Sister depressed for 10 years, nothing seems to help
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hello people! I'm 31, I have a 30yo sister diagnosed with panic disorder. She's been to all kinds of doctors for 10 years and nothing changes for her, even taking medicine.
She lives with my mom and dad and I live far from them, in another state.
Both my parents are very demanding and quick to criticize (they almost never have good stuff to say) and shes very sensitive.
She doesn't study, doesnt work, hates meeting people, she doesnt pick up the phone or even use social media.
She's never happy, she cries and gets angry, violent and takes on personal discussions about simple stuff.
I tried talking to my parents, but they're stubborn and they dont want to change.
Every time they argue with her she cries a lot and threatens to kill herself.
I've told her she needs emotional independence from them, since she's always expecting some compliment and can never take even the smallest of critics.
Told her she can't expect people to make her happy, since it's not anyone's duty to do so.
She stays home all day.
She's very beaultiful, talented, smart.
Ive tried everything, but when I talk to her she talks to me like I would never understand her mental condition. Like I am a complete ignorant and that everything i say is worthless.
I dont know what to do anymore. I wanna help her. What should I do?
1 like, 8 replies
kimd030 ligia60304
Posted
I'm not sure what to advise but please don't give up on her. Can she move to be with you?
She must want to help herself even a little before change can be made Hun. You could tell her till you are blue in the face but she must try aswel. Does she want help?
I wish you so much luck. She is lucky to have you xxx
ligia60304 kimd030
Posted
She knows I can't give her all this comfort, so shw won't move with me.
Even when I ask her to visit me there, she won't. She wont visit anyone or travel anywhere.
I agree with you with the part that she have to want it first herself.
But how so? Is there any possible way I can help with that?
I am nearly desperate.
Too much fighting, it´s like my family isnt happy anymore...
kimd030 ligia60304
Posted
ligia60304 kimd030
Posted
When I ask her things she simply refuses to answer me or starts blaming her condition or my parents or society itself.
Asking her and giving her time to think about it is something i've never tried though.
Im always afraid or her thinking she's got no way out and do something stupid like harming herself.
But i'll give it a shot, Thank you!
joyce46400 ligia60304
Posted
Hi I agree she needs to break free from your parents if they are not supportive to her. God forbid but if they passed away she would have to stand on her own two feet. Can she move near you so that you can help. I love my sister and would do my upmost to help her in any problem as I know you are doing with yours. I think that once she is able to stand on her own with your help she will start gaining her confidence back. Just keep a very good eye on her as she will falter along the way and need your help. Good luck Ihope it all works out.
ligia60304 joyce46400
Posted
And that too make them nervous and anxious as well.
She always refused moving with me or close to me, since with my parents she's got all the comfort I cant offer her. I do believe living far from my parents would do a real good to her character.
But on top of the financial comfort, she's also got a boyfriend at where she lives (in the exact same situation as her - 30yo, depressive, no job, dont study, only stays at home, etc). So It's really hard to change her mind on it, as i keep trying to.
Every time i tell her something she doesnt agree she gets angry and cries and says I dont know anything. Sometimes she runs to her boyfriend as he always agrees with everything she does.
Pointing out im never agressive with her, ever...
Maybe Im doing something wrong?
rhian61976 ligia60304
Posted
ligia60304 rhian61976
Posted