Shocked at how fast depression can get worse
Posted , 3 users are following.
ive been dating a man with depression around 5 month now. Up until today he's seemed fine even on a bad day he seemed fine. He thinks his depression is made worse because of losing his wife last year. So I expected today and next week to be tough for him as it would of been his wife's birthday next week. We planned today together and he planned to stay at mine tonight. I have never had depression or known anyone with it so I admit I don't for the life of me understand it. I have read up on it a bit.
All that reading may of came in useful today not that it did any use. Met him this morning planning to talk about money which has been bothering him and few other things. we decided to go for a drink first then get train back to mine. In the pub he decided for the first time yet not to have alcohol. He doesn't drink much but does normally have 1 or 2 alcoholic drinks especially on a bad day though it doesn't effect his mood. So him choosing pop was the first sign something was wrong. I decided to leave it up to him and got him pop. Once we sat down it was obvious this was a very bad day he wasn't interested in me, talking or anything. He was close to tears and didn't know why. I had a feeling he didn't want to come to mine and he said I was right but the reason was because he was scared of what he mite do to me or himself. He has never hurt me or self harmed before but clearly felt like doing today. He eventually said he wanted to go to hospital to see a doctor. I straight away told him I would go with him. So we went and spent most of afternoon waiting. He told the doctor that he was having strong suicidal feelings and urges to self harm. I actually wasn't that surprised because of how badly it was effecting him. Well after what seemed like forever I was asked to wait outside while they spoke to him. No idea why as normally it would be up to the person who was being seen who sat in. Anyway he came out seeming much better and said he'd been advised to stay at home tonight which he wanted to and see his doctor on Monday. I can't believe the difference in him before and after visiting the hospital. After he was like he normally is but before he was so low and miserable. He admitted how he felt had scared him and if I hadn't gone he would of done something stupid. I was too shocked and trying not to let my upset show to ask what he would of done but did point out he needs to be with someone if he ever feels like that again.
1 like, 7 replies
jackie82937 marie2486
Posted
Having said that when I had anxiety one of my greatest fears was of death. I do hope things get better for you both.
marie2486 jackie82937
Posted
jackie82937 marie2486
Posted
elizabeth20203 marie2486
Posted
Wishing you the best.
Elizabeth.
UK-Ven-medicate marie2486
Posted
From my own experience its terrifiying if your have thoughts of suicide, more so when you know that's not what you want. I never knew what to do, Smaritans can talk to you but they cant necessarily make the thoughts go away. As they are an anonymous service to they cant send help out to you to. they are listeners and very good listeners. Your crisis team in your local NHS trust nearest you can however help you, in some cases visit you at home or send an ambulance to ensure your safe.
The crisis team should have given him their number, at the best oppurtunity you should speak to him and see if he is prepared to share the information with you so that in the event it happens again you know what to do and the number to call. Its the one thing in the past that I wish my ex had asked for. Still its onwards and upwards for me.
Take care Marie, I hope you can find some middle ground to make things work smoother, the other thing is see if on the odd occasion he is comfortable you being at an appointment, for god sake dont insist on it and definitely don't got to all the appointments. Maybe once in a while if he comfortable so you can speak with team about how you as an external person thats sees him more frequently thinks he is doing. He's got to be able to be comfortable thou, it not just trust, depression hurts and some people don't like to be seen in what they feel is the lowest or weakest point
marie2486
Posted
elizabeth20203 marie2486
Posted
Best wishes.
Elizabeth.