social anxiety disorder

Posted , 5 users are following.

Hi, I've just been pointed in this direction via a doctor to read up on my condition.

I am terrified of speaking on the phone, nervous about speaking to people face to face and totally avoid both as much as I possibly can. I hardly see friends, and when I do I worry for days, sometimes weeks about whether they like me, whether I acted weird, looked weird, said something wrong... Even when I'm out and about I worry that people are looking at me and thinking that I am walking or breathing weird, and I concentrate so hard on doing them that I forget what the normal way to do them IS and end up hardly being able to breathe or walk at all.

I absolutely cannot go to my GP, I couldn't even imagine talking to him about any of this...or anything at all for that matter!

I wrote him a letter a few months ago but heard nothing back!

Every website, forum etc tells me to talk to my gp but I just can't! So I spoke to an online doctor, and felt so relieved that I could talk to a doctor, who could inform my gp about what is going on.

Do you know what they said? Go back to my GP as it sounds like I have social anxieties. Well thanks a lot! I feel like no-one is listening to me and I'm spiralling lower and lower.

The online doctor told me that she will also write to my gp to inform him of what we have discussed. What is he going to do? Call me?

Has anyone else been in this situation? It's so hard to find help when you can't even TALK to anyone about it, I just don't know what to do anymore!

Sorry for the rant, I felt so relieved when I found a doctor that I could email, and now I feel worse than ever.

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Tiffy,

    With every treatment for a social/anxiety disorder it always means that those of us who suffer (as I did for years) have to give 50% to help any improvement.

    What you have done by stating what you can't do is effectively closing every door of help.

    Your move needs to be to think what you CAN do.

    In reality noone can cure your illness except yourself with supportive help from professionals. This is really important to understand.

    As with every anxiety we blow up each incident out of proportion.  With the telephone calls I'm sure they feel as though they are going to last for hours where in fact initially it could be one or two minutes. My advice there is to write down what you want to say. There is no reason that you couldnt state at first that you are nervous. 

    Typically breathing correctly is a huge nervous symptoms. I used to constantly take big breaths as I felt I couldnt catch my breath.

    As for weird walking. Everyone is different.

    I used to say to myself that why on earth was I so important that others were going to scrutinize my breathing and walking. Of course I wasnt and they didnt.

    Please try to turn this on its head accept that you have an anxiety problem and move forward with what you can do. Stop filling your mind with the word CAN'T. It serves no purpose.

    My one surprise is that you didnt hear back from your doctors after writing a letter. Try again and this time tell him/her what you need help with to enable you to do things. Put some cans in as well as cant.

    As for weird people. Well many of them are gifted or talented and just present themselves differently...so what!!

    I talk to you as a fellow sufferer who never gave up,,pushed myself constantly and successfully came out the other side. BUT I know how you feel...

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  • Posted

    Thanks Loop,

    I do totally understand what you are saying.

    It does seem that to get help and stop feeling like this, I am going to have to face my fear and actually talk to my GP, no matter how hard I will find it.

    I've got to the point where I have had enough of feeling like this as it's stopping me from actually living my life (seeing friends, properly running my household etc) hence the contact with the online doctor.

    I guess in my ideal world I could do it all via email and text and not have to actually see or speak to anyone. I do realize that that is totally ridiculous, but I can't help it! 

    I will definitely write them another letter..and maybe get my partner to hand it into the reception to ensure it gets there! That, along with the letter from the online doctor should hopefully mean that I can go in and know that he knows exactly how I feel. Hopefully I won't have to do too much talking then smile 

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    • Posted

      Hi Tiffy. That sounds like a good start. Dont forget to keep on the positive side. I think you can see that you cant go through life not seeing and speaking to people and you need to practise in small steps. 

      are there people who could perhaps visit you for 5 minutes for a simple conversation and then leave. That would be a good start.

      Yes you have stopped living a life (as I did) and there is a wonderful life out there for you to visit in small steps.

      Write your letter. Dont use the word maybe. Definitely get you partner to deliver it.

      The doctor should then understand that when you visit it is hard for you to talk for very long. BUT it doesn"t mattter to the doctor if you display any form of nervous symptoms. He will expect ot. Don't worry about that.

      (got to go will write more later if it helps).....))

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    • Posted

      Thanks smile 

      It's just a big hideous circle, isn't it?

      I get really down, then have periods of feeling really strange, even delusional at times. When I snap out of it I think "right, I'm going to the GP", then I feel so worried about what I should say, what he will say, whether I even SHOULD go at all, is it even worth it? Can I even bring myself to make the call? 

      Then it starts all over again. Waking in the night with that horrible feeling of cold dread, worrying about myself, my kids, my family. Picturing horrible scenarios, then feeling low and like I want to just run away from it all.

      Then I snap out of it and it starts all over again! 

      This is the first time I have  actively sought help, and being on here, reading how other people like me have had the courage to go to their gp about it, makes me feel slightly braver, like if they can do it and get better then so can I smile And there are SO many of us! I had no idea that it was so common! That helps a lot too

      Tiff x

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  • Posted

    i know the cat doesn't like me........no need to rub it in. the directions were not clear got stuck in microwave. cats
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  • Posted

    Oh my gosh, I totally get every single thing you said. And because I do all of these things that you do too.. I get flustered and that makes matters worse. I clam up and can't talk even more. I can't think right sometimes. Many times, unrelated things come out whenever.. somethings that I would never even say normally. And I have when I think I'm talking at a normal volume level and people will just be looking at me and my mouth, obviously trying to hear me and figure out what I'm saying.. their expression looks as if they are disbelief that I'm talking about something completely unaware that I don't know that no one can hear me. It's not every day.. but it only adds to my frustration and is giving me more of a complex. What happened to me? I didn't use to be like this at all. Why is all of this happening? What do I do? I can't possibly talk to a therapist out loud, we'd never get anywhere, plus I don't know how to explain all of this out loud. I need help too. What are we going to do Tiffy? If you do end up finding someone to help you, will you please let me know? Please?
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  • Posted

    How are you doing? I ran across this typing somthing into Google engine. I can relate to everything you mentioned it's very hard. I feel very alone. Looptheloop is very right about wanting the help. I've seen therapist most of my life and still feel the same I'm thinks ng aboutgiving it another shot as I feel at Rock bottom.

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