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So frustrated!!

Posted , 7 users are following.

sarah37908
sarah37908

And so it starts with the tears and emotions ... 2 weeks today I had my anterior repair and have been having an up to now fab recovery . I think I may have an j faction to which I get the results tmw but apart from that and feeling tired ( always resting when my body tells me too ) I have been feeling good . Managed 2 walks last Sunday and rang the hospital up to see if I have done wrong or if it was ok , they encouraged me to be out on walks and said it was great if I was feeling up to it. Hubby on the other hand has turned into a doctor overnight . Sick of him telling me to not do things . Mainly going for walks , which apart from those two last Sunday I haven't done anymore . He has been driving me around and visiting ppl if I've felt up to it , he went bk to work yesterday and I felt up to picking my little one up in the car so I drove my own car to get her and then nipped to the shop to get her some new school shoes , then back home and on the bed watching to for a good few hours ! There is no other way of getting my daughter from school ? Apart from my dad but he isn't the most confident driver and without sounding horrible I hate being in the car with him) so needs must . I am taking it easy round the house , no lifting , no hoovering , no hanging washing out etc ! He just won't let up saying I'm doing too much , it's getting me down and were argueing a lot !! Sitting in seperate rooms etc , I'm such an outgoing person and usually doing something with my day if I'm not working , being stuck in the house and not even being able to clean is taking its toll . Am so frustrated and keep crying today and it's not even lunch time yet , my friend is coming to pick me up to go for a coffee somewhere . Sorry for the ramble but I need to let off steam . I know he means well but he is now saying the nurse at the hospital shouldn't of told me I was ok walking ! I think she knows best !! Feeling very sorry for myself x

0 likes, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • Jan999
    Jan999 sarah37908

    Posted

    sarah how you feel is normal. We aren't programmed to sit around all day so having this surgery comes as a huge shock to the system. You sound as though you have lovely friends so make the most of them and I know husbands can be a pain but he's doing a great job in my eyes, looking after you. Let him fuss and spoil you. It would be the same if it was the other way round xx
  • Rosiepix
    Rosiepix sarah37908

    Posted

    Hi Sarah X sorry you're feeling down today X it is frustrating not being able to do much, by about week 5 I wanted to cave my husbands head in with the iron 😂. It's early for you to be driving did I send you the leaflet I was given? Also check on your insurance as you may not be covered if you have an accident. My op was 11weeks ago and apart from a couple of very stubborn remaining stitches I'm back to normal, if I ever was that is! Anyway lovely , chin up , don't do the hubby in, hope you are feeling better tomorrow xxxx
    • Jan999
      Jan999 Rosiepix

      Posted

      I didn't want to mention the driving Rosiepix x
  • Zoki
    Zoki sarah37908

    Posted

    Sarah I feel your pain. I had anterior repair nearly 5 weeks ago & my husband has been the same. One of his friends had the same op 3 years ago & she had to go back twice for further repairs. He keeps telling me & anyone that drops in that I will end up the same! I know he's concerned but enough already. It's nice in a way that they are concerned & want us to get better but being negative does not help. I'm with you, go for your walks. Your body will tell you when you've done too much. Hang in there xxx
  • sarah37908
    sarah37908

    Posted

    Oh believe me I want to cave his head in already at week 2 lol , Thanks ladies xx
    • Jan999
      Jan999 sarah37908

      Posted

      Would that be manslaughter? 😭😭😭
    • sarah37908
      sarah37908 Jan999

      Posted

      Yep would be manslaughter . In the grounds of not brig right in the head due to not being able to clean haha x
  • Jan999
    Jan999 sarah37908

    Posted

    Sarah Rosiepix has brought up a good point about the driving. Check with your insurance company, they may say you're covered (they are more lenient than before) but please be careful xx
    • sarah37908
      sarah37908 Jan999

      Posted

      Will do matron . My husband is on lates his week so is taking her in the mornings , and I'm going to ask a friend for some help in the afternoons , next week he is on mornings so I need to get her to school and he can pick her up . I was told by the hospital I can drive at 4 weeks but I guess 2 weeks is abit too early , going to have to try and find a way round it if I can , although I do feel fine driving x
    • Jan999
      Jan999 sarah37908

      Posted

      There is a test you can do to check if you can safely do an emergency stop, which is the issue with the driving recommendation however I think it's still too early to try it. I have mentioned it before, you have to stamp your foot on a hard surface, if it's painful then it's too early. It's because the pelvic floor muscles are involved when driving. Please don't try it though sarah, it's too early and I'd hate you to be in pain.
  • Beetlebugmik
    Beetlebugmik sarah37908

    Posted

    Sarah, 

    I feel for you and most of us here know exactly what you are going through.

    I couldn't drive until i was 7 weeks as i was physically unable to do the emergency stop. Luckily I had a good support system for my son to be taken and picked up from school but its been hard, im still not going out of town or any distances yet; just not ready.

    You will get there remember it takes time, enjoy your coffee and friend today, its good to see other humans lol. i felt sometimes in the first couple of weeks all i wanted was a chat with someone not in my house and feel a little bit of me again.

    Take it easy now and maybe let your dad do the school run just until you are ready to be back in control again, hopefully sooner than later.

    we have all been there with the cleaning i.e. my hoovering comments but i know i cant and i wont because i come first and if the house is dusty well so be it, but ill be ready and waiting in 4 weeks time

    take care my lovely

    Mik x 

     

  • robyn94818
    robyn94818 sarah37908

    Posted

    Big hugs Sarah. You CAN do this. I had no idea it was seen as "major surgery" until I joined on here at 4wks post-op. So I rested in bed for one day only, the day after coming home from anterior repair. I pottered around all day and worked hours on end in my home office. Went on road trip down country to our farm which is over 3hr drive. I didn't drive. Also went around the farm races in a 6 wheel gator only about a week post-op. I don't remember lifting too many heavy things, but certainly was picking up off floor. I used the Dyson DustBuster to vacuum as its hand held, not heavy, but had no idea that the bending over was potentially just as bad anyway! At my 6wk check my Surgeon said all was healed and I could resume my old life, but never lift heavy things again, including suitcases when we travel which we frequently do. I didn't go on big walks during that 6wk period. But certainly was up and about everyday as I was normally doing prior to surgery. I never went and laid down, let alone had a day rest with feet up!! So now I realise that I probably was just incredibly lucky Surgeon reckoned all was as it should be at 6wk check. I am a pedantic fuss pot in the house and I would have to have my feet chopped off to tie me down. I didn't need to drive as my husband retired at 54 (both of us are same age) so he is my driver anyway before and after. We have no independents at home. We have a huge house though with 8 bathrooms!!!
    • phyl_40063
      phyl_40063 robyn94818

      Posted

      You must have been incredibly lucky Roby, like you I was on my feet almost right away last time (3yrs ago), for hysterectomy and anterior repair and had to go back this year (beg march) to have the anterior repair redone and the posterior too.

      Have been really careful thus time and feel that the anterior repaid had been definitely successful thus time, posterior still a bit to go I think.

      But not taking any chances thus time don't want to have to go through this a 3rd time to the cist of the NHS or have to go on sick again, didn't go on sick last time and feel I've blighted my ' never been on sick ' record. Feel really guilty and don't want to be of again.

      Although I heal resonant quickly, I know I'm not one of the fastest healers, my hubby heals amazingly fast whenever he injures himself, the only time he didn't heal was when he crushed hus finger, went to emergency and they cleaned and dressed it,

      He gad it checked at later date and local nurse came in to clean and redress it, everyone missed the fact he had a bit of broken nail in the wound and as soon as he took if out himself it healed up very quickly.

      Don't know hoe everyone managed to miss the bit of broken nail.

      Anyhow it is amazing to see someone heal so fast; he has skin almost as thick as whale skin so don't know if that gas anything to do with fast healing.

      All the best,

      Phyl x☺

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