Should I tell about herpes before we kiss?

Posted , 3 users are following.

I've been dating a guy for only a few days now (5), and I really like him. We've hung out almost every day and cuddled a bit but I've been putting off kissing because I have hsv 1 & 2. I know he's waiting for me to make the first move. Some people say that kissing is OK, but I'm so nervous about it without telling him that I have it first! I know most people already have hsv 1 & don't know, but I'm a nervous wreck! Is it too soon to tell him? We haven't known each other long but I'd feel like a deceiver somehow if I don't after all that we have discussed. Is he safe if we kiss? Should I just abandon ship lol

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi. I know exactly what your going through. I've been there. Actually, it's perfect time in my opinion to let it out. Just sit him down, have confidence and tell him. If he's a decent person he'll understand. Let him have room to make his decision and don't be afraid. I've only had one rejection and I'm glad that particular person rejected me now. The right person will except every part of you. Just remember that.
  • Posted

    Did you ever tell him about how you have both ? Did he take it good ? Or no ??

    Would love to hear the outcome !

    • Posted

      I did end up telling him over text, which may or may not have been the right way. He wasn't rude about it, but it was clear that he didn't understand it very well, so he distanced himself. I'm not too broken up about it because it was clear he valued physical intimacy over getting to know me better. I want to wait between 3 & 6 months before getting involved with someone in that way, so it worked itself out. I do wish I had waited at least 3 months before mentioning it, so that's what I'll do in the future. Since hsv 1 is so common (90% of pop.), I don't think I'll hold off on kissing unless I actually have a cold sore. Hope this helps!
    • Posted

      That happened to me once. He was ok with it then called me back and said he didn't want to pursue it. His loss, oh well. Just like in your case babe. The RIGHT man will accept every part of you. Chin up. smile
    • Posted

      That's what I'm trying to be strong for. Hopefully it's not just a fairy tail, guys like that...

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.