Slipped disc and sex

Really sorry to hear that you are having this problem.  I from the other way around have been in a similar problem only after talking my wife understood that it was difficult.

This weekend my wife was out for drinks with her friends, I collected her at about 2 am and when we got home she wanted to make love. I ended up unable to get out of bed until Monday morning because I was in so much pain.

as a man I feel embarrassed because I can not do it as often as she wants but it is a medical issue and your partner should understand that.

Hi Poppy

I sympathise with you. I can understand how being in so much pain afterwards leaves you feeling distant and wanting to pull away. 

My husband has similar problems with the same discs, he's currently awaiting his surgery. We have found that trying different positions that have him at his most comfortable are the way to go. It is about patience understanding and communication with your husband so he understands how it leaves you feeling.

Talk to him and guide him in the most comfy position for you. Explain to him that sometimes it's not going to be possible because of how your back is. May be you can experiment and enjoy the play of different positions. It doest all have to be about penetrative Sex either does it.

It's difficult for partners to understand the severity of back pain if they've never experienced it . themselves. Your husband sounds like he's being quite selfish for his own needs to be met, what about yours? Have the discussion with him see what develops. 

I wish you well and hope you feel able to communicate how you feel so he'll be more sensitive in his approach. 

Wonder how he would be if it was him and the situation was reversed? 

Good luck.  Hope you can sort a solution between you both..

best wishes

purple Jane.

relax  on the sex a bit until you feel better and more able to enjoy it.

~Richard

Thank you for your replies, I have spoken about the issue, however it has gone on deaf ears he has become suggestive during the day non stop talking about it, even asking for me to wear certain underwear. I now don't even want to touch him in case he thinks it's a come on . He now thinks I'm depressed and need help. He really dosnt understand the pain I suppose because I look normal,he says he forgets . Like you all say unless you know the pain and have suffered this awfull back pain how can they understand.