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Hi. I've watched and listened to conversations for the last few weeks. I've spoken a few times over the last year or so after finding the forum on line. In a nutshell, I am a 46 year old woman, and drank heavily for about 3 years after splitting from a very abusive husband. Up until,then I suppose I thought I was a "normal" drinker, as in getting p*ssed ona Friday,Saturday night with mates in my late teens, twenties and then slowly progressing to drinking in the house as part of a couple or group of friends into my thirties.
At that point, in my early 30s my husband joined the police. And those of you who have been following my story will know that it didn't end well. He became a bully. He abused me. Not only physically but worse mentally and psychologically. Not just me, but my daughter, who was 15/16 at the time, who incidentally he had brought up from the age of 2. She thought of him as her father. She had no contact with her natural father at all.
Anyway, we separated. He left the family home. We had my daughter, aged 18 about to go to university, and our own son aged 8.
our son was devastated.
my daughter was relieved.
im not trying to make excuses but, my daughter, who met my husband when she was 2 years old,absolutely loved him. He was a brilliant father figure. She loved him and vice versa. They were inseparable and not in a weird way if that's what you are thinking!
After my husband left, which incidentally, he didn't want to. I made him go. After 6 months of hell in the house. He abused me constantly. He broke into the house, he raped me, he trashed the house, he scared me to death.
in the end the CPS dropped the charges.
probably cos he was a copper and one of them.
after that I tried to "kill" myself 4 times.
i didn't want to die. I just couldn't think of a way out at that time.
it has when I started drinking more. I drank 2 bottles of wine a night at least. But all that did was make me more depressed and more amenable to my ex husbands demands. If I hadn't had a drink in all that time, I swear to God, I would have taken him for everything I had got in me. Through the drink, I was weak. I gave him
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