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So here goes..........can’t stop

Posted , 7 users are following.

Leavesley
Leavesley

Hey guys

I'm a 37 year old male from the UK. Happily married for 12 years and father to 3 kids. I hold down a good job and have done so for 13 years (Management position)

The problem is i'm hooked on the booze.

This only really started about 3 years ago. Until then i could take or leave drink. My mum was a big drinker and died at 44 due to bowel cancer.

Until recently i would drink every night (cider and spirits), now i make myself have 3 nights off in the week but its hard. I've also given up the spirits. For me the problem is the buzz i get. I feel so good when the booze hits.

I'm am worried i'll end up ill like my mother but i just cant stop. I drink 6 cans of cider per night (5 nights a week) and top it up with wine or whatever i can get my hands on.

Is anyone else out there in a similar situation?

It would be nice to correspond with someone similar i guess for support or just the ability to vent

thanks Al

0 likes, 16 replies

16 Replies

  • robert40917
    robert40917 Leavesley

    Posted

    hi Al, i get what you mean about the buzz. Also your post makes me think about your timeline ie 3 years ago, what was the trigger.

    ive worked hard with a recovery service for months now, im not fully dependent (clinical assessment), but i still drink for the buzz.

    me too, i live a full life, do many sports, socialise and work hard in a career. ive been educated a lot through the service, so taking very much a day at a time.

    any support i can give, happy to do so, can work both ways. wishing you well, Rob

    • Leavesley
      Leavesley robert40917

      Posted

      Hi Rob

      Thank you for the reply.

      i hope your doing well with your battle.

      As for a trigger i'm not sure. I would drink, usually too much, be sick then be put off it for months. I guess i just learnt a way of drinking, getting buzzed and not being sick and i'm hooked.

      I assume like alot of people on here i had a difficult upbringing and suffer from anxiety. Drinking helps but i wouldnt say thats the drive. Its just the feeling i get being high/buzzed

      Thank you for the reply and feel

      free to reach out if you need support also.

      Al

  • pistal666
    pistal666 Leavesley

    Posted

    Hello AL, I was a heavy drinker right from my teenage Years, up until my mid 30's (am now 38) I also held down my jobs but was alcohol dependent throughout more time than not. My main poison was Vodka but towards the end I decided to drink high strength cider. I was never limited to evening drinking, often needing a drink just to feel comfortable enough to get through the day. I could never imagine a life without alcohol, believing it to be the bulk of my personality. It was a remedy to all of lifes crap and a celebration for all lifes achievements. I went through 4 Medical detoxes and two stints in Rehab only to return to the drink pretty much every time straight away. I can too understand the ramifications having family has on your situation If you want to vent, or just chat about your situation, I'm more than happy to correspond with you and give you all the support I can offer 😃 I hope you find the answers you need on here and I wish you the best of luck. AL (also)

    • Leavesley
      Leavesley pistal666

      Posted

      Thank you so much for the reply, I really appreciate it.

      If you don't mind me asking are you now clean?

      The drinking is not affecting my work or homelife but im concerned with the damage im doing but to be honest the fear of that only makes me want a drink (stupid i know)

      Al

    • pistal666
      pistal666 Leavesley

      Posted

      No worries 😃 Am now clean coming up to 4 Years. I totally understand about the fear of the unknown damage, the resilience of the liver is pretty amazing though, a stint of abstinence does it the World of good and your 3 nights off is a great place to start. The one thing that sprung up out of the blue for me was the damage it caused my Heart. I was never aware that heavy drinking could cause Heart failure until it did, enlarging the Left Ventricle.

      If you are finding that you are quite happy with relaxing with a few drinks and it is not intruding with your relationships and Day to Day living, plus you feel you can keep it under control then there are things you can do to reduce damage to your Body such as taking strong Vit B Supplements or Thiamine tablets. Ask your Doctor for a liver function test. If you can keep tabs on the amount your drinking, lead a fairly healthy lifestyle and you enjoy it then there's no reason you have to cut it out altogether 😃

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 pistal666

      Posted

      Hi Pistal and Leavesley.

      What an achievement 4 years sober. Soon 6 years sober myself. Vodka, blue cider, wine or anything at hand. Was destroying my health, family life etc. and had to stop. No pills but just stopped. However, very dangerous formost people!google The C3 Foundation Leavesley and you will be amazed. Think of your family which is why i stopped. Had 2 yeAr old twins as a Housedad to look after. I know that icannot have j ust the one drink since it will then escalate! Best of luck. Robin

    • alex01280
      alex01280 pistal666

      Posted

      Hmmmmm.......if somebody is doing 30 cans of cider a week (with extras) then I'll be happily amazed if this ends with moderate healthy drinking.

      The fact is that the road to full blown 'alcoholism' has many well-marked stages.

      Light drinker-social drinker-very social drinker-heavy drinker-functional alcoholic-dysfunctional alcoholic.

      Leavesly seems to be somewhere between the heavy and functional stage and is quite right when he says that alcohol is great because of the buzz it brings. But sadly alcohol is a drug, a very addictive drug and worst of all, the only highly addictive drug that it's ok to openly use. It rarely ends well.

      Good news is that you're posting on here. Recognising that there is a problem really is half the battle.

    • pistal666
      pistal666 alex01280

      Posted

      lol, The truth is that no amount of Alcohol is "healthy", but if you can find a level that you are happy with and it does not have a negative affect on your comfort level and does not harm those around you then it's a lifestyle choice. The RDA for the UK has just been pulled out of the air. You gotta do what you wanna do. I think we all know the risks, one mans moderation is an others maximum, and vice versa.

    • alex01280
      alex01280 pistal666

      Posted

      I totally agree but for some people they cross a line and they have to accept that not drinking at all is the best option.

    • pistal666
      pistal666 alex01280

      Posted

      Yup, that's exactly the route I had to take after many failed attempts at moderation.

  • l71207
    l71207 Leavesley

    Posted

    Dude, I totally feel what you're talking about. I was more extreme though. I'm 39 years old and have been with my current company for 14 years and was very alcohol dependent. I would start with a shot of vodka in the morning when I got up, small amounts throughout the day at work and a lot at night to go to sleep. I was doing 20+ shots a day at my worst. What saved me was this forum, Naltrexone, and the knowledge I was finally going to be a father this year after being married for 12 years. I now only have some drinks maybe on the weekend, lost 60 lbs, and bought a house. You can change. Seriously please look into Naltrexone. There are a ton of people on this forum who can tell you about their experiences with it. The good and the bad. Keep posting.

    • Leavesley
      Leavesley l71207

      Posted

      Thank you.

      It came to a head last night, i drank too much and was sick. I admitted to my wife i had a problem. She knew but didnt want to say anything.

      I'm going to quit the drinking. If i struggle on my own I'll make an appointment with a GP.

      Thanks guys

    • Robin2015
      Robin2015 Leavesley

      Posted

      Like me, you reached rock bottom and can only go up. Today is your first day of a new life. Stop completely i recommend😀 Robin

    • robert40917
      robert40917 Leavesley

      Posted

      thats really great news, wish you well. Apologies if you are aware or if it is stated in any replies above, just be careful with withdrawals, you may have a plan to cut back gradually towards abstinence, if you are going to quit altogether, be careful mate and read up for a few minutes beforehand. Sorry but had to mention it, all the best, Rob

    • alex01280
      alex01280 Leavesley

      Posted

      With adultery they say the wife is always the last to know.

      With alcoholism it seems that the drinker is always the last to know!

      Personally speaking, wanting to change + having a supportive wife + this forum helped me get my life back on track.

      Now it's your turn!

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