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Sibling Loss

Posted , 6 users are following.

lilly77723
lilly77723

Hello all, I hope everyone is having a great week. With that I'll get to it. I have a twelve year old son who lost his brother 4 years ago, my oldest. He's had his days where it gets to him, but this year has been very hard. It's the year he will outlive his big brother.

We do counseling and are very open in our house on his brother (our son) but so many many things have hit us as a family and I as mom cannot fix them :'( . He has stated he is very angry that his brother left him behind, I cannot fix his pain. And now he has come from school and stated one of his teachers asked if he has a brother named Hunter. He didn't know how to reply and everyone was starting at him. Luckily, his best friend is in all of his classes this year and helped him out. The teacher did feel very badly after finding out Hunter had passed.

This year just seems to be taking its toll on us all. I don't know, if just feels good to get it out. I don't have anyone to talk to about this so I'll just set it right here and hope you all kiss your babies daily and know if you ever feel unloved, I love you all.

Thank you for letting me share smile

1 like, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Whatever_next
    Whatever_next lilly77723

    Posted

    It's good to share. I feel his and your pain. No family is ever the same again after a death.

    I for one will aim to appreciate (and physically show affection to) my young children more than I have done after reading your moving post.

  • margaret21458
    margaret21458 lilly77723

    Posted

    Lilly,

    You are an incredible Mother!

    God bless you and your family. Although, I admire your strength....

    My heart aches for you my dear girl.

    You will all be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Thank you so much for your sweet words of advice,

    We all need a wake up call on how precious our loved ones are to us!

    And how short out lives can be.

    Much love sent your way,

    Maggie

  • debsmates
    debsmates lilly77723

    Posted

    What a fab mum you are and as a mum myself i admire you.

    What your family have been through is terrible and as a parent you just want to be able to take any pain or hurt away from your children, but you also need to be able to speak of your inner feelings or long term will really affect you.

    Anger is a normal responce for your son and it will pass..

    I wish you all the very best for your family and if ever you need to just 'vent' please do so. people do care and are here to listen. cheesygrin 

     

  • stevo1975
    stevo1975 lilly77723

    Posted

    Hi Lilly, 

    I really feel for you no parent should out live their children this is by far the most tragic thing that could happen and I cant imagine how hard it is. I can only say that you are very strong and your son also will grow to be very strong. My cousin drowned in his family pool over 24 years ago and it still rings clear in the family's mind anniversaries etc. his brother who was older was on his paper round and never got to say goodbye he is now a successful physio therapist that owns 2 businesses he is a real pride of our family super smart great and successful person and all because I believe he has never known defeat he has tried everything and never gives up! I think your son will follow suit because he has been faced with tragedy he will grow to be extremely resilent. I wish you the best Lilly please keep me posted on how things are going with you I cant really help but I can hear/read take care much love!   

    • lilly77723
      lilly77723 stevo1975

      Posted

      You are a very sweet person and I know he will do absolute great things, it's just nice to be reassured every now and again. All of you are so wonderful and I'm sure you're babies just show all of you.

      I am so very sorry for the loss of your family. Even 24 years ago was yesterday to a parent. . Much hugs and love sent their way.

    • margaret21458
      margaret21458 lilly77723

      Posted

      Lilly,

      There is so much love and compassion on this site. We are all here for you my dear girl.

      Your son is going to do great things! And your other son is an angel over your shoulder every minute of everyday!

      Maggie

      😘

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 lilly77723

    Posted

    Hi Lilly - so sorry to read of your pain and the tragedy that has fractured your family. I am not a parent so I am unqualified to fully understand the wrenching pain that losing a child can bring, but I needed to offer my love and hugs to you in your pain. 

    The anger he feels at having been left by his brother is natural, but I would like to say that his brother/your son has not really left anyone behind. He has moved on but is still part of you all. You will see him again. Best of luck to you and your family, everything will work out.

    • lilly77723
      lilly77723 wayne1962

      Posted

      Yes! Thank you so much. We use this situation to drive ourselves into positive moves forward. In order to see him again we must spread nothing but love and turn from hate and negative thoughts.

      Sometimes I have dreams where he and I are playing on his hospital bed, he's whole and well. I like to think those are motivational visits and give thanks for the blessing of those.

      I hope all of you on here know how much I appreciate the kindness shown, and please know you all are loved!

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