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sorry its been a while but I've been in a living nightmare for the last month or so and too ill to be bothered trying to figure out how to work the laptop!!! (amazing how everyday things can become such impossibly difficult tasks :? )
I've been lucky enough to have one virus after another and completely unable to get back on my feet lately, developed a lovely crop of very painful boils and have become awfully allergic to penicillin which resulted in major breathing difficulties and needless to say ended up with big time depression - started wondering what the point is, don't feel like I'm living anymore just existing and a burden to everyone around me. Have also discovered I don't seem to have any friends any more and when I do occasionally hear from anyone they seem most uncomfortable and eager to get away - almost like a duty visit or call. Bouncing back out of the depression now though - sod em all!!!! Anyway I've been having this really horrid, frightening new symptom - sleep paralysis - it is the worst thing I've suffered so far. I thought my legs giving way was bad enough but at least I could move them. Its happened 3 times now over the last week, I wake up and I can't move at all, I can't even talk, just make a sort of "aaaaaaaaaa" sound but not very loud. I haven't found any mention of this in the 'living with ME' book I bought but when I put 'ME/CFS sleep paralysis' in the search engine a few sites did mention it. I was wondering if anyone else has had this. So far the times it has happened hasn't lasted more than about 5 or ten minutes (although it felt much longer) but it is a truly awful experience and I think its now contributing to my insomnia - I think I'm afraid to sleep in case I wake up paralysed. I haven't spoke to dr about it yet as he's been on holiday (isn't it always the way!!) so wondered what you guys thought.
Anyway hope you are all well, I am working my way through reading all the postings I've missed but theres hundreds and a whole load of new members too :D
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