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hello, any positive energy would be greatly appreciated! ive had very bad health anxiety for nearly 3 years, its nowhere near as bad as it used to be and i dont know if how im feeling now even has anything to do with my anxiety. basically for the last 10 months i have genuinley felt so fed up of everything and just feel BORED of life. i completely isolate myself from everyone, including all my friends, because i feel like everyone annoys me and i get angry if people try to talk to me (i know this isnt normal and i know theyre not actually annoying and its only because im unhappy in my own life - i dont show im angry or irrated and im never rude to people but inside i feel angry and just want to be left alone, i hope that makes sense) my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country in london (i'm in the north) so i only see him once or twice a month but he's the only person i talk everyday. but im even unhappy in the relationship due to the distance and other factors so i dont think thats helping the situation either. i cant remember the last time i went out with my friends and actually enjoyed myself. i go out once every few months now and everytime i do, i always leave early and feel like crying for no reason when im out. i also dont like going out because i dont want to project my bad mood vibes onto other people; just because im unhappy doesnt mean they should be too. i want everyone else to have a good time and not have me there ruining it. i havent always been like this which is why its hard for me to be this way because before my anxiety started i was the first person to be out and the last person to leave and would never turn down a drink and a party and i just loved socialising! i dont know whats happened to me and if im feeling this way because of my mental health or because im maturing but i have only just turned 21 and i see everyone else my age enjoying themselves and it makes me feel like im missing out and wasting my life. im always so tired but i think this is due to the fact i also suffer with binge eating disorder and i binge eat on junk food mostly every day - i feel like this is the only way i can cope with how im feeling but looking in the mirror and at my body makes me so unhappy. im stuck in a cycle and the same routine every day and i desperately want it to end. maybe i just need a drastic exciting change in my life?? thank you for reading and thank you for help
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