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I am 52 and have been going through this hormonal hell for the past 4 years. I am going through a really rough spot - physically with a myriad of symptoms and emotinally questioning a lot about my life, myself, my marriage and the future. I am struggling with trying to determine if the new found depression I am feeling is hormonal thereby causing me to question a lot of what is going on in my life and, if I am honest, disliking a lot of where I am at in my life specifically with my marriage.
I feel like as the weeks pass and turn into months that I am slowly removing myself from my relationship. Why do things I would have glossed years ago over now infuriate me? Is it the hormones? I just don't know.
I have such internal rage at times and yet I push it aside for fear if I express it then my husband will view me as unbalanced or just plain insane. He is aware that I am struggling. He is sympathetic (to a degree) but all in all I know he just wants things to be 'normal'.
Today is especially bad...I am in a 'pit' so to speak. I understand now when people who suffer from depression say it's like moving through quick sand. That is how I am feeling at this moment.
And then there are days when all is okay. I say to myself "See, let it pass and things will be back to normal."...but it never stays that way.
I didn't wake up feeling this way. I woke with the usual aches and pains but mentally was okay other than the nagging dread (of who knows what??) that is always in the back of my mind. However, within a couple of hours, this black cloud just washed over me. Just like that. Does anyone else ever have shifts in their mood like this? It is so disconcerting.
I am very thankful for this forum as I know many of you are...it is a safe place to vent with women who truly understand the struggle of menopause.
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