sex drive

Posted , 6 users are following.

hi everyone new too group I really need help /advise I have been in  change for 2yrs got no sex drive its coming too the point that my husband is complaining that there is nothing bwtn us we been married for 32 yrs but he says he love me HELP

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  • Posted

    Hi Paula, I can empathise with you. It's probably not just that you have no interest in sex, but if you have all the other symptoms that come with the menopause, the last thing you want is sex! We have been married for 43 years (married at 17) and had a normal, happy sex life until 9 months ago. However, due to my hrt being changed because of my age, I then have had all these months of living in hell. But just recently, I began to feel really guilty that I wasn't showing my husband much love or affection. It began to really bother me, and as I have been unable to sleep in our own bed due to being up most of the night, I finally "visited" my husband a few nights ago. I feel it has helped both of us, as we have regained our closeness, and I feel more like a woman and have a feeling of self worth again. I went back to the spare bedroom afterwards, but I feel I have taken a positive step to getting back to being me. Try and make that move towards regaining your closeness, because your husband and you are losing out such a lot, and while I know that you are probably not feeling very much about anything or anybody, at the moment, sex might actually make you feel better about yourself. Good luck x

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  • Posted

    I lost my sex drive about 4 years ago. Luckily, my husband lost his sex drive before me. We are close but neither could be bothered with sex. We just like to snuggle. However, if your husband is complaining, then maybe it's worth trying to revive your sex drive. I have heard of over the counter creams to help. Not sure if they are available where you are; I'm in the states.

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  • Posted

    Hi Paula, I agree with everything supemack says. I too sleep apart from my husband but we too visit each other for cuddles which I miss most from having separate rooms. Your doctor may prescribe you vagifem pessaries which help with any vaginal dryness and discomfort. They will give you the moistness back which helps with feeling 'in the mood'.

    Have date nights and recapture the warmth between you but on the understanding there is no pressure to have intercourse. That will come when you feel relaxed with each other again.

    Take care x


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  • Posted

    Hi Paula,

    If you are both healthy and want to keep sex alive in your marriage there is no reason you can't. Have you had your hormones tested? Your testosterone, Estrogen and Progesterone? These can help in rebuilding your desire and bring back much needed lubrication that us women lose during menapause. Sex can become dry and painful no matter what kind of lubes we use. Replenshing the bodies lost hormones can bring intimacy back with your husband. I believe a good sex life keeps our minds and bodies healthier and happy. I've been on bio identical hormones for a year and a half. Wouldn't be this happy in menapause without them. Good Luck!

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