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So low.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Deej92
Deej92

Hi, I'm a once-bubbly 22 year-old female; diagnosed (to my absolute horror) with genital herpes this May during the first 3 months of a new relationship. My partner and I used condoms alongside the pill for the first 2 months before mutually agreeing to unprotected sex; just using the pill. However once I found multiple symptoms and got myself diagnosed, he admitted he had lied about being clean when I questioned his sexual health, and it has left me completely broken. Having never slept around, had one night stands or taken risks... I'm now finding it INCREDIBLY hard to move on from this which has changed my life at 22, and cannot grasp the fact there is no cure. I have persistent, ongoing and painful outbreaks on my legs as well as the normal area despite taking all the right medication and topical treatments. Left with absolutely no confidence, faith or trust. I'm no longer the outgoing and positive girl I once was. No energy or zest for life. No excitement. I feel beyond tired no matter how much sleep I get each night, and my diet's very healthy. It's also affected studying for my degree. I've cried every single night since before bed, and sometimes wake up sweating and shaking. The thought of ever going on a 'date' or getting involved with a man in future fills me with total horror, not excitement. When there's outbreaks on my legs I feel sick when I dress myself. I'm aware this may sound dramatic and also aware that he could have passed me something much worse, but I just don't feel like I'm coping with it very well. Any help would be beyond appreciated. The future feels extremely bleak right now....

Thanks.

0 likes, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • lindagran
    lindagran Deej92

    Posted

    Hey I'm a 22 year old female going through the exact same thing. I'm in my 5th year of university studies as well. My first outbreak began on Sunday so it's at the worst stages right about now - have been lying to friends on campus that I pulled something when I slipped on ice going for a jog. 

    You're not alone smile I also caught it from my bf who I've only been with for 3 months. he had no symptoms at all so he's freaked out too at the moment. I cry at night too just out of pain since this is m

    Are you taking an antiviral every day as preventative medication? I've heard that doctors can prescribe them to people who have severe outbreaks many times per yr.

    • Deej92
      Deej92 lindagran

      Posted

      I have to lie to friends too. Wear leggings to cover my legs etc. It's just such a big betrayal of trust which has changed everything. Thanks for taking the time to reply though, it's been so hard with uni. Takes so much energy to even get out of bed and get to campus now, and I was the most energetic person you could meet before! Yes I take antivirals every day which is depressing in itself! How do you cope with it? Although if this is your first outbreak then I guess you're finding your feet with it all now. Just finding it so hard.
    • lindagran
      lindagran Deej92

      Posted

      I completely agree. Really truly hoping that I don't have horrible future outbreaks, because I love going to the gym and running. It's been 5 days without exercise now and I'm going insane!! 

      How many outbreaks have you had since May? Maybe you can switch to a different antiviral.. have you mentioned it to your doctor at all?

      Just try to keep your head up. smile I'm coping well cause I confided to a few best friends so I don't feel like I'm hiding a dark secret. Find someone you trust that you can talk to about it. I wouldn't wish this pain upon anyone. It feels like I have a flesh eating disease down there haha

    • Deej92
      Deej92 lindagran

      Posted

      I've had about outbreaks back to back - one heals while another forms etc. My GP said to stick with Acyclovir. It's just so depressing, and knowing that any new relationship in the future will have THAT talk now... despite being so careful all my life! I find it so upsetting. Has your bf been supportive etc? It's nice you have a partner to work through this bad time with, even though he's the person who gave it to you! x
    • Deej92
      Deej92

      Posted

      Also I think it's HOW i got it that I'm not coping too well with - being purposely lied to. I just think that's so unforgiveable.
    • Deej92
      Deej92

      Posted

      Also I think it's HOW i got it that I'm not coping too well with - being purposely lied to. I just think that's so unforgiveable.
  • mandyhappygolucky
    mandyhappygolucky Deej92

    Posted

    Hello Deej,

                     Sorry to hear you got diagnosed with this and the pain your going through at the moment, I know it might sound cliche right now but trust me you will get over this. Its the most awful thing to happen when you first get it and you wonder what the heck you did to deserve it, emotions are way beyond high, I got this 5 years ago from a long term relationship which I'm still in, I locked myself away for a long time had terrible back to back outbreaks, literally I had an outbreak and another would form and another would form then the first outbreak would start healing it was a nightmare, the pain used to wake me at night and thats just the physical side to it, and now I'm almost outbreak free, I have a much better sense of humour much less judgmental towards people, I take better care of my body and Im totally over having it now, things could always be worse I think.

    It is hard at first I wont lie, some people on here have had it only like a month or two and are already taking a more positive look on life, it took me much longer than that but we are all different and react differently to it.

    Just look at the statistics of this virus apprently 1 in 6 have it, maybe more, and many people have it without ever knowing thay have it, chances are you already know a few people who have it.

    You will find love and have a sex life again, its just a skin disorder in an awkward place, many people will accept and love you, with or without this virus.

    I recently had a healthy baby and I have the virus, my partner is either asymptomatic or does not have the virus at all, hard to believe that it just came out of thin air but it apprently did. I took the anti-virals during the latter stages of pregnancy and they worked for me, I had to stop when I had my baby and dreaded an outbreak happening while I had stiches down there as I did not want to infect them with herpes (yes it can spread, and I only have it in my pubic hair region), anyway a person on these forums swore by eating a large piece of fresh pineapple everyday their outbreaks stopped, so thats what I have done since I had my baby nearly 5 months ago and its been working wonders for me, if I skip days and don't eat it I do still get an outbreak so now I never miss a day, some people have suggested orgegano oil but I don't know if its eaten or just applied? 

    I was also working for 3 years towards a degree at a slow pace and ate cold pressed coconut oil by the tablespoon everyday (it aids memory and brain function) and noticed for months I didn't get an outbreak (since getting pregnant it just makes me sick now otherwise I would still have it everyday).

    I would also suggest researching foods that trigger outbreaks, do as much research as you can, be informed.

    Hope this helps.

    Mandy smile

    • Deej92
      Deej92 mandyhappygolucky

      Posted

      Hi Mandy,

      Firstly thank you so much for putting such an effort into your extensive reply. It means so much, and you pinpointed exactly how I feel. I've taken everything you've said on board and have bought both pineapple and organic coconut oil. So good to hear you've had a healthy baby =) - congratulations for that! The future feel scary and lonely at the moment for me but maybe that will cease. Thanks again massively for all your help xx

  • kori26
    kori26 Deej92

    Posted

    I'm 21 and I was diagnosed in August. I have felt everything that you feel. Some days are good and some are bad. I'm scared that I'll never find someone that accepts me with this. No one gets it. But, we have to stay positive. We didn't ask for this or deserve this, and we are still alive and okay. We aren't alone. Dont let this take more of a toll on you than it already has. 
    • Deej92
      Deej92 kori26

      Posted

      Thanks Kori =( , I feel the same. Future just feels so bleak now. x
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