Should I stay or should I go now?

Posted , 3 users are following.

hello everyone. I'm new to the forum and hoping someone might have some advice for me. I'm not sure that advice is even the right word anymore as I've been over this so many times and still no further forward. 

Im 44 now and back in May was made redundant after 20 years in the same company. By coincidence my partner had also lost her job through unfair dismissal so we both had some cash and decided to take a year out, travelling and working. 

We had managed to secure a ski job in December but our plans came to a crashing halt on the eve of our year out when she decided that she didn't want to travel and instead went home to Poland where she now has a job and living with family. 

I didnt want want to give up on the Dream as my house had been rented and more to the point I figured that this might be the only time in my life to travel. It's taken forever but I've finally managed to get what looks to be a good job in the Alps though I'm still waiting for the contract. 

at the same time I've been looking for places to go for the next 4-6 weeks but every time I go online I start to panic and my brain boggles To the point that I cannot make any decision. I'm now thinking do I even want to go away by myself?

i have travelled by myself before and I remember it being very mixed, fun at times when I met people and did activities but it could be very lonely at times. 

I ju just don't know what to do. Will going away help or am I better off trying to find something here and rebuild myself. I feel that if I were to have a job or focus here in the UK at least I would be with my friends and family instead of potentially by myself but I'm worrying about what if scenarios and can't seem to stop worrying. 


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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Ok so the first thing you have to know is...this is in your control.

    Whatever you decide to do. Whether it be here or away,that choice is yours. 

    Don't look at it as a negative that you are unable to decide. Look at it as a positive that you are in a very fortunate position that you have options.

    You don't have to decide now. You don't have to decide tomorrow. You can kick back and relax for a while until your mind tells you what is the best option for you.

    When you relax and realise that there's no big rush I think the answer will just come to you and that will be the right decision.

    I think both sound terrific but what's more important is making the right decision for you at this point in your life.

    If you feel that you need the security of family and friends right now,then put the other thing on hold. you never know in a few months time you may just get a lightbulb moment and think "I'm ready,I'm packing my bags and I'm out of here"!!!

    Just relax. You have your whole life ahead of you xx

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    • Posted

      Thanks for your reply Gillian

      You're right- this is in my control and I do have options. I know that I'm my on worst enemy when it comes to making big decisions like this.

      A big part of me was lost when my partner decided to leave and I believe my best choice is to remain here with friends and family until I actually want to go! It does seem somehow as if that's admitting defeat as I've been planning this for so long but I know that forcing myself to go away to overcome my anxiety doesn't seem like the solution.


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    • Posted

      See so you have answered your own question.

      Hey it's not admitting defeat. Just call it a postponement. Your not saying you are never going to go...Your saying "not right now"!!! 

      You are doing what feels right for this point in your life. I'd say that was a wise choice. You would be forcing yourself to go away probably just to prove something to yourself but if you are feeling a little vulnerable it's best to put that idea to one side until you are totally strong and secure in yourself.

      I personally think that whatever you do,you will be ok but it's also ok to change your mind. If you did decide to go and you weren't feeling your best,,then you can just come home. Nothing is set in stone. It's all in your hands xx

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  • Posted

    Just travel...
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