never got what that meant until i got older. Predicting outcomes and trying to project the future is foolish. Too many things can occur or change to even do it right. So if you can learn not to attach to an outcome of something that really helps a lot. It wouldnt even be the truth anyway but your thoughts would make it happen that way because the mind has no clue but your perception to guide it.most of the time when you attempt to predict all you have is your own past to do it with so its not like your going to predict it in a positive light. So waste of time and then you end uo preprogramming negative stuff. 

      the last thing i am noticing is what i thought i feared at one time changed over time. Everything changes. That can be a good thing by the way.

       

  • zoe70824
    zoe70824 Debbiew123

    Posted

    I know this is 4 months ago, but I would like to know if you did end up going away? And howyour coping. As I am 20 and I have the exact same symptoms !! I have never been able to leave home for even one night! When I was a younrg child I'd go to sleepover at a friends but my mom would have to come pick me up come 1am because I'd be hysterically crying because I was homesick. I've also went away with family on a 2 weeks holiday in benidorm 3 years ago, and I had to fly home Early after 5 days because I was terribly homesick and anxious, I was making myself sick because I wasn't eating or drinking because I was so nervous. And Friday the 4th August (so two days ago) I went to London for the weekend for a weekend event, I managed one night and I had to come back early again!! I arrived hom at 5am this morning !! Because I was again hysterically crying and panicking. It's ruining my life I'm debating hypnotherapy. But I want to know if there are any other ways to deal with this anxiety? It's stopping me from doing anything. Even when I go to work I get anxious. Thank you in advance x

    • courtney85351
      courtney85351 zoe70824

      Posted

      I'm also late to the party here... I read this feeling such mixed emotions - on one hand, relieved, because I've never heard my symptoms be explained so perfectly and have never known anyone that's truly understood the feelings that I experience... But on the other hand, I feel disappointed since it seems that no one has answers yet.  

      In 1 week my husband and I will be flying to Europe from Canada, and will be spending 2 weeks there.  It is the holiday that I've dreamed of for years, but only recently my "travel anxiety" is making the thought of it unbearable.  I've experienced this type of anxiety before, but then it seemed justified because I was away from home for months at a time - once during a summer spend working in a city thousands of miles away, and again during a two month mission trip to India.  Those trips were extremely demanding so my anxiety seemed justified...

      But then last year on my honeymoon I experienced the same fears and anxiety.  I've never understood my own emotions less than the second night of my honeymoon, 5 days into marriage and still beaming, in a beautiful resort in Jamaica, with the ocean at my window.... and my poor husband consoling me while I sobbed desperately.  I felt trapped, and as you said, Debbie, I was completely overcome with that feeling that I was so far from my "happy place" and there was no way to get back.  During that trip, knowing that I would be back in just 1 short week was not a comforting thought, as it should be.  But then you get home, and your mind somehow blocks out those feelings, and you are able to look back on the trip with fond memories.  

      So we booked another trip, and this time it's two weeks.  It's finally just hitting me that this will be EXTREMELY difficult. I'm feeling helpless, with no one that really understands, so if anyone on the thread has any suggestions, please send them my way.  Prayers are appreciated smile Thanks so much! 

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