So many emotions—long read trigger assault

Posted , 7 users are following.

On August 9 I was on a date with a gentleman I have been talking to for several weeks. I had three cocktails while we were out. We went back to his apartment he made me a fourth cocktail and I don’t remember anything after that. When I woke up and was bleeding from my vagina and have bruises all over my neck and back. to my relief, i found two condoms on the floor when i dashed out if there. when the immense pain in my vagina wasn’t any better four days later I followed up with a visit to my family physician. She performed a routine STD check a Pap smear and noticed six spots of trauma up inside my vagina. I started to feel better and then a terrible rash broke out in between my vagina and my anus on august 18th. There were never any blisters that i could tell, but there are now chancre like sores, 4 of them.. I go back to the doctor and they take one look and say it’s herpes. I asked for more testing. They consent to a blood test. They called me three days ago to let me know that both my blood test and my Pap smear come back. My Pap smear showed the herpes cells growing in my vagina and my blood test was .54 .. I have been on antivirals of valtrex 3000 mg of lysine and using coconut oil to no relief. I guess I’m thankful that sounds like my outbreak isn’t near as bad as what it could be.

I’m just so upset. I dont know if i can move past this. im ashamed to say suicide has even crossed my mind..i wont because i have two children but not lying when i say i want to give up. how could someone i invested time into maliciously do this to me? i am so mad at myself for putting myself into this situation..i know its cliche but my life feels as if its over..

0 likes, 13 replies

13 Replies

  • Posted

    Oh no!! 😦 Press charges! I'm so sorry this happened to you. Seek counceling and just know you'll be okay. It'll be hard but stay strong PLZ

    • Posted

      pressing charges isnt something im interested in.. i have spoke with an attorney, and while we do have the doctor report it would become "he said she said". i do not wish to go public with my recent diagnosis or my assault.. i live in a rural area and to me its not worth it..for everyone to know.. my family has been thru enough.

    • Posted

      I understand. Whatever you choose to do isn't up to me. But that was a VERY serious crime and you could sue! He gave you an std! and he deserves jail time. To think you could be just one of his victims. But don't be ashamed. Your loved ones will support you and be there for you. Do NOT go through this alone. It'll be much harder on you

    • Posted

      thank you for yours words of support and encouragement.. i am still summoning up the strength to tell anyone close to me..my trust in human beings is at an all time low and i do not want anyone to know.. i could have moved past the assault...but the herpes will be a forever reminder.. i am so mad at myself...

    • Posted

      you did nothing wrong.. you did nothing to deserve this.

      none of us did!

      if you ever want a chat feel free to mail me x

    • Posted

      honestly i do not know where I would be at this point without this forum. It’s been so informative and it helps so much to hear other people stories and just tips on dealing with things and what triggers might be. Right now I’m just trying to do as much research as I can. I’m immersing myself in herpes blogs...its my current coping mechanism..

  • Posted

    he drug raped you and gave you herpes. he hurt you and made you bleed. please please stay strong and seek counseling. and please press charges. what that man did to you is a crime. i am so sorry. prayers to you. i promise the herpes will get better

  • Posted

    i am seeking counseling.. i am consumed with so much self disgust right now..

    • Posted

      None of what happened to you is your fault. I'm so sorry you have been put through this.

      There is a life after a herpes diagnosis please remember that.

      I think you're so strong and I hope no matter what you choose to do, that you will fight for you so you can be happy and find peace.

    • Posted

      thank you so much for your kind words..this forum has been my life saver.. literally..

  • Posted

    life will get better. it will. you are not disgusting. you are human

  • Posted

    wtf 1 cocktail at his place makes you black out ? I think not .

    I'm disgusted I had a incident when I was 15 similar experience happened to me

    to this day I don't know if they touched me.

    I couldn't do anything I didn't know who they were .

    but you know him he has drugged you and brutally had sex to damaged you internally.

    if it's not rape it's a..did not consent case at the least .

    then you get herpes .

    I do know you don't want anyone to know i didn't make a issue on the guy who gave it to me but i consented.

    this will stay with you not knowing what happened because I live with the same experience.

  • Posted

    i kmow you dont want this blown out of the wayer but hes a Predator and literally sick you need to come out not just for your justice but before he does this to anyone else he needs to be known as a predator. im very sadden to see this happened to you

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