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I have the horrible habit of popping all the pimples on my face, back, shoulders... even when they are microscopic. I can spend hours everyday in front of ther mirror damaging my skin even though I only have mild acne. Everytime I pop, I promise myself it will be the last time but I keep on doing it over and over again. Sometimes I just want to stay home and hide because I feel so bad and my skin is all messed up with wounds and scars. I put a lot of make up to hide everything and I hate going to places where I cannot hide (pool, sleepover...). I don't like to stay outside (in the sun) because I feel people can see every detail of my damaged skin.
When I have a clean skin, I feel so good and happy ! People find me beautiful and I want to go out instead of hiding.
I don't know if I suffer from dermatillomania (skin picking disorders) because the causes of this disorder do not fit with my personnality and I don't feel mentally sick. I am always happy and energetic. I am never stressed or anxious : actually I tend to be very detached and unemotional.
I think I will hardly ever be depressed because I am optimistic as I always see the positive side of things. I have a good life, a nice family, I am successful in my studies, I also play music.... Only this problem keeps me from being fully happy and I don't understand why I suffer from it and how I can treat it.
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