Signs of childhood sexual trauma?
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This is really embarrassing to put on display, but I'm desperate. I didn't know where to post this. I've asked my mom if I was molested as a child, and she says that she's wondered that herself but cannot say for sure.
I started masturbating very young, when I was around 7. I fantasized about very dark things, even at that age. I masturbated so much that my genitals were bruised and swollen. I restrained myself at least once around this time. I didn't even know that sex was a thing, all I knew was that it felt good. Also around this time was when I first attempted suicide.
When I was 11 I started cutting, and when I was 14 I developed a distorted body image and greatly restricted my eating. I lost my virginity at 16, and was very promiscuous. Also around this time I began drinking and smoking.
Recently I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, so I don't know what's a result of that and what could be signs of possible molestation. Any thoughts, advice, questions and/or next steps are greatly appreciated.
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