Signed off work for a week

I am at work now. I am already panicing, i really hate this and want to escape so badly.

Life sucks

Paul

Have been thinking about you this morning, if it's still to bad then you may still need time away perhaps long term sickness? If i was you i'd go back to the dr's and explain how your feeling.

Well i saw the doc on friday and also had last prozac tablet, so just on mirt now and my sleep has now started to become distirbed again kept waking up over the past few nights. Although i had a good day yesterday i feel low today and feel that the darkness is trying to creap back into my life.

I just seem to think i'm turning a corner and it's there waiting for me begining to wonder when this dark hell will end.

I try to see the positive side of life but its so hard. Kids are on holidays this week and i should be enjoying time with them but I find i'm snapping at them but i don't know why?

Well I pray that your anxiety eases through out the day and it's not so bad and it will improve for you. let me know how you get on.

Best wishes

Mike

I can totally relate to you Paul...Prior to my course of mirt, i used to muster 2-3 hours sleep a night at most and then face a day of hell at work. I totally broke down and i really don't know how i managed to have so few days off, i had to literally force myself in.

I've just finished Mirt and the sleepless nights seem to be returning already, i really dread a return to those dark days prior to the Mirt.

Does anybody know about the legal sickness entitlements in terms of pay and length of time off pertaining to depression?

Try and keep strong Paul, hope your day has turned out better?

In answer to you question I think it depends on the company you work for and the there sick leave policy in my case i get 50 days full pay and then 80 days half pay, and i'm coming up to nearly two and half months off and i'm still nowhere near being right or even fit for work.

but as far as i'm aware they can't sack you for being mentally Ill as this could breach the disabilities act but i'm not 100% sure on that.

mike

I really don't know how to carry on. I left work last night a mess. I got myself so upset. I feel so trapped, with no end to this nightmare anytime soon. I am back at my desk again this morning and already feel i am going down hill, i so desperately want to be positive and just get on, but it is so hard and i really just want to go home and cry.

Bye for now

Paul

It's frustrating isn't it, i've had to lock myself in the gents for over an hour at a time before now, returning to my desk with red eyes and facing a barrage of questions..

If you feel this way perhaps its best to embrace what the mind desires and take a further leave of absence. At least the time off will help you better prepare for an eventual return and try to combat it?! Do you have an understanding line manager that you could talk to?

Please make an appointment with your Doctor and seek further help, and if you need a further period of time off then it can only help you try and get some normallity back and a chance for the doctor to get your medication right.

As for me I the think the prozac is now out of my system and the mirtazapine does not seem to be working now i'm so low this morning it's unreal i just just seem to have been enveloped by this dark cloud I feel the world would be a better place with out me if my thoughts don't improve over the next day or two i'll go back to the doctors.

I too don't know how i'm going to cope, i have this meet a week today to try and find away forward to get me back to work.

I hope you have a better day today but if you are struggling then PLEASE see your doctor.

take care and keep intouch

Mike

Sorry to hear the Mirtazapine isn't working for you, what dosage are you on? Do you take any other meds besides the Mirt? Since i've stopped i've had thoughts of insignificance and major lows, often accompanied with random fits of rage for no apparent reason. Disturbed sleep doesn't help, i'm sure it can all be put down to withdrawl symptoms but if it doesnt clear up soon im going to book myself back in with the GP and discuss my options.

I was on Prozac when i was first diagnosed with depresion at the begining of december 2008. this didn't work and has side affects with them too. over the last 2 weeks i've been withdrawing from the prozac but at the same time startred the Mirt on the low dose of 15mg.

Since i've stopped the prozac some of the other symptoms have come back feeling really low, i think i'm snapping at my familly but don't realise i'm doing it and can't be bothered to eat unless i force myself.

Ireally feel at my wits end and seems that this will never end. I know i'm in this for the long haul but just seems endless at the moment is this a normal feeling in depresion?

Can't see anything positive in my life at the moment appart from the wife and kids i feel i'm in a living hell.

mike

Yes this unfortunately is all part and parcel of the depression, i also have a strong sense of worthlessness, unlike you though my appetite is ravenous, i can never seem to stop eating. This is more than likely due to the Mirtazapine but can also be attriubted to depression (comfort eating).

How did the Prozac work for your mood? Have you tried any therapy at all?

I have made some progress today. I sat down with my boss and told him i can't cope. I said that i am struggling with the work and the environment. I have asked to work from home for a while and he was very willing. He said to me that my health is most important and if i am able to work from home good, but if i need a walk, or find relief from painting the walls then do that instead. It was very understanding of him.

I am now in my parents study working from home. The change of scenery did not start that well. I still felt i could not cope with the whole thing, but this afternoon has been ok. I don't know how long they will let me work from home for, or whether i will cope when i return to the office. But for now i will plod on and see if i can make some improvement.

I really am unsure what the underlining cause of my anxiety/depression is, whether it is coping with the work or actually that i dislike work. But all that i know is my mind throws it all out of proportion, even if i hate my job. It's just a job, so i should be able to see it that way. But i don't, when my mind has finished working itself up, i am almost ready to top myself.

Anyway, i return to the doctor on Thursday. Not sure what help that will be, but here's hoping.

Mike, i am sorry that you are slumping again. My thoughts are with you, i really understand what you are going through.

He-Man. How are you coping at work at the moment, or are you on sick leave yourself. Have you learn't to focus your thoughts on the good. The things which i am having most trouble with. I wonder if yoga or meditation would help control the irrational thoughts in my mind.

Take care. Bye for now

Paul