Sexuality and lichen and a few thoughts and queries

Hi. Lichen sclorosis hits hard..simlpy because in my experience it does not just hit a body part..it hits at the core of who you are..a female...an emotional caring loving sexual being. I found the hardest thing to cope with was the loss of choice. When I say choice, I mean the choice to have open, natural spontanious joyful sex..no pre-preparation..no agonising of mind on what to say to your potential partner..no fear of being physically hurt or being physically and emotionally rejected. 13 or 14 years ago I made the choice to cut all relationships out of my life. I have to say that I was seeing people and I was truthful to those people(males) as to why. Do you know they were great..they could immediately put themselves in my shoes..and they are still supportive friends of mine. Now it was very different telling women..they reacted more with fear and aversion(bar a couple)..not a good experience..most wounding... It's a bit late now to say casting away relationships was not the thing to do..I guess that was how my grief was dealt with..or not maybe..Thing is there is more to sex and relationships than sexual penetration..and I guess there is more to be said for giving pleasure to another person in ways that do not give that much back to the self..as a selfish hedonist it has taken me time to work that one out. What has changed my mind..my own trigger was a book..a biography on Wallace Simpson..someone born without full female parts..and what a life this determined creature made for herself..running off with the King of England was no mean feat..So what I am trying to get across here is finding attitude and means to live differently..let's avoid the sackcloth and ashes and let's have a think..XX

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