Sleep difficulty; advice?

Before I start, I am well aware that I am not the only person who struggles to sleep, and don't mean to downplay anyone's condition; I'd simply like some advice.

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I'm a 19 year old male, and since I was a kid (I don't remember what age, but I was really young), I've had difficulty sleeping. I remember trying to convince people that "I sleep with my eyes open" and, quite a bit later, "I don't know how to sleep" because at the time that's what I legitimately believed. It's NOT that I absolutely cannot sleep, but I struggle to get myself to fall asleep.

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When I was a kid, I couldn't fall asleep, and would lie in bed until, the mental wear I guess? was enough to make me fall asleep; like until I couldn't stay awake any longer. Well, that's how I remember it, and it definitely felt like I was up at least 4 hours a night. I understand that these are the memories of a child, and not necessarily accurate.

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Anyway, for as long as I can remember it's been about the same. At some point I would occasionally check the time and note the latest time I saw the next day. This showed me to be awake for a number of hours, and it seems like the number of hours has increased as I got older. At some point during matric, I really wanted to finish as soon as possible, and my school system was effectively homeschooling, so I could work at my own pace. I started working until midnight every day, and then got up at 3 A.M. to continue before going to school. This carried on for about 3-4 weeks. Honestly don't know if this was even relevant, but to me, I can't say I felt more tired than usual, and, if anything, I'd say my sleep felt more consistent/stable.

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When I was younger I didn't particularly feel tired or strained. From about Grade 8 I started constantly feeling that I wasn't performing as well as I could. Currently, I always feel tired/drained.

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Currently I don't work and study from home, and my pattern lately has been to go to bed at around midnight, try to fall asleep until 3-4, wake up again at 6-7, and then due to the lack of social responsibility and possibly the comfort of bed/drowsiness? I stay in bed and get broken sleep (about 30 mins every 2 hours) until after midday. The past few days my feelings have been 'Screw it, if I don't feel like I'll be able to fall asleep I won't even try' and the sleep after spending a full night after being awake is definitely easier to get into, though the broken pattern in the morning still happens, and the next day I once again don't feel like sleeping.

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Honestly, I don't expect anyone to read this bloody long rant, but if anyone does, I can't say it wouldn't make me juts a bit happy. Even if you just scoff and regret the time of your life that I wasted, it's nice to listened to I guess.

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On the off chance that anyone does read this, any advice would be hugely appreciated. I've searched for commercially available chloroform (and was disappointed to find the health risks), I've tried a bunch of breathing/thinking techniques, I've tried teas etc., I've tried both active (exercise) and inactive resting before going to bed, and I've tried sleeping elsewhere besides my bedroom (since I heard that sleep environment can be a factor), and haven't gotten anywhere.

• Am I being an idiot?
• Is it due to a pattern/habit that can be broken?
• Are there actions or patterns that would make it better or easier to handle?
• Should I just accept it and do nothing? (though that's pretty much where I'm at)
• Is staying up when I don't believe I'll be able to sleep a really bad decision? I.e. Should I force myself to always go to bed?
• Others who experience this, what do you do?

P.S. Anyone who made it this far, sorry. But seriously, thank you.

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