Sex positions

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I am only in my early 30s and  my anatomy has drastically changed in the last 6 months. I'm talking, I was pink and normal looking and now I am white, no labia minora, narrowed opening, 6 o'clock tear all the time, and clitoris good has fused over the bit if labia minora that leads up to it. It is stressing me out because I have been using clob and soaking before every day for the last couple months. 

Now, I know to be relaxed and lubricated, only have sex 1-2 times per week. etc. But I need advice on positions with the 6oclock tear issue. Which positions don't press on the perineum toward the butt? i can't not have sex with my husband at all, it's not fair to him (or me!). Please share all the details. 

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  • Posted

    Hi there, honestly you really need to stop having sex with your partner until you have the  '6 o'clock tear' cleared up.  It is not a good idea to continue putting that kind of stress on your body and on yourself...you must be in pain while having sex!!  In the meantime, I would take a look at the thread 'experiment with borax' a lot of women have had a lot of success with using it.

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    • Posted

      I got the tear in early January and then didn't have sex for 6 weeks so it could heal. But every time we have sex I feel pressure on that spot so it's very slow going until I stretch out. By going slow it hasn't torn but if we were to do it at a normal pace it certainly would. sad 

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  • Posted

    Hey there, I'm in my late 20's and have had the exact same thing including the change in anatomy. I'd been misdiagnosed for 10 years so I know how you're feeling. I've been using steroid ointment (Diprosone) for 5 months and have only now just felt the change. Make sure to put the ointment on at night time not the start of the day. In between using it try some sort of Emu oil. 

    For sex, I waited a couple of months before I tried after the last time I had tearing. Change up the lube you're using because that can change the ph levels and some lubes can irritate LS. I've found the least painful way in the past was me on top with legs close together and stretched out. Sounds very unromantic in writing but it's less tension at 6 o'clock. If you're tearing every time, you'll start to feel anxious and already tense before you even start. One of the most helpful things I've found apart from taking the steroids was seeing a relationship and sex therapist. They're not telling you how you should have sex but helps you cope with the stress of living with LS and how its affecting your relationship. Hope this helps in some way!

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  • Posted

    Try the "reverse cowgirl" position leaning slightly forward if you can.  There's no pressure on the perineum that way.  If he is fit enough, just make sure that if he is on top that he is holding himself up with his arms rather than resting his body on you.  If he's holding himself up, then he won't be pushing down on your perineum as much.  Place pillows under your bottom/lower back to lift you towards him.  I've been living with this for most of my married life (about 12 years) and these are the positions that tend to work best for us.

    I really think you need to talk to your doctor about the fact that the clobetasol isn't working for you.  You're using it daily?  Is it cream or ointment?  The ointment is the only thing that has worked for me, along with using emu oil or coconut oil daily and rubbing it in really well.  Some people have had success with cutting out sugars and processed foods.  I stopped eating those things just because I wanted to lose a few pounds and get in better overall shape, and I haven't had a flare up since, so maybe they are onto something.  I've also been exercising regularly, which increases endorphins and reduces stress, so maybe that has something to do with it as well.  

     

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  • Posted

    To help with tearing of the skin, ask for a topical estrogen cream to put on the exterior a couple of times a week. The estrogen makes the skin more resilient. I kept tearing until I started to use it. I go to a naturopath who prescribes a cream that is compounded as opposed to premarin, which is the usual cream that is dispensed by doctors. 

    A sex position to try is T square. The man is on his side. For the purposes of this description his right. You are on your back at ninety degrees to him (hence the name T square). He lifts up his left leg.  Your right leg slides between his thighs and you slide closer to his groin. Your left leg drapes over his waist. 

    I would consider expanding the definition of sex to beyond penetration. There are plenty of other ways to explore each others bodies that don't include penis in vagina to achieve orgasm and that won't tear you. Oral sex. Hands. Vibrators. 

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  • Posted

    To help with tearing of the skin, ask for a topical estrogen cream to put on the exterior a couple of times a week. The estrogen makes the skin more resilient. I kept tearing until I started to use it. I go to a naturopath who prescribes a cream that is compounded as opposed to premarin, which is the usual cream that is dispensed by doctors. 

    A sex position to try is T square. The man is on his side. For the purposes of this description his right. You are on your back at ninety degrees to him (hence the name T square). He lifts up his left leg.  Your right leg slides between his thighs and you slide closer to his groin. Your left leg drapes over his waist. 

    I would consider expanding the definition of sex to beyond penetration. There are plenty of other ways to explore each others bodies that don't include penis in vagina to achieve orgasm and that won't tear you. Oral sex. Hands. Vibrators. 

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