Sigh

Posted , 6 users are following.

I have been diagnosed with genital herpes about 15 months ago.. I thought I can live with it as it is not something that will cost my life. But I never fail to think about how dirty I am whenever I am doing something happy. I always feel the tremendous amount of disappointment. I am suffocating.. I don't know how to carry on living a normal life. Whenever I see my friends getting so carefree and happy about their life, I can only be envious about it. Why.. Why did god let this happen to me... I can't do this anymore, I can't.. You know the feeling when you can never get out of a bad situation and you have to live with it every single day the moment you wake up? Life is so perfect before I got diagnosed, I was that happy boy in his twenties living life to his fullest.. One stupid mistake costed him his life.. I need some help here.. i really do...

0 likes, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh honey. You can't be so down on yourself. Things happen. I'm living with it as well. Don't let it get you down so much. You'd be surprised with how many people have herpes, or even any std. I believe I saw a poster before that says 2/3 people will have an std before the age of 25. It's not easy no. But you have to look at the positive side and not stress,  stressing only makes it worse. Promise. I had to come home from the hospital and tell my boyfriend and pray he didnt think I cheated on him. Youll find a girl who will except it as well. 
  • Posted

    Hello there.

    I think you are suffering from anxiety and maybe a little depression. Your words speak very loudly of sadness.

    Please believe me when I say that this is not the end of your life. It's not ideal but it's just one part of you. I'm sure you have so many positive things about you but yet your focus is on this one thing. 

    Maybe if you spoke to your doctor and ask if there is a possibility of some counselling. Just to get you in a better place mentally.

    You know what I do know about you. Is that you are a very sensitive,conscientious young guy. I know of at least two lads in my town who have this and don't give two hoots...even laugh about it. Now I'd say there was something very wrong with them that they think it's a laughing matter,where as you feel devastated. 

    You will learn all there is to know about genital herpes make all the right choices sexually. I know that. You will meet somebody one day who loves and respects you enough to educate themselves so you can have a perfectly normal home and sex life.

    Yes there will be precautions you have to take but everybody takes precautions.

    You made one mistake. That doesn't make you a bad person. Please be kinder to yourself. Your not the first person of been unlucky with something like this and you won't be the last. Ease up on yourself and start to focus on all that you have toying for you and all you have to give xxx

     

  • Posted

    To Tobi and Gillian, thanks alot for replying that fast. I tried really hard to be happy and not giving a single F*** about it but I just couldn't.. Yes, I have become very emotional and sensitive about everything in life now. I tried so hard to be myself again.. I tried.. But it just brings me back to a square one when the night falls.. when the loneliness kicks in..
  • Posted

    Hey sigh,

    I know how you feel, the when I found out I was absolutely mortified. I'm a young blonde successful woman, confident and outgoing, I don't sleep around but my new partner, he didn't know that he had it and I ended up with heroes. 

    I couldn't believe it at first, refused to believe it but the swabs came back positive. I felt ruined. I felt disgusting. I cried for days. Locked myself away and considered ending it all for how miserable I was. I didn't deserve this. No one deserves this. 

    I then got three outbreaks in one month. It was awful. I was more herpes than not herpes. That's when I decided to take action. I went back to the docs and asked to be put on a continual dose of aciclovir. Honestly. Best thing I ever did. I've only had this since the end of August but wow. The emotional turn around is amazing. I feel like I did before I even got It because I don't get symptoms anymore. 

    Yes. It js awkward telling a new partner. But all it is at the end of the day is cold sores. About 70-80% of the population has some form of herpes virus. Good chance your next partner will already have it !!!

    Before I got herpes, I was terrified of it. Absolutely terrified. It was so gross and disgusting. Now, I'm just not so bothered about it. Obviously I don't want it and I wish I didn't have it and I do get down every now and then. But I'm not depressed anymore. There's no point letting something so trivial stop you do anything else. No point letting it hold u back in life. When all it is is the odd blister every now and then. 

    It helped to tell me friends my partner had given me a cold sore. I didn't tell them I had genital herpes but talking about it made it feel just not that big a deal. I also found out my bro gets cold sores. That's half my family who have the herpes virus !!! I felt so much better about myself when I found that out. 

    Don't give up. If u get symptoms still go to the doc and get out on to a suppressive dose. 

    New partners, if you don't feel happy discussing it, say u are prone to coldsores or the coldsore virus. Less harsh on the ears than herpes. Tell them there is a risk they could contract it upstairs or down below. There. You've told them the risk without freaking them out. 

    Life moves on. You will move on. Herpes isn't that big of a deal. You're not ruined. You are exactly the same as you were before herpes. 100%the same. You just need to see that and get some confidence back. 

    Good luck. 

  • Posted

    Hey guys, I felt really good after reading what you guys have said. Yes, I figured it's time to go out there and start again. I am not gonna let this virus take control of my life. There's more to it! Just wanna ask, as I grow older, will herpes cause any other dieseases? Or it will just stay as it is now and forever? Thanks guys
    • Posted

      Hey sigh

      So glad you are feeling better smile just give it all time and the situation improves, I know mine did smile but if you do get bad symptoms still, get back to see a doc and go on a suppressive dose of the drug. I've had some really good doctors and they've been very supportive. 

      I did a lot of research when I first caught the virus, I probably know EVERY single thing about it haha. Herpes does not make u more prone to anything more other than catching other Std's such as HIV / aids. This is only because, if you have sex when you are experiencing a breakout with open blisters or sores, if you have sex with someone with HIV / aids, it can get in to your body easier. It can also make you slightly more resistant to the other form of herpes once you already have one I think (hsv2 or hsv1). But be aware, you can catch both !!!!!!!!! 

      I learnt the hard way, I guess you did too, the risk of having unprotected sex sometimes is just not worth it. Even when the other person is adamant they have nothing, sometimes they just do !!!. Make sure in the future you use a barrier contraceptive like condoms when you have sex before you get to know someone. Condoms are pretty unsexy and gross, but they could save your life smile 

  • Posted

    Here in Australia the man that invented the HPV VACCINE is almost finished the trials for his HSV-2 Vaccine & it's looking like it won't be long now til it's available ! So eager to get it!! I had the hpv one years ago & he's awesome

    , he will heal thousands and thousand of suffers because it is an Actual CURE.

     NOT a preventative vaccine !!

    • Posted

      That's awesome news Victoria.

      I myself don't have it but joined the forum a few weeks ago while awaiting HIV results. I'm a regular in the anxiety and depression forum because while awaiting results I got myself into a bit of a mess.

      I kept this forum because after my results all came back ok, I wanted to help others who may be going through similar things.

      Im so glad you are in a better place sigh...It really isn't the end of the world. Like the other people said,it could of happened to anybody,it could of happened with the first person you slept with. Millions have it and millions more will get it. It's just unfortunate. You could hold a persons hand and get scabies. You could grip the handle on the bus and catch the flu. You could get to close to somebody on the tram and get nits. 

      Things happen. They may not be ideal but it doesn't make you no less a man. 

      From what I can gather,..it won't be something that effects your life unless you have a breakout and for lots of people,them are very rare xx

  • Posted

    Hi there 

    i am happy to hear you are better and looked for help and support here. This is  what i experienced as well, in my darkest moments i got some comfort from others in this forum, even i did probably not post myself, but read how people in this community help each other and provide emotional support.... 

    I live in germany, and here is not any forum to discuss this disease that goes along with more than just some blisters - depression, feeling dirty, losing a relationship, lose trust in people etc....... So i am glad my english is good enough to join this group. 

    One would think we are an advanced country, but when it comes to a herpes infection we are apparently not....

    You may want to read what my personal view now is and how i cope now with my infection, after trying everything out . ( see my recent post ) .

    Aciclovir did not help me unfortunately, not to full extent, nor did pineapple :wink), so i try to find out my own way. 

    I am a certified coach, and those whohave insights into this, know that the hardest part is to coach yourself. But i kept on asking myself the question what the positive intention could be behind the fact, that i got infected. 

    This continuous to be a hard question to be answered, but i am on my way...

    My life was like a rollercoaster, in a positive way.... Always on the road, highest highs, and lowest lows in between. Now i became much calmer, i take more care of myself, i listen to myself and my inner feelings, and i do not ignore them anymore.  

    I try to stay away from things and people that are no good For me and i focus on those, that do me good. 

    It is a tough lesson, but i started to learn. It was anyway time for a change. 

    I have had the most challenging 6 months with the darkest moments ever since i got infected. Now there is somehow a turning point, my humour is back and my good mood, often wink)). 

    What i read in your post is that you became more emotional and sensitive. And you react differently on things. All of us " develop" with this infection, we are still the same person, but we move a step further  in life ! To undergo a herpes infection, survive it, make the best out of it, hide it from others, suffer from the pain, continue to move on, makes us more mature. We are the same person afterwards, but we are a step ahead due to the experience we make. 

    Probably this is your individual positive answer to your herpes: to be more sensitive and emotional now , in the most positive sense of it. 

    Just a thought..  

    You are now already stronger than ever before.  

    Best to you !

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