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Were do i start im in my twentys have two young children a husband a really well paid job ive got the house the car... my children are ny life over the past year ive been feeling ao depressed im always driving and thinking i should just drive my car into somethink but this isnt just it i think about the speed ill have to do it to kill my self who i would have to write letters to what the hell is wrong with me? ive thought and read up on how to hang my self and what i would need to do it were i would do it ... ive mentioned how im feeling to my mum and husband and they just brush it of laugh at it tell me in being stupid ... im usnder so much pressure in the sole earner i work 70 hours im never at home ive discussed cutting it down but no i cant... im self employeed... i work nights barely get any sleep which i dont think is helping my mood ive never been so unhappy in all my life i dont take drugs i dont drink.. i tried medication but the doctor took me of it as i was unwell... i feel stuck... when i do kill my self everything will be paid for noone will have to worry about money or anything... i feel so worthless so used so sh*t... ive rung the samaritans when im crying in the car for hours which i do before work which is so stupid because i dont mind the work i leave hours early just so i can think... i didnt feel the smaritans worked for me because i dont want to talk ... i talk everyday in my job .
i dont no why i have written this post as never have i written anything before.
just i can talk to myself i suppose without being laughed at and judged
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