sex after cervical fusion surgery
Posted , 3 users are following.
just had my 2nd cervical fusion in the past year and I am about to have a back fusion on Friday. I am 49 and female. My husband has been awesome through all of this. He has made every dr appointment with me, shows me empathy, loves me to death. My issue is Honestly I have no desire for sex and this really hurts him. I just had surgery 2.5 weeks ago so yes I am in a lot of pain which I have been using as the excuse. I just don't feel like a woman anymore, because due to the pain and with my upcoming back surgery, Thete is not much I can do. I just want to know from other women if they have experienced this and if so, how long does it take to get over? I love my husband dearly, and this issue has only intensified my depression. Men feel free to chime in too because I would love to hear your feelings as well
2 likes, 8 replies
tiswas24537 bethany65
Posted
and getting thru the day is as much as i can do .sex is the last hting on my mind .
so hopefuly you will in time feel better and when the pain isent so intense you will start having a life again including sex . dont be to hard on your self pain is awful and tiring . give your self time and start dateing each other again after you have recovered from your next surgery .
your have so much fun doing the dateing the sex will proberly just happen because your not putting yourself under pressure .good luck hun .
bethany65 tiswas24537
Posted
tiswas24537 bethany65
Posted
after 7 weeks continue doing once aday . you will see a differance .
its amazing how stressed we are without knowing it .
your find it diffitcult at first to switch of after about the second week your notice your finding easier to switch of .
bethany65 tiswas24537
Posted
tiswas24537 bethany65
Posted
all i am saying is you can reduce your pain with hypnoses as well as your meds . . and surely it can only help if you can reduce it as much as you can .
a friend of mine has a terminal condition and does meditation and relaxation , i saw her at christmas and she looked amazing .
i must admit i find meditation diffitcult but hypnoses cds iv found a real help with my fibro pain.
. i would never aim to upset someone with a painful condition
it was just a suggestion to help . which many people use succesfuly to help ease pain 
bethany65 tiswas24537
Posted
tiswas24537 bethany65
Posted
its surprizing how many people think they arent tense till they try to switch of and relax. i find talking hypnoses cds are better than just relaxing music .
theres loads on line .just need to put in self hypnoses for pain relief .
i wish you well fo ryour surgery .and recovery .
georgeGG bethany65
Posted
I am sorry you have such a problem. I am used to thinking of this sort of problem the other way round. What to do when your man looses interest and ability. I think that way round the problem is slightly easier to resolve, at least in part.
When I started hormone therapy August 2014 each day libido and ability reduced. On day 13 there was no libido and no ability. It was as obvious as that. OK so how is this relevant to you? It was this obvious and complete change that taught me what a relentless driver testosterone is. There is a real relief that one's mind is not constantly driven to sex. The converse is the reality for a couple in your position. The woman is used to sex being a voluntary matter. Men seem by comparison odd creatures who are always trying to volunteer. But not so. They are always being driven to find sex and have a constant battle to behave within the mores of their society and their own ethical and moral standards. The withdrawal of the female from the the role of sexual partner exacerbates an already difficult situation.
I would not not urge a woman in your situation to sacrifice herself in suffering intense pain. I would suggest that some loving means of finding some catharsis should be mutually sought. I rather think that this is easier for a woman to contemplate than a man. Men are notoriously reticent when this sort of subject is raised. It is I believe possible. I hope a man who has found a solution will contribute. I expect it will be his partner who does.