Should I still feel like this?

Posted , 8 users are following.

Hi people I didn't know where else to ask this but I feel really sad today and guilty too. My dad died on Easter Sunday and I was meant to be at Church now, but couldn't do it. My family have all gone on holiday and again my husband and I are left here to cope with his death alone. Should I feel bad that I couldn't face Church but equally that I would have liked this once after 6 years to be considered even to not be alone on Easter Sunday. I am really down my dad meant the Earth to me too. I feel alone even with people as my poor dad is not here. Does this sound like depression and the reason for my doctor to just offer me antidepressants given everything else I am going through? For someone's death?I already have a counsellor so can't my doctor support me like my counsellor does? Just feel numb and broken!

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10 Replies

  • Posted

    Sam

    You are grieving, Today is Easter Sunday and you have been left with a very difficult situation.

    Was your Father in Hospital when He died or at home ? Whatever the situation is and where you live in the World you will need to make some decisions regards your Fathers remains.

    Do you know who your Mother has gone on holiday with and where they are staying. If not the holiday company may be able to help.?

    Has your Mother or any family members taken their mobiles this may help you contact them.

    You will be feeling stressed also distressed. I do not know your family dynamics so it is hard to suggest a way forward at this time that can help you. I would suggest you contact other family members that may be able to help

    Has your Father been taken to a Morgue or did He die in the home etc

    BOB

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  • Posted

    Being sad after a death is absolutely normal, and can last for a long time. Anniversaries of deaths of loved ones can trigger bouts of extreme sadness. Try to remember the good things about the deceased person, happy memories, celebrate their life rather than mourning their death. We all die. It's how we live that matters. 

     

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    • Posted

      Hi Kim and Bob, I have spoken to my husband, my dad's death was 6 years ago. This is all to do with family they have done this since the year he died, arranged a holiday around Easter when my dad died. I can sort of cope knowing my dad isn't here. I can't cope being alone out of all my mum's 3 girls. Yes 3! He died at home, at 2.25am Easter morning. This is all of their doing. Bxxxxxxx! I am going out. To the shops, away from here. Sorry ladies to put a dampener on today.x

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  • Posted

    You may still be sad about your dad. I’m so very sorry. It may have been on your mind that could be why you are feeling sad. 

    Don’t guilt yourself out over Church. Sometimes it’s too hard. If you constantly feel low, and experience crying and tiredness and not wanting to do anything at all contact a professional.

    You can always come back here and vent or talk. 

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  • Posted

    Of course you feel the way you do. It called grief and is perfectly normal. Let yourself cry, feel lost and abandoned. Let it out don’t expect anything from yourself. You will feel this way every Easter for a while but in years it does get easier. Try to remember your family members may be experiencing grief too but express it differently. ❤️
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  • Posted

    Hi Sam..it is not unusual at all to feel like this. Everybody is different and grieve different. There's no set time to stop grieving. I wouldn't feel guilty for not going to Church either. You can say prayers anywhere and think of your Dad anywhere. I would go back to the Doctors. I'm on Citalopram....seretonin....tell the Doctor you are still depressed. You have to believe your Dad isn't suffering anymore and that he is happy. Would he want you to feel like this?....I doubt it....I don't know if you have kids....but you will get better....

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  • Posted

    Sam

    I picked up you had just lost your father today, Easter Sunday, I did not pick up from you this was the 6th year of your Loss.

    If you are still grieving after such a long time, I would imagine AD medications may help You granted lost someone in the past, dwelling on a loss after such a long time your Counsellor will need to know you are still grieving and you will need to move on. Generally speaking two years will pass and the person should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel of Grief. We never get over a loss however we need to move on and consider given a long time you will meet those who have gone before on the other side. A celebration will be had when meeting those you knew and many relatives you have never met before

    BOB

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    • Posted

      Hi Bob, I don't always feel like this there are underlying reasons that are being discussed in counselling involving my family that need discussing but my doctor knows this too. I will take antidepressants over my dead body, there is no way no how! I only felt this for a while and I'm OK now, though I had thumping headache for a bit!

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  • Posted

    Hi I can't really add to what's been said but I just thought maybe your families way of dealing with your dad's passing is to go on holiday?  Do you think this would help you too?

    I think you have to do what makes you feel most comfortable so don't beat yourself up for not going to church.  Anniversaries are always very hard aren't they?  Take care.  x

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    • Posted

      Hi hypercat, I don't have any problem with them getting away to cope, what does get me is that I am not invited when it was my dad too. Did I not lose him too? I'm sure I saw him die. Any way that's why I was irritated, not any other reason. Thank you. X

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