1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

She’s never been kissed and the doctor suspects herpes

Posted , 5 users are following.

Baffled
Baffled

My poor daughter. She’s 16. A virgin. Never been kissed. She had a yellow bump on her vulva. I couldn’t get her into my gyn so we went to her pediatrician. The doctor said it was an ulcer. Looked herptic. Took a culture.  We won’t know for several days. How can this happen?  I’m trying to help my girl make sense of this. We have a strong open no judgements relationship (pints of ice cream have been consumed). Everything online says it’s all sexually transmitted. She feels so cheated by life. I can’t find a way to explain this to hear. I have told her it’s minor in the grand scheme, it doesn’t change who she is, she’s still fabulous and she will still date and have a great life. But she wants answers. Help. 

0 likes, 8 replies

8 Replies

  • jessica_87114
    jessica_87114 Baffled

    Posted

    I had something very similar on the verge of mononucleosis. I had a sore . The gyn also told me it was most likely herpes... I tested negative. A few weeks later I was down with an extreme case of mono. They connected the dots ... I had to do a lot of online looking but you can get a type of cancer-sore from mono. If she is a virgin this is a possibility.

    ( ironically an ex boyfriend gave me herpes about a year later. Which explains why I’m in this chat group.)  even if it does turn out to be herpes... it’s not the end of the world I got diagnosed at 18. I have a steady relationship with an amazing guy and I never thought I would have. Coming from someone who has experienced it I promise it’s not the end of the world . Hope this helped 

    • Baffled
      Baffled jessica_87114

      Posted

      Wow!  I haven’t seen anything like this so far but I’ll keep digging. 
  • r61311
    r61311 Baffled

    Posted

    she may be a virgin, but if she’s ever received oral sex someone could pass HSV1 from their mouth to her genital area even without symptoms present. the “good” news is this type sheds far less when on the genital area and usually causes fewer outbreaks than HSV2.
    • Baffled
      Baffled r61311

      Posted

      She’s not had a boyfriend. Hasn’t started dating. She denies any sexual activity. Frankly I wouldn’t care (and maybe would prefer it at this point - for we would have answers). I know if it comes back positive the how is not that important and it’s not the end of the world. This momma wants to help her girl any way possible. And my baby wants answers and I’ll do whatever I can to help.  Thanks so much. 
    • ImSoScared
      ImSoScared Baffled

      Posted

      God I wish my parents were this helpful and supportive. You are doing a great job with this. She is going to need all the support she can get. 

      If it is herpes (I don’t want to scare you or her but it’s important that you know) then she will have to tell anyone she’s going to be intimate with. Also (for me) there are times when I get so depressed bcc I think we’ll i knew how I felt about STDs and I wouldn’t have taken the chance why would anyone else? She’ll need your support through the lows. 

      Also if it is herpes and she has an awful outbreak. You can learn tips and tricks to help ease the pain of the outbreak. 

      But you are totally right! It isn’t the end of the world. Right now it seems like it is and it seems like no one will ever love you again bcc of this. But after reading so many stories on here about how people have found love and started a family it really helps! 

  • Baffled
    Baffled

    Posted

    The culture came back today. It’s not herpes. Jessica87114 properly diagnosed this. Our pediatrician said It was a lipschutz ulcer.  The pediatrician has had 2 other girls with it and has spoken to a pediatrician on a college campus who had noted this phenomenon as well. While it is most associated with mono it can be related to a number of viruses. So now we will be on the look out for mono in the next month. 

    I can’t thank this forum enough for your support. My family’s take away is that herpes is wayyyy over stigmatized. We (my family) all had/have a huge learning curve on this ever present virus and are new champions in the fight to educate and destigmatize. 

    I’m so incredibly proud of my daughter. After a full day of crying, she picked herself up and moved on. And why shouldn’t she? As she said, once I resigned myself to herpes and learned it’s not the end of the world, life went on.  Christ who does this at 16??? I’ve never been prouder. She can take on the world. I’m just grateful that this is not a mountain she must climb. 

    So for those of you suffering, know you have new allies. I’m truly p****d at The stigmatization. For many reasons. But so hopeful that a vaccine is near. 

    • r61311
      r61311 Baffled

      Posted

      thank you for updating us on the situation! i knew it sounded fishy, it being herpes, as your daughter had no sexual contact! glad you could get a proper diagnosis.
Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.