So frustrating.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Good morning group. This is more of a pity party for me than anything. Partway through my third week and I just feel so medicated and I hate it I do not feel like myself. I need encouraging stories of people that went through this exact thing. Did you feel off at first and when did you start feeling not so drugged? I just don't feel like myself and I hate it. I have no choice but to push on but the days are long and dark and it's all I can focus on. I hope everyone is well.

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32 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey Walter. What dosage are you on and how long have you been taking Cit??? I'm presently reducing off Cit and I also find i'm in a fog also. Part of my problem right now is because I'm scheduled to see an allurgist in 2 days and cant take any allergy meds at all!!!! Darn allergies. But I'm sticking to my plan. I suggest you stick with ur plan also Walter. Ur only 3 weeks in and these meds take their good ole time to work. Hang in there. Things will get better!!!!!

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  • Posted

    By medicated do you mean almost like foggy and spacey minded like u consistently feel just kind of weird in the head, very hard to explain but if so I am in the same boat and have been for about 5 months and no better since starting Celexa(citalopram) 3-4 months ago. I have a appt with the dr today cause one pupil is bigger than the other but when calling the dr has said they have seen this before with Celexa but my appt is today and I'm scared to death lol but I also have an appt Friday with a physciatrist to re evalute my meds and hopefully get me switched to something that does the trick for good with me,(my regular dr diagnose and chose my meds)cause this has been the worst year of my life lol I guess I also am throwing a pitty party ATM

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  • Posted

    Hi Walter,

    Nobody pity's anyone here, we understand what you are going through and help the best we can.   That is not just those of us that are nearly or through to the other side, but you will also find people where you are and that can make a lot of difference by sharing the load.

    Three weeks at 10mg and one thing that is good to know (though you won't feel that interested) is that this sticking plaster for the brain is actually working!  So far, the drugged/spaced/fuzzy feelings are usual and a sign that Cita is beginning to repair that which is damaged.

    There are a variety of side effects, all temporary, that you may or may not experience, as and when they arise we shall deal with them, but not before, because you just may be one of the lucky ones who does not get many and why worry over something that may not concern you?.  No one can say if you'll get any more, what you may get or the intensity of them.  This is because we are all uniquely different, no one is the same so, the best thing is to try not to worry about what you read in other posts (simply because they may not apply to you), do not over think things and if you find you are doing either of these then post your feelings and we'll get back to you.

    The main thing to remember is that Cita is not addictive.  Everyone usually starts on 10mg and this a very low dose, depending on the repairs it needs to carry out then you may (only may) need to increase at a later date.  When that will be no one knows apart from your GP/Doctor that is who, hopefully knows about these types of meds and knows you well enough to judge how you are doing and when (if need be) to increase.  Time is the main factor as SSRIs are not quick fixes, they need the time to repair you for you to then gradually recover.

    One thing we all must do is never look back, do not wish to be the old me or as I was because part of that person is the reason you are here.  I know it is difficult right now, but just try to go with all the cr*p and it will gradually get better, don't waste time wondering when, let go of the rudder and go with the flow. Remember you are not alone.

    Keep posting, no matter even if they seem silly or irrelevant, they are not and  someone will get back to you.

    In two days time we have the Winter Equinox and then the days start drawing out, it will eventually be bright and sunny again, just like you will!

    Regards,

    David

     

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    • Posted

      I sincerely want to thank you for your kind words David. When we are in the middle of it it's so hard to have any perspective or to see the light . When you say it is normal to feel medicated it it will get better I will trust you and this. This is all been so very frightening and it's made me tired and so much more. I've been on 10 mg for about nine days now and hopefully I will find some but I haven't had in the last six months. Thank you again

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    • Posted

      Outstanding reply David. You sure bring light to these meds and help the ppl in here. You and miss K help a lot of people and sure answer a lot if the questions that arr relevant to these meds. Thanks for being here!!!!
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    • Posted

      Morning John,

      I know what you mean about frightening.  I was (still am really, apart from this) never one for taking pills for anything, unless prescribed relying on the body to mend itself because I was fairly fit.

      The brain is a far more complex bit of kit though and when you consider how many things it processes every second well, it is no wonder that when it crashes we need help.  The old processor has to be shut down to some extent while the repairs are being carried out and as hardly anyone of us have experienced this before a forum like this is vitual.  Not just for us, but Family and Friends too who may never have experienced this either.  Saying that mental illness in the form of stress, fatigue etc., is on the increase, it is not natural, it is man made, but we can help each other.  It is not to help you get by, it is to help you get better, stronger and realise that change in ourselves is needed and then perhaps we can change the system!

      Do not hope for that which you don't know the ETA of, this will only make you stressed and is a waste of time and mental effort when you need to be relaxing the best you can.  Remember time should never be rushed, it is something so special, why would we want to?

      Moving on.  Now, what you need at this stage is an emergency duvet kept in yer favourite room outside the bedroom which, when you make it out of bed and that is about it or feel a debilitating bout of  'drugginess' coming on, you can crawl under and curl up in until it passes (and for as long as it takes!).

      We all understand 'frightening' and you will come to see that you may never here people say 'embarrassed' because that is not something you think about when yer so ill and you ain't got a clue what is going on.  Even some of us that are ex military (and some).

      Anyway, I think it is about time someone said Welcome to The Club!  It is all inclusive, impartial and has an excellent success rate.  Stick in there you'll get there! 

      Regards,

      David

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    • Posted

      Actually, reading through the previous post of mine which should have started Morning Walter because I was going to reply to John in turn following my reply to Walter.  It does make me wonder sometimes if it Cita that I can blame for these grammar and spelting mistakes (oops!). 

      Anyway it was intitally meant for Walter, but there is no harm in anyone else reading it if it helps!

      David

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  • Posted

    Hi Walter

    Agree with everyone.  It gets better.  3 weeks is early, and yes you often get worse before you get better.  The long dark days slowly turn into lighter days, until eventually the sun will shine down on you again.

    I was ill for 16 years and nothing helped really.  I was started on SSRI's and to my surprise I recovered within 6 months and have stayed we'll ever since.

    The illness is tough, the medication is tough and the road to recovery is even tougher.

    Just carry on, don't chase recovery by I creasig / increasing doses, changing meds as this just makes you have side effects and withdrawals.  Just persevere, accept whatever is thrown at you, pass on through in a relaxed manner, persevere some more and you'll find you'll begin to notice you'll start feeling lighter, happier.

    K x

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you once again. I try to tell myself I am one day closer to getting better. I have no choice but to push on but like I said earlier it's just so scary. I just despise the unnatural and medicated feeling more. I am trusting by everyone else will pass your words and David's words of giving a bit of hope but either way tomorrow is coming

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    • Posted

      It is scary - not only have I gone through this but my son did 2 years ago too.  That was even scarier for me as knew what he was experiencing and I felt helpless.  I actually felt thankful I'd had the experience of this illness then as I was able to help him back to recovery too.  It took him 9 months, but he's back to full health again now and off medication.

      When I was ill I also felt I had no choice but to try these meds - nothing else had worked and I didn't even know I was recovering - it sort of crept up on me so slowly.

      It often takes a long while for us to get ill, and so it'll take a long while to go the other way and recover.

      Mornings are often the worst.  Realisation of another day to get through, realisation that 'its' still there and probably as soon as wake your body tenses.  As I recovered, the bad mornings were the last symptom to disappear for me.

      Often that unnatural feeling isn't just the medication, but anxiety makes you feel detached too.  I didn't like taking meds, but I'd rather that than to have suffered more years of being ill.  Anyway ..... if you had diabetes, epilepsy or something, then you'd have to take meds.  This illness is no different.  The medicated feeling will wear off.

      You'll feel rough for a while yet, accept that.  But with patience, relaxing as you go about your day, a little daily exercise, sleep (if you can), eat healthily, chat on here and trust in your meds ..... and you'll begin to recover as we did.

      Keep in touch

      K xx

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    • Posted

      Wow miss Kate. Great way to put things. Makes so much sense. Sure glad U are still posting in here. I'm staying at 25mg's until after Xmas. I dont want to feel crappy or take a chance of feeling crappy during the holidays!!!!! Enjoy your night.

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    • Posted

      Thanks John 😊

      When I drecreased I stayed on a low dose for ages as my daughter got married in the summer and I also didn't want to chance coming off and feeling unwell on their big day.  I waited until afterwards before decreasing again.

      Hope you have a good Christmas and New Year! 🎄🎉🍷??🙃

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    • Posted

      Hi again Miss K. I reduce by 2.5 mg's every 2 weeks. Gonna wait till next week and see if 3 weeks works better for me. I am 25mg's now. I consulted with a pharmacist and she told me to try it every 2 weeks. Dont want to have crappy holidays so I shall wait a bit longer. Here's wishing that you also have a Merry Christmas and a happy new year!!!!!

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    • Posted

      Hi Kate I have now been on my meds for 4 weeks and felt a change around 3 weeks but still not fully back to normal I feel the anxiety takes over and am trying my hardest to get through each day I feel a little happier since taking meds but I don't feel like I normally do on the lead up to xmas for example! Morning is my hardest time to and force myself up as I've have 3 children and need to but if I could I'd stay in bed for as long as I can I feel afternoon and evening I feel little more myself. The. I start to think about next day and day after that and feel anxious with normal things I would enjoy which makes me question the meds are working !! I don't know ! I am tired all the time I have dark lines and bags under my eye which I am paranoid about as I've never had this my eyes are tired looking all the time and yawning all the time does this ware off sorry I'm about all over the place I'm not very good and explaining things lol

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    • Posted

      You've done you've done brilliant John - and yes definitely wait til after Christmas before testing the waters again.  Reducing every 2 weeks is good but also depends on how you feel at the time.

      Well .... Santa is nearly here! 🎄

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    • Posted

      Hi Julie

      4 weeks is really early days still - and I was exactly like you at that stage.  Mornings are always the hardest ... realisation another day has to be got through, anxiety hits you as you wake.  That's normal - it will go.

      When you're ill you will think negatively, because you can't feel anything exciting or happy to look forward to, and you can't see a way out.  All your thoughts make more anxiety too.  All the joy goes out of your life - it's normal at the moment.  As you get better your thoughts and feelings will turn happier and more outward.

      Yout thoughts will be all over the place at the moment and race along - it's part of the illness.  We also frantically search for an answer for our suffering, and then panic as we imagine all sorts of things and we'll be stuck like this forever.  You won't.

      Recovery can take months, so don't expect to feel well yet - but you will.

      Try not to get frustrated at not being well in the run up to Christmas.  Accept you'll probably feel unwell - you are recovering and you need to let it happen.  If you had a broken leg you wouldn't expect it to be healed by Christmas - so treat this illness the same.  Take comfort that you are in the process of healing, and though you may not feel normal throughout Christmas, recovery will come to you in the following weeks / months.

      It does make you tired and it takes a lot out of you.  Try not to fight it - just let it be there, cos it ain't going anywhere just yet 😉

      Fighting it it makes you tense, and that's what anxiety likes.  Try going with the flow, let go of any tension you have in your tummy, stop clenching your jaw and teeth (most of us do without realising it) and release all tension as you move about during the day (float along).  This helps to diffuse the anxiety too ... not immediately, but with continued practice it'll help calm the body (just as you are when in bed relaxed).

      I hated getting out of bed too and sometimes skipped work because I just couldn't bear another day.  

      Also so try and take a walk daily.  Exercise helps to combat anxiety as endorphins released when exercising helps burn any excess adrenaline.  I walked every day, even if I didn't feel like it, but the fresh air, exercise and just being outside with nature really helped.

      You're still having side effects of the meds - yawning, tiredness etc and yes it does wear off.

      The meds are working for you, even though you don't feel it yet.  But I can assure you they are.  Just stay on the meds and keep persevering through it all - and you'll begin to see a difference in time.  It might happen real slow / little changes, but the little changes grow into bigger ones until the anxiety ceases.

      Recovery also often comes in waves - feeling well one day and bad another.  That's normal, and it will continue like that until you feel well all the time.  Let the feelings come and go.

      Remember, Christmas might not be quite right this year for you, but recovery is just round the corner, and next Christmas will be a completely different one for you 😊

      K x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much this is exsactly what it's like lol finally someone out there who knows what I'm feeling lol! My husband is a really positive person and never worries ect so happy it's actually frustrating because I wasn't to be like that lol he's getting frustrated with me tho as it seems it's one thing after the other with me one week not feeling like me withdrawn and now paranoid about my dark eyes anxiety symptoms I keep moaning about it ! I'm gonna give your advise a go and chill!! I also work it all the time 3 to 4 times a week high intensity workouts I love it but even that it's a thought but once I'm in the zone I forget all my anxetys it's brilliant I have been a fitness freak for about 2 years which is why I question how did I get like this in the first place I am a happy bubbly out going person I m gonna believe I'll get there but this tiredness and burning eyes dark eyes just remind me and feel rubbish about myself it's so hard thanks for talking needed that. Xxx

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    • Posted

      Julie. Miss Kate has helped a lot of us in here with her expertise and experiences on these meds. She is a blessing for some of us that were prescribed these meds but no follow up. Keep working out and you will grt better. Have a great day!!!
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    • Posted

      Gah!!!!!  I've just found a whole batch of emails in my junk folder!!!  Sorry for not replying earlier 😳

      This illness can happen to anyone.  It often comes about from stress / over doing things, prolonged emotional stress, shock ..... and our body / nerves can only take so much before the stress turns into anxiety.  Imagine your nerves like an elastic band that gets wound and wound and wound until its so tight something has to give.  When they give, like an elastic band they'll keep bouncing, reverberating, jiggling about ..... those are your nerves.  Any other stress will ping that elastic band too, keeping it moving.  Relaxing the body soothes those nerves so eventually they'll get back to normal.

      Ah .... partners, spouses, family and friends often get frustrated with us.  They've not had it and completely don't understnad it.  They view it as a nervous feeling like you'd get before an exam, or a bit down instead of being depressed.  You cannot just step out of it - your body has to take time.  You just have to ask for their patience - after all its more frustrating for you

      Although exercising is really good, make sure not to overdo it either.  Yes, relaxing / letting go of tension in your body is so good.

      K x

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    • Posted

      I know my mum has been great because she has went through years of it and is now better so she's been fab! I also have wee waves of feeling better for about 5 mins I feel like back to myself like a buzz feeling then back to that same way! Today I had a lot on hairdresser and tan eyebrows taking things back to shops ect so this morning was I was very anxious I put it out my head and done it all but through it all I was thinking I'm fine I'm fine and taking deep breaths and thinking happy thoughts and when I was home I felt good! And happy. Because I was in my own house with no anxiousness was a good feeling

      Thanks for listening

      Have a great Xmas xxx

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    • Posted

      Recovery often comes in waves, often briefly glimpsed to start with, so it could be its starting to happen for you.  Mine started in the evenings - the cloud would lift and I'd feel normal, but would feel dreadful come morning.  This happened more and more and then the feeling crept into my day more - at 6 months I started waking up with no anxiety.  

      So you may find recovery will creep up on you without you sort of noticing.  It'll come and go, but will eventually come and stay all the time.

      You're going about it all the right way - being busy, getting on with things - this is good whilst you wait for the meds to work.

      Hope your Christmas was good.  Don't be too alarmed if you have a little 'crash' after Christmas as it often happens.  The build up, excitement etc can often be a little too much for the body.  It'll soon right itself though.

      K x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for all your advice i definitely feel as the days and weeks are going on I feel little better and I know now it will happen and am trying to stop thinking about it and think it will pass as will my dark eyes Christmas was really good after two bottles of wine I felt sick and had to go to bed I put that down to the meds maybe or just to much wine lol! I also keep coming out in sweats getting really hot and sweat a lot doing normal stuff like tidying up getting the kids dressed ect xx I got a great present from mum a key ring saying today is a great day in one side and just breathe on the other right up my street right now lol.BREATHE !! Haha thank you hope you had a lovely Xmas to x
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    • Posted

      Hi Miss Kate. Just wondering if you can tell me more about these products as I have read that they are helpfull when U are trying to get off AD's. I shall just list them. Tryptopan, magnesium, fish oil, vit B-12, i-tyrosene and 5-htp. Just wondering if any would help in my mission to get off Cit. I'm presently on 25mg's of

      Cit and going down to 22.5 on thursday. Thank you.

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    • Posted

      Hi John

      5-HTP and l-tyrosine are good when you're off meds - not when coming off them. You mustn't take them when you're still on meds as 5-HTP is a natural SSRI so it would be like overdosing. Tryptophan also - Tryptophan is the essential amino acid from which your body produces 5-HTP - so taking 5-HTP sort of cuts out the middle man 'tryptophan'. Both boost serotonin, so must not be taken along with prescribed SSRI's.

      I believe magnesium is ok to take, so is B6, B12 and fish oils.

      I'm off prescribed meds and take 5-HTP and l-tyrosine now instead.

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    • Posted

      Glad you're feeling the difference already 🤗 I'm sure the dark eyes will look brighter too in time. Some people get that when just having a cold, so maybe you're more susceptible to it when you're not well.

      I've read that you can sweat more easily when you take these meds - I did.

      Wine sounds good - be careful when on meds though (though I've always been partial to the wine myself too) 😜

      Ooh great keyring! So true too!

      Let us know how things go over the coming weeks too xxx

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