1. Community
  2. Infections
  3. Genital Herpes Simplex

Shocked and in desperate need of direction

Posted , 4 users are following.

Steve1234567
Steve1234567

I have been with my girlfriend for almost 4 months now. I got tested a year ago and a half ago and all was well. Since then, I haven't had any risky behavior and actually had very little sex because I was living in a new area and didn't know anyone. Two weeks before we met she was tested and was negative. I have never ever experienced any symptoms or sore or anything of that sort. 5 days ago she had a fever of 101 and cold sweats. The next day she felt much better. The third day she experienced more flu symptoms, had a swollen lymph node (on her neck, my groin) on one side and said she had what looked like a pimple on her labia. The first doctor said it was just a virus and she was sick. She saw the gyno and she saw the "pimple" and said she was 95% sure it was herpes and took a culture . 5 days in, no additional sores, but slight fever is back. I can't understand how we got this. We both felt like there was no way we had anything. I'm wondering if it's possible her test right before we met came back negative by mistake or what. And how I could have given it to her if I had been tested and literally had no symptoms. What are we supposed to do. This is destroying our relationship and we really do care deeply about one another. I need help and guidance. And a way I can speak to someone I have more answers. I didn't want to go into the possibility of her test being wrong with her because she is already freaked out and angry and I didn't want an argument about who gave who what by she is adamant I gave it to her when I really feel like there's no way. Anybody with similar circumstance or can guide me somewhere for some help?? I'm desperate for answers and the tests won't come back for 3 days.

0 likes, 20 replies

20 Replies

Next
  • FelizCastus
    FelizCastus Steve1234567

    Posted

    What type of HSV test did you and she have done? Was her bump swab tested for herpes? If it is herpes and you both had the correct tests done (IgG Elisa for herpes), then I would be more suspicious of your situation, I'm afraid, since your test was over a year ago (unlike hers), sounds like you did have some action in that time ("very little sex" is highly subjective and not equal to no sex!), condoms don't always protect, and symptoms aren't necessary to be a carrier.
    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 FelizCastus

      Posted

      She had a swab, I went in today and had full blood panel done. But I am very confused to as if I did actually have it, but never once experienced any symptoms, how I could then pass it to her. I understand asympomatic shedding and all that. But wouldn't I need an initial outbreak first? Also, I had not had any kind of sex 3 months to meeting her. I just feel like I would have seen or noticed something. But I'm wondering if she could have contracted it a month or two before and it was not at the point where the antibodies or whatever could be tests for. But I reply dot want it to be a whole thing where we accuse one another and make it worse. I really want us to work through it together and be there for one another. But just a few days into this fiasco and we are both scared, angry, worried.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Steve1234567

      Posted

      It is very easy. If her swab comes back positive, she should test for HSV IgG (forget IgM) antibodies immediately. If IgG negative, then this is a brand new infection for her. Meanwhile, if your IgG comes back already positive, then you are the confirmed carrier.

      It's possible to have no recognised symptoms or outbreaks. Herpes can be so mild for many folk that it can easily be confused with other minor things and brushed off, etc.

    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus

      Posted

      Of course, she may not have herpes at all, or it may turn out to be just Type 1 genitally, which is not really an issue.
    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Wow. That's some good information. Thank you. But at this point we are both in this and are goin to have to love with it. Also, is a swollen lymph node in the neck a common thing with herpes? Everything I have read said it was in the groin. And she hasn't cold flashes randomly since the initial fever 5 nights ago. Does this sound like a regular herpes infection, and if so, how much longer should we expect her to continue with the fevers and headaches. She was given medication yesterday, although I'm not sure what kind. You're EXTREMELY helpful to me right now and I am so grateful. Thank you.
    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Oh and would type 1 genitally cause the fever and lymph nodes and headaches? She only has one bump that resembles a pimple
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Steve1234567

      Posted

      Swollen lymph nodes should be in the groin, near the infection site. One bump is possible, but it's too little info to go on overall, other than the nurse believing it to be herpes, but she could well be wrong. Does your gf complain that the bump hurts or feels sore to the touch, does it burn to pee, is she sure there are no other bumps/sores tucked away down there, does the bump look like an oral canker sore, does she have anything similar near her mouth? In any case, it may not be related to her fever, so best to wait for the swab results, and it's good you had a recent IgG test done (definitely IgG, not IgM, right?). It will be interesting to know how she and you both test!
    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 FelizCastus

      Posted

      I did not ask to see the bump. With everything going on, I didn't want to subject her to me looking around down there. She already s lad and convinced I did this. She described it as "a pimple, but not poppable." She doesn't have itching, burning, or any pain. And claims that she has not gotten anymore. But would the medication she got prevent symptoms increasing and more bumps anyways? And nothing by her mouth.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Steve1234567

      Posted

      Lol, I would not expect you to be the one looking around! I actually find it quite bizarre when I read others on here who have had their partners (sister even, in one case) examine their likely herpes lesions and even wash them out, put cream on them, etc. There are some things one really can and should do by oneself, but I digress!

      The meds do not really stop new lesions from developing, and herpes lesions are on the surface and usually turn into an open sore/ulcer after a few days, not remain as a solid bump. It does not sound very much like herpes at this point, imo, but herpes comes in many guises, so anything's possible.

    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 FelizCastus

      Posted

      Ok. Thanks for all this. Last thing though. Can you like tell me day by day what kind of symptoms someone gets with gh? Or post a link of that. Like day 1=fever day 2=sore. I want to see if they match what she is experiencing at all
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Steve1234567

      Posted

      Go to my profile and click on the link. I set up a site with all of the info I consolidated, because it is often incomplete if you only look at one or two sites. There is a section on first outbreaks, also testing.
  • Pat96037595
    Pat96037595 Steve1234567

    Posted

    Dallasdave13

    Did either of you request the HSV test?

    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 Pat96037595

      Posted

      She did in January apparently am I had full blood panels done yesterday. Waiting for the results is excruciating
    • Pat96037595
      Pat96037595 Steve1234567

      Posted

      Dallasdave13

      I was asking because HSV is not included in the STD panel you have to literally ask to be tested for it.

  • Pat96037595
    Pat96037595 Steve1234567

    Posted

    Dallasdave13

    My girlfriend experienced the same thing. She literally gets one bump on her gential area. That was her first OB and she stated that happens to her at least once or twice a year. Her partner had a cold sore that was forming but I guess didn't know it about three days later that pimple/bump formed and wasn't going away. She said it hurt but was tolerable however she went to get checked and to no avail it was HSV.

    • Steve1234567
      Steve1234567 Pat96037595

      Posted

      When she was put on birth control two weeks before we met she says she has full panel done. I worry that the antibodies had not had proper time to incubate and/or there was a false negative. I really did not want the whole situation to be about who brought it into the relationship, but I feel she is convinced it was me because her doctor said it absolutely was but my doctor didn't agree.
    • FelizCastus
      FelizCastus Steve1234567

      Posted

      For the vast majority of people, the first outbreak (should they have a recognisable one) occurs soon after infection, usually within one week. If this is a legitimate first outbreak for her, then it is unlikely to be from before your relationship. Everything is still speculation, however, so wait for her and your results first.
Back to top
Next

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.