Should I see my doctor?
Posted , 3 users are following.
Well, okay sorry to bother anyonw who reads this......but I am in a bad way...in the sense that I was doing really well. Felt confident about my situation etc. This was after having ahad a weekend away, and some reassurance from my Father. Following this, I received a letter from my stepmum-dont knkow where she coming from. My entire family has read it. My mum laughed, my sister laughed. My dad told me to calm down. My children asked what was wrong? My ex laughed. My stepdad laughed. I cried! I felt hurt, confused, felt like I was being used as I am at my most vulnerable. How audacious can one person be?
Okay, calming now having wrote that. Sorry Ive been crying since yesterday after having had a good week.
Now, Ive been getting cramps, thought I was going to die at work, and back to anxiously running to the toilet. Im fed up having sore stomachs.
The good news is i am filling out yet another housing application, and exploring other ways of getting out of here :shock: :o :D I am scared though.
0 likes, 6 replies
madmouse
Posted
Some people and i just don't mean families but ,friends,neighbours and work colleagues. Don't seem to realise the effect how just a simple joke or and act of laughing, has on some one with depression.
Try to look on the positive side of things, you said you have had a good week,which is a major achievment.
Good luck with the housing.
I hope all goes well for you, and keep battling on.
madmouse
john729
Posted
Guest
Posted
Then theres this letter-my mad disorganisation skills are driving me crazy so much that, grrrrr, I want to sort it, but its never my priority to do so. I want it to be like my mothers house, neat warm , cosey , cocmfortable etc, Sometimes it is, but other times ....anyway, its not that bad, but its not that good either.
Thi is my madness though, I just always throw the real issues under the rug , then find something else to worry about. Whne Im most upset I concentrate on my size, usually as I feel big or something. Like today I satrted to get paranoid about the sixe of my chin( I nkow its not important) but its what I do. I dont knkow if anyone can understand this-does anyone understand what im saying? Anyway, I wanted to add-when I first started citalopram-20mgs, I was jumpy - more so than ever, I was really tired but couldnt sleep, I walked for miles, I lost my apetite. Now....and remeber Ive taken it for ages, I cant stop sleeping, I dont seem to face my realities,( I dont want to). i cry when things upset me, but im more socialable. My mum and sister have been my best support..Ive put on weight, my knees feel like they have fluid or something in them...and while I go off to a tangent....I hate this remark:we spoke about it the other night, dont you remeber?\" Followed by , :Look darling ( grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!) look darling ( scrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaammmmm) Im going to do my dissertation on domestic abuse and the unseen, a cross cultural study! Ok, Im getting carried away -didnt mean to wirte all this.all I want is my bed, I want to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppp!!!How do dactors and those I dissaprove off 9 lawyers do it?Okay, im going now...the rambles of an idiot are above. got to go. take care.
madmouse
Posted
Is there any way you could de-stress your life a bit. I know this can be difficult. Perhaps you could also make some me time. When you can just do something for you, maybe go out and have a coffee or sit at home with a book for an hour. something that you want to do.
What are you studying at uni?
any how, stick with it
madmouse
Guest
Posted
madmouse
Posted
Perhaps you could see your G.P or talk to the nurse about your stomach problems. It can't help the depression if you are worried about stomach aches. When i was really low in november and had some chest pain I started to think the worst, like i was going to have a heart attack and die. I think that has something to do with being low mood. It sounds like you had a good time at the pictures. Use this when you are feeling low as another positive. If you still have the letter, maybe you should take it outside and burn it, because well it is still around, you maybe tempted to keep reading it, making you upset again.
stick with it.
madmouse