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A couple of weeks ago I had a manic episode and one of the "brilliant" decisions I made was stopping all of my meds cold turkey. I held the belief that I was doing good, however on Monday night I had a complete break down and became suicidal. My nine year old heard my crying and ranting and came to try to console me. Despite the fact that I hate myself even more for allowing my daughter to be subjected to the dark aspects of this disease, her being their helped me calm down. Since then I have still been in a deep depression without suicidal thoughts but I want to quit feelings this way so I was going to restart my meds. My concerned father wanted me to make sure it was safe to restart my meds because of the high doses I normally take so i tried to get a hold of my psychiatrist, who is unfortunately on vacation. His assistant recommends that I go to the hospital and be admitted for observance because I have a lot of other health issues. I don't want to go to the hospital but I need to start my meds again. Should I bite the bullet and go in?
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