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so fed up with life and don’t know what’s wrong with me

Posted , 5 users are following.

mel49488
mel49488

hello, any positive energy would be greatly appreciated! ive had very bad health anxiety for nearly 3 years, its nowhere near as bad as it used to be and i dont know if how im feeling now even has anything to do with my anxiety. basically for the last 10 months i have genuinley felt so fed up of everything and just feel BORED of life. i completely isolate myself from everyone, including all my friends, because i feel like everyone annoys me and i get angry if people try to talk to me (i know this isnt normal and i know theyre not actually annoying and its only because im unhappy in my own life - i dont show im angry or irrated and im never rude to people but inside i feel angry and just want to be left alone, i hope that makes sense) my boyfriend lives on the other side of the country in london (i'm in the north) so i only see him once or twice a month but he's the only person i talk everyday. but im even unhappy in the relationship due to the distance and other factors so i dont think thats helping the situation either. i cant remember the last time i went out with my friends and actually enjoyed myself. i go out once every few months now and everytime i do, i always leave early and feel like crying for no reason when im out. i also dont like going out because i dont want to project my bad mood vibes onto other people; just because im unhappy doesnt mean they should be too. i want everyone else to have a good time and not have me there ruining it. i havent always been like this which is why its hard for me to be this way because before my anxiety started i was the first person to be out and the last person to leave and would never turn down a drink and a party and i just loved socialising! i dont know whats happened to me and if im feeling this way because of my mental health or because im maturing but i have only just turned 21 and i see everyone else my age enjoying themselves and it makes me feel like im missing out and wasting my life. im always so tired but i think this is due to the fact i also suffer with binge eating disorder and i binge eat on junk food mostly every day - i feel like this is the only way i can cope with how im feeling but looking in the mirror and at my body makes me so unhappy. im stuck in a cycle and the same routine every day and i desperately want it to end. maybe i just need a drastic exciting change in my life?? thank you for reading and thank you for help

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Catee
    Catee mel49488

    Posted

    I am also suffering from all this issues..

    • mel49488
      mel49488 Catee

      Posted

      its not nice is it 😦 i hope you get through it, hopefully these feelings wont last forever x

    • Catee
      Catee mel49488

      Posted

      I am suffering from last 4 years.. I hope it will soon finish..

  • sam18386
    sam18386 mel49488

    Posted

    Hi mel, i feel for you, this sounds like a very dark place to be. You need to see someone about this, i know how you feel as i wondered off 2.5 weeks ago and wasn't tempted about coming home, i didn't want to. I was gone for hours. It's a really dark place to be. You need 1 person on your side and tell either your doctor or some other health professional.i wish you luck and hope you get the support you need.

    • mel49488
      mel49488 sam18386

      Posted

      hi sam 😃 i understand that feeling, most days i feel like quitting my job and just moving somewhere else but i know that isn't possible. i've had therapy twice but it doesn't seem to work for me and i'm not having any self harm thoughts so i'd rather someone who really needs it gets the therapy sessions as there is a waiting list so i will research ways i can help myself. thank you for your reply, all the best take care of yourself xx

  • hikiaru
    hikiaru mel49488

    Posted

    Hi : D

    well well.

    I feel I can relate to some of the things you said. Such as feeling life is Boring and also being mad at people. I'm not always mad at people tho. But anyway.

    It seems like you might benefit from therapy. I don't know where you are o what your options are, but I believe it could really help you with that you are feeling. 😃 I myself am in a psychiatry right now. Ah, being positive, I get you. Sometimes it feels like there's nothing positive or even if we see it, we don't feel it (that is my situation right now anyway). Still... I saw an elderly woman here that looked genuinely happy today. And that made me genuinely happy. I'm not sure if I have much else positivity for you today : P take care mel ^^

    • hikiaru
      hikiaru

      Posted

      Oh, I hadn't read that therapy hadn't helped you in the past. Well. Maybe therapy isn't for everyone. Or maybe you need another therapist : D I see your feelings, you feel as if you might be blocking the way for someone else. But you are important too and something might click for you. Id say if you feel like you yourself can't help you through information (self-help stuff) then definitely seek therapy again. Wish you the best ^^

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