So much has happened over the last few months, I feel so anxious and nervous all the time.

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi, I am completely new to this and hope that I can at least get some reassurance that I am not going bonkers! To cut a very long story short. Up until last November I could cope with what was happening in my life. I downsized from my family home of 29yrs a year and half ago into a bungalow with my husband. We have been married for 16yrs. My son (not my husbands) had a drug problem which caused a lot of animosity in the family, but being my son, I have always stuck by him. I had a row with my elderly mother over him and have not seen here since Xmas. She has always been very demanding and I did a lot for her (apparently not enough though). My younger sister has had a rough time with cancer (two operations since January) but I have not seen her either. This all stems from last November when my husband just upped and left. I was ok for a couple of weeks and then everything just seemed to close round me. I have been so depressed as I have no-one to turn to. I have never been one to make friends (my life revolved around family) and not one of them gave me any support when my husband left. I think that is why I have cut myself off from them because I was always there for them. I have even stopped going out because I have panic attacks. I go to bed depressed and wake up depressed as I can see no way forward. I have not heard a word from my husband since he walked out 6 months ago so it's as though he's died. To top all this, I will be 60 in a couple of months. Please, can someone help me out of this dark hole? 

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Christine, I am so sorry to read your sad plight! Your really going through it! OK firstly go and see your nearest health food shop as they do all sorts of things that will help you through! Also have a reflexology session as this to is very good for depression! Please don't suffer alone! Regards Amanda
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  • Posted

    Oh Christine!  What a time your having!  No your by no means going bonkers!  Its just that so many bad things have happened, and at the moment, you can't seem to find a way out!  Have you tried discussing things with your gp? Maybe she could put you on a short course of anti depressants!  I know that its not the long term answer but it would be a start.  You will get through this!  If you need to talk then i'll only be too glad to listen.  You take care.  Val.
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    • Posted

      Hi Val, thank you for replying. I had been with my gp for 38yrs and she moved surgery last month and it's miles away (I don't drive anymore) so I have had to register with a new doctor. My gp knew me inside out and I always felt better after seeing her, but I don't even have that now. As you say, everything seems to have happened at once which I am finding hard to deal with. I know it sounds daft, but I feel as though everything has gone wrong since I moved. I was taken out of my comfort zone and where all my memories were (children etc). I can count on one hand how many times my mum and siblings have visited me here and I think that's why I have turned my back on them. Not a nice thing to say, but for over 20yrs my family came to me for Xmas and family celebrations (all done by me) and deep down, I think they resent me for  taking that away. Since moving, I have never been invited for dinner or anything only to see what I can do for them and I am not a spring chicken! Sorry to bend your ear but I have no-one I can talk to about it. x
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    • Posted

      I know exactly how you feel!  When i married my second husband i moved away from everything i knew and all my family!  Although, they've still kept in touch, my 2 brothers are quite a bit older and don't have good health, so can't come from Falkirk to Aberdeen to visit me. My nephew comes sometimes, but not very often. I haven't got any friends here, as the people aren't very friendly.  My husband live in a disabled complex as we are both registered blind, but the people who live in the complex aren't friendly at all!  When I lost my beloved Guide dog and pet Harley, i thought the bottom had fallen from my world.  I was so lucky to have had such a good gp, who put me on a short course of anti depressants which helped.  I still grieve and miss my Harley so much, but finding this site and being able to talk about him, has helped.  So, don't forget, your not alone, and i'll always be hear to listen.  You can send me a message via the private message section on this website.  I Think your husband and family have treated you shockingly, but, they don't know what's in front of them, and what troma's they're going to have to face!  When, and if that day comes, they're going to want to turn to you!  Just wait and see!  You Take care sweetheart, and remember, i'm always here for you.  Val.
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    • Posted

      Hi Val. I came across this site purely by accident this morning and I am so glad I did! There are so many people out there with their own problems but take time to symaphise with others, just like you have. I am sorry to hear that things are not great for you either. We had our Lassie for 17yrs from when she was 6 weeks old and she's been gone 5 yrs now. If only family could be as loyal as pets!!!! Ironically, we all live within half a mile of one another, it's not as though I moved to the other side of the country. I stayed close because of my mum's health and age (she's 85). Anyway, you take are too and will speak with you soon. Chris x
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  • Posted

    Hello Christine, It is so hard when we have no support and family to help. I have felt let down most of my life and had no family support. My husband died young and with two small children everyone deserted me. I had no friends at the time either. I am now partially disabled and my daughters rarely visit and they are only a mile away with cars. I don't drive and struggle with shopping etc. Anyway going back to yourself i would suggest going to the GP and explain how low you feel and a short course of AD may help you to take the edge off how you are feeling. Have you thought about doing some online courses, they are free and i do them for pleasure, if you want to know more i can let you know. How about your local library, they may do short courses on mental health. In the meantime feel free to talk here we understand and you will not feel so alone. You will come through this in time. Do something you used to enjoy. I hope you start to feel better soon. 

    Elizabeth.

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    • Posted

      Hi Elizabeth!  Just read your story.  So sad that your family don't keep in touch.  I'm totally blind, and live so far from my family, but so lucky as they keep in touch.  we are a very close family, and as i explained to Christine, my brothers are a lot older, and don't have good health, so can't get up to Aberdeen to visit. I miss them so much, but my friend is taking me to visit them in a fortnights time.  If you feel lonely and would like to talk, i'm always here and prepared to listen.  You can send me a message privately via the private message section of this forum.  Val.
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    • Posted

      Hello Elizabeth and thank you for your reply. I stopped driving in November last year due to vertigo as I didn't feel safe. When I had my car I would take my mum, sister and niece shopping (did that for years). Since then, not one of them has even bothered to ask how I manage with shopping, so I know how you feel. I am going to make an appointment with the GP Monday and have a talk with him/her. I contacted a group about counselling but have yet to hear back from them. I think talking does help immensely, It's proved that today finding this site as there are so many people that take time to listen and try to help. I will keep in touch and let you know how things are going. And I hope things get brighter for you too. Take care. Chris x
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