Posted , 4 users are following.
I'm ready for this life to be over. Anything has to be better than the way I have felt most of my life. I have suffered with PTSD most of my life. Add chronic pain it is all becoming just to much. I pray part of the time for strength to keep going. But mostly pray asking to please be put out of my misery. Since my mom passed away my life has no meaning what so ever. I'm just want it to be done and over with.
0 likes, 4 replies
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sam18386 MommaDee
Edited
hi momma, i couldn't read this then do nothing. you need to quickly speak to someone, do you have a crisis team number or the Samaritans? i can identify with PTSD, i have it too, it really wears you down and at times is so bleak you feel like it would be better not here. by admitting you have PTSD is a strong thing to do - not weak! chronic pain needs professional doctor's help or a chiropractor or other professional maybe? as for your last point it will be this that will be tipping you over the edge as the loss of a parent nobody can understand unless you have experienced it. i know truly how bad because i have lost a parent too. ask for help, it doesn't matter where but ask. you need some support. i wish you lots of luck.
MommaDee sam18386
Posted
thank you for your words. I have been in therapy for many years. but unfortunately due to covid-19 all appointments are being done online. and they have changed my therapist so having a hard time dealing with that change also. it's like I'm having to start over and explain everything to the new therapist. which makes me have to relive everything again. seems like all I do anymore is cry.
sam18386 MommaDee
Edited
hi momma, i know how you feel i had to deal with the same thing after getting leaving assault counselling for another counsellor due to being only allowed so many sessions. i cried too! explain how you feel completely and tell your therapist how sad it's making you feel. if there any therapist worth their salt then maybe they will understand. if not speak to me. i will speak to you and hold no judgement about how you feel! it's hard having counselling i do understand.
britt34 MommaDee
Posted
I don't know what it's like to lose a parent but I was with my husband for almost 11 years now. I really don't know what we are anymore. He may consider us separated since 2017 but I don't know. He hasn't had a home for us in 4 years now and he got on at an asphalt company at the end of July in 2019. We stay in contact but it seems to become less and less. His mother is supposed to be living with his cousin on his dad's side and he went there on New Year's. He told me he can't wait to see me but I still haven't seen him yet and now he's supposedly in Mobile, Alabama with this couple he knows. The guy was his co worker. I haven't heard from him all day and all night. I miss traveling. He used to be an OTR truck driver. I don't know anyone other then an older lady I met when I went out one night. I had been going out with her every weekend and there's this guy she calls her son. He's the first guy I actually took an interest in, in a very long time but he's not the least bit interested... I'm just miserable. I feel like I'm never going to be happy again. I don't work. I think I'm just not a worker. I have tried even though I need my own income badly. Of course my estranged husband has no problem making money by having a CDL. I have been staying with my parents but I just don't like it here. I share 50/50 of my son with my ex fiance even though I am primary. Of course him and his fiance are still good and owns a nice $200,000 home. I used to have such high hopes for me and my husband but it really seems like he's just gone and is never coming back. There has to be more to life then just sitting here day in and day out but I have no motivation to even try to find it, especially after going out and meeting someone like I have and him not being even a little bit interested.... I'm tired of seeing happy couples when I go out and I have no one. I have been with my estranged husband most of my adult life since I was 23. I'm not 24. I just don't know what to do anymore