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So sick and tired of living

Posted , 4 users are following.

jason36257
jason36257

Nobody can hate me as much as I hate myself. I always have done, I was never wanted as a child, until i turned 16 and started work. Then i was wanted by my family for my wages. Even then it was made clear that was all they wanted. I was fortunate enough to meet my late wife when i was in my 20's. We had a good few years and for the first time i was happy. I finally found one person who wanted me. She became my whole life, nothing and no one was as important to me than her! We got two son's that I love so much.

Then my life was torn apart in April 2020 when my wife tested positive with Covid. The Dr's refused to treat her, just gave her Morphine so she would be comfortable till she took her last breath. Since I lost my wife I haven't been able to face leaving the house. Our sons still live with me, but I am till so lonely without my wife here. There are other things that are going on which are not helping the situation. I keep asking why I am still alive, no i don't get any answers same as when I prey at night to not let me wake up the next morning. Why can't I just die? Why can I not find the courage and be brave enough to take my own life? Can't even do that right! I really don't want to be hear anymore. The only thing I have to look forward to is the time I take my last breath and all my pain and all the hatred i have about myself will be gone and this world will be a better place! Our sons will be so much better off not having a failure of a dad in their lives anymore! God I am so sick and tired of living, God I beg you Please, please let me die soon.

0 likes, 2 replies

2 Replies

  • monica25949
    monica25949 jason36257

    Posted

    im sorry that your going through a tough time i know its very hard & im very sorry about your wife! but just try to think of your sons how much they love and need you in their life! i know its hard but it will get better! if you need to talk feel free to message me!!

  • joshuapryce1987
    joshuapryce1987 jason36257

    Posted

    Life is really what you make it. We can make successes out of failures by remaining focused and being affirmative in our choices. Know what you want and go for it and desire to have fun from time to time in ways that profit your lifestyle.

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