So I drink to excess, become extremely aggressive. And end up feeling ashamed/ depressed for weeks.

Posted , 8 users are following.

So as the title states, I binge drink and develop a jakyl and hide sort of complex. There is no off switch and I just keep going until I'm dragged away by someone.

Now this opens up a new and very destructive feeling. The guilt and shame of behaving in such a way makes the next week utter hell, anxiety that what I may have done was illegal, depression thinking that people now consider me nothing more than I drunk piece of trash.

I often here "oh dont worry about it we have all been there and done that"

But once you have done repeatedly for the last 5 with no signs of changing its time to start taking control and work out why in he'll I'm such a nasty little peroson when I drink.

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi there and welcome.  I certainly woud not say "oh don't worry about etc" it's not what you want to be or who you are.  It is horrible how alcohol can change a person.  I get a bit argumentive with my hubs and as he says I talk "broken biscuits" when I have have had too much. 

    You have done the right thing coming on here and have taken the right step.  There are things you can do to ease this situation and reclaim your life and sanity because the depressive feelings which you understandably feel after the "event" linger.  Good on you for being so honest - that is what we do on here - literally and I do commend you that.

    I would not even begin to offer any advice at this stage, there are some fabulous Masters that will come to your rescue today so don't despair.

    Just wait for the posts to come in.

    Keep posting.


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  • Posted

    Hi, you and everyone else here has done somethings that we all regret to say the least. But you have done the right thing by being so honest...its hard we all know that. How much do you drink? Or is it binges? Yes drinking is going to change how you would normally be, that doesnt make you a bad person. The alcohol is the problem. Its pretty much how the alcohol effects you chemically and any other issues that may be swirling around in your head. I am a person with a drink problem to say the least and i know i have said and done things which i regret. I would not have done these things if i hadnt drank. Yes there are things that i am sure you need to address...but you are not going to be able to do this while drinking. It just makes it worse. You sound like a genuine and nice person and you obviously  see there is a problem. So it really comes down to how much your drinking? If it is binges, just put an end to it. You are worth more than that and not addicted so to speak...if your drinking every day or more often than you feel comfortable with then thats a bit different. Things can get better. You can change this and feel better about yourself as a person. Let us know where you are with things and we will do our best to help x
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    • Posted

      Hi Sharon thanks for your response.

      So I don't drink regularly, this weekend was the second time I drank this month.

      I have no urge or need to drink, i never drink alone and never during weekdays. I don't feel like I'm self medicating.

      My problem with alcohol is my inability to control my consumption once I start. There is no stop button. I become completley consumed by the drink its all or nothing. There is no such thing as a social drink for me. And I'm finding myself getting into more and more dangerous situations. And it has GOT to stop.

      And if I'm honest sobriety actually scares me a little bit. The fact that something can have that much control over me that I feel like I need to completely turn my back on it makes me feel rather vunrable.

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    • Posted

      I know its scary. On the upside you have been honest and on another upside you have said that you have no urge to drink and do not drink alone. Your problem so to speak is when you are in social situations, maybe your drinking to excess to cover up other emotions or to make you feel more confident? Clearly if you feel that your entering dangerous scenarios then your drinking is a problem but not in the addicted sence. What about the next time your invited out just try one night where you have soft drinks? Try one night to see how it feels. You might surprise yourself about how good you feel coming home without that guilty ''my god what have i done'' feeling. Try it just once. No one is saying you can never have another drink again...but it may surprise you so much about how good you feel having some control. Your in charge, the alcohol is not in charge of you. You obviously know that there is a problem, its time now to take control and see if you can do things a little differently. 

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  • Posted

    Hello Henry ,It takes a lot of courage to face your problem so its absolutely  brilliant you have taken that first step.Many of us on here have been or are battling with binge drinking  and only too well know that horrific feeling of anxiety and guilt not to mention the self promises of 'never again' only for a few days to pass ( if we are lucky enough) and the whole thing rears  its ugly head again.You are not a nasty little person but a person who has a problem that needs help and support  so don't beat  yourself up over it,

    Have you thought of medication as a way or halting these binges,I am following the Sinclair method with the use of Selincro ( nalmefene) and believe me it works. If this is of interest to you google 'One Little Pill' and watch Paul Turners short Video, You could also google C3Europe ,there is so much help and advice on their re the Sinclair methodSinclair method. Also lots of stories. Nothing lost in having a read biggrin


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    • Posted

      Cheers Nat will definitely take a look. I also suffer with aspergus and I'm looking to start taking medication to deal with that too. It's all getting a little scary at the moment. I never thought as a young man I would ever be having this kind of conversation.

      I seem to go from one kind of intoxicating substance to another.

      I appreciate this might not be the place to discuss this but I also had rather a nasty drug addiction as a teenager and developed some mental health issues. The drugs are well and truly out of the question now and I have zero interest in going anywhere near them.

      But I'm starting to see parralels between the way I took drugs and the way I drink now.

      As I became more and more involved in misusing drugs I stoped feeling high and started to feel paronid.

      I must add that my drug use was everyday unlike my alcohol use that is once maybe twice a month. But I still feel as if drinking provides none of the "positive" (and say that as loosely as possible) effects that others feel. And instead I just get angry.

      Just like my drug addiction I take everything to the extreme. One line was never enough and in the case of drink one glass will never do.

      Now I know what an addiction is for me I know what it feels like for me personally. And I don't think I am addicted to alcohol, as another drink wont pass my lips again for some time. But as I have said before this needs to stop before I so something dangerous.

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  • Posted

    So you know the cause and effect.

    Cause - Alcohol

    Effect  - Miserable life

    Take the bull by the horns...make a conscious decision that you are going to not pick up the first drink....for no reason whatsoever...and your life will get better.

    This is the only way to end the madness...I am in the same position as you are with the struggle of NOT picking up that first drink. But, when I don't is so much better and the feelings of anxiety and depression lessen.

    If I'm NOT drinking there is very little chance that any of these horrible things happen.  Make a plan...and realize if you keep doing what your doing your life is not going to end mine won't.

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